Vampire Weekend.

Saw the song on Jonathan Ross. Awesome song like.

I knew Reggie Miller was cool

Reggie Miller has always been awesome. And this photo proves it.


Ace. Check that shit. And I thought this guy was awesome when he was hitting all those three's. But then he wears that outfit and pours that vodka down that Asian chicks throat... delicious. Classy as shit. All time leader in three pointers.

Never won us a championship though...

-Maynard

New idea for a t.v. show

Premise: The dead have risen and are running for President.


- "Roooowwwrrr!! Me want to be President. Me want... brains..."

- "Zombie President cares not for the economy.... Zombie President cares only for... brains..."

- "Zombie President promises to give tax breaks to the working class in exchange for delicious... brains..."

- "Get those camera's out of here, Zombie President is feeding!! (woman (or man) screams as Zombie President bites into her (or his) neck)

- "Zombie McCain wishes to distance himself with Bush... nom nom nom."

So I think I could get a good season or two out of this. First season he's running for President... then he loses. Second season... would never happen because it would be canceled before the first season ended :( :(

-M

MacGruber

It's probably the best thing SNL has anymore.

-L

Girls don't know shit about shit

Anyone ever heard of some book called Twilight? Me either. Cause I don't read shit. But apparently girls do. It's sold like 4 million copies. Every single one of them was sold to a girl. I bet.

It's apparently about a girl that falls in love with a vampire. Why is it that girls are always falling in love with vampires? Because girls don't know shit about shit. I don't give a fuck how hot a girl is, if she's a vampire she's gonna get kicked 2 DA CURB!! I don't need one of those fucking things biting at my dayum NECK!!

Anywho, here's the trailer for the new Twilight movie. Apparently chicks all over have been, like, going nuts over this thing. They've been making little videos about it on youtube and whatnot. I don't see what's so great about it. It looks like a made for t.v. movie. Like... Sci Fi channel or something. It sucks is what I'm saying.



Wow.

Girls don't know shit about shit.

-M

Top Ten: Characters That Should Be on Lost

Okay, so by now you know that I love Lost. Best show on t.v. But could it be better? That depends on a few things. If you love the characters more than the plot than the answer is probably "Yes". I love the plot and everything as well, but face it- you wouldn't care a bit about all the mysteries if the characters were boring. We need or Lockes and Bens and Jacks to keep us interested. And so I decided to think of ten more characters, from movies and television, that would add to the shows overall greatness (well.. I got the idea from the Lost boards on IMDb... but they didn't come up with ten characters like I did. So fuck them.)

Also, feel free to add your own.

10. Mr. Eko- Okay, this one is a cheat since he was already on the show once. But they killed him!! And I know he asked to be written off the show and everything, but just imagine how awesome he would have been during season four. Damn man... I wish he were still around.

9. The Bride from the Kill Bill movies- She'd have an interesting back story at least. And she'd be a hell of a lot more interesting/entertaining than all the other females castaways. One of the reason Ana-Lucia is my favorite female member from the show was that she wasn't useless. She could kick some ass if she needed to. But The Bride could do it 100x better. It would have been fun to see her interact with all the other characters on this show. Ah well. I don't see her dying.

8. GOB Bluth from Arrested Development- I was going to put Tobias but I think GOB would be funnier if trapped on a magical island. He is a magician after all. Plus he's got such low self esteem... it would be funny to watch him try to pick up the ladies (with his magic), insult/embarrass them, then go cry in the jungle only to have Locke come out of nowhere and give him a little speech. This would help GOB to get his confidence back, then go out and repeat the whole process, all while not lifting a finger to help anyone do anything. He'd probably be dead by season 3 at the latest.

7. Bill the Butcher from Gangs of New York- Okay, so he comes from a completely different time, but still... it could be cool. After getting over the shock of the plane crash, Bill would quickly start recruiting. All white Americans are free to join his camp while all blacks, Europeans, Asians, Mexicans, Australians, Arabs (and anyone else I forgot) need not apply to join him. Then, after a few weeks and rallying the troops, he'd wage a full scale war against the dirty fucking mutts. He'd probably die really quickly. Unlike some of the bad guys on this list, I don't think he could hide his hatreds. I'd say a season one death would be most likely.

6. Brock Sampson from The Venture Bros.- Okay, so he's a cartoon, but fuck it. None of that shit on the island could happen anyways. Get over yourself. Anywho... how awesome would Brock be on this show? Unstoppable killing machine finding plenty of action and adventure (and ladies) on a magical island? Actually, now that I think about it, that might suck. He'd just murder all The Others in season one or two and then there'd be no show. Plus there'd be no power struggle between Jack and Locke because Brock would have been the clear leader from the beginning. Plus all the romance would have been taken out of the show because he'd get all the girls too. But still... those first few episodes would have been entertaining. I don't think he'd die at all on the island.

5. Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver- Think of the awkwardness!! He'd probably try to be a hunter and provider for everyone (or maybe just for himself). But then he, and everyone else, would realize he's from New York and doesn't know shit about hunting. So then he'd spend his time trying to protect Claire and Aaron. Only that was also Charlie's job and they'd get jealous of each other. Soon Claire would realize she'd need to start sticking a lot closer to Charlie once she actually got to know Travis though... that dude creeps ladies the fuck out. He'd probably die in season one by starting a fight with someone.

4. Clementine Kruczynski from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- She'd spend her days on the island fucking (and fucking with) all the male castaways. Loving them one minute, hating them the next and then breaking down and crying for hours at a time. She'd probably be killed by the rest of the castaways in season two after everyone finally gets sick of her shit. Out of all the character's I've mentioned, I think she would actually be the most likely to have been a real character on the show.

3. Frank Booth from Blue Velvet- Think of the drama!! One of the craziest motherfuckers of all time trapped on an island with the rest of the castaways. How would he act? Friendly? Evilly? He'd probably pull some shit, like kidnapping Kate or some other chick, then when they got her back he'd be banished from the island and would spend the rest of season one trying to get on everyone's good side. Then he'd turn evil again, kidnap Claire and finally be murdered (by Charlie). FUCK IT!!

2. Ash from the Evil Dead Trilogy- Imagine the conflict!! He's a strong leader like Jack, he's a smart alec like Sawyer, he believes in all kinds of crazy shit like Locke and he's got a chainsaw for a hand. You just KNOW this motherfucker would be kicking ass and taking names. He could fight Jack for leader ship, fight Jack AND Sawyer for Kate's affections, then fight Charlie for Claire's affections, then go on adventure in the jungle with Locke or Eko, then come back and fight Jack and Saywer some more, then say something funny, then go to sleep. ALL IN ONE DAY!!. I don't see him dying in this show.

1. George Costanza from Seinfeld- Go ahead, try to come up with a better answer. You can't!! George Costanza being trapped on the Lost island is one of the best things anyone has ever thought of. He probably wouldn't be involved in the mysteries too much though. He'd mostly hang around the beach, trying to scam everyone out of their freshly caught fish. Or trying to get the best beach spot by telling everyone his horrible life story. Lying, complaining, stealing. Basically, he'd be useless. He'd be more than useless, he'd be a real problem for everyone on the island. But a hilarious problem. Although, truth be told, I couldn't see him living past season one or two. He'd starve. So yeah, he'd probably die... but hilariously.


Well, there you go. That's my list. In related news, I am in desperate need of an actual life :( :(

-M

Birthday FTW!!

Well its my birthday today. Just turned 20 years old and have been having an almost good day.

Only got one present though...

thats what i got! thats ALL! my nieces MADE (didn't buy) it for me. i never asked for anything like that. i never said "I LOVE TRASH SO GIVE ME SOME!" but thats what i got :(

thats not all that happened. Maynard had an idea because he would not buy me birthday candles. he said to me he said " well since we dont have the money for candles what we will do is sing to you and at the end you will turn off the lights and we will cheer" and another idea where i had to sing for myself then turn off the lights. and its in the middle of the damn day so what would that even do?

anyways thats all i have to say

you should donate money

OH YEAH NOW FOR THE SHOCKING PART!!

i do like the present its funny ^______^

-L

Hillary Clinton = Eight Belles

The tragic death of Eight Belles at the Hillbilly Derby just got a lot funnier. Turns out Hillary Clinton was a strong supporter of the only filly in the derby. She even kind of compared herself to the beast. You know... cause she was a girl and no one thought she could win...

“I hope that everybody will go to the derby on Saturday and place just a little money on the filly for me,” she said. “I won’t be able to be there this year, my daughter is going to be there and so she has strict instructions to bet on Eight Belles.”

Then she came in second place and died.

So let's check this out here... the only filly in the race loses to "Big Brown" and then dies. Wow. That's kind of ironic I think. Will history repeat itself with the Democratic election? Only time will tell whether or not "Big Brown" can beat the girl again... and possibly kill her.


In other news, it's Lando's 20th birthday. He thinks he deserves special treatment because of this. Like I care. Motherfucker still owes me money. He'll get his birthday present when I get what's coming TO ME.

Also... my lawnmower doesn't work. So my yard has gone wild.... that's not a funny story I guess, but it's 100% true.

More later kids.

-M

Go horse, GO!!

Ain't that some shit? The Hillbilly Derby was today and favorite to win, Big Brown, did so in convincing fashion. The runner up (or whatever they call it) Eight Belles (or something like that) ended up DYING. She broke her ankles just after the race (or during it or something, I dunno. I didn't do a lot of fact checking), so they put her down. My mom was really rooting for that horse to win. So that sucks. Especially for the owners. Not only did she not win but she also DIED. That's a bad day right there.

-Maynard

(NOTE: I didn't realize until I had already posted this that I didn't give the horse a tail. Things just keep getting worse for the poor thing)

Charles Ray Fuller

Charles Ray Fuller is the latest entry into The Classy's. What has this man done to join the likes of me and Dick Masterson? He tried to cash a check for 360 billion dollars.

Let me tell you something. If I was with that guy when he walked into the bank and did that shit, I'd have thrown so many high fives his way he couldn't handle it. That's fucking awesome and classy to max.

Why did he need 360 billion dollars? To start one of the classiest businesses you can get into- the record business of course!! This guy is from Texas so I assume it would have been some shitty rap label or country label, so... he losses some Classy points for bad taste in music. But still... this guy walked into a bank and tried to cash a check for 360 billion dollars. How Ace is that?

-M

I think there's something wrong with me

Because I really, reallly like Scarlett Johansson's cover of Tom Waits "Falling Down", a song which is been pretty much universally panned everywhere I've looked. I've listened to it like five times now and it really is my favorite song so far this year. I'm not a fan of actors turned singers either guys, but this song rules. So what if she sounds like Nico? You know who else sounded like Nico? Nico. And last time I checked that didn't bother most people. Really, the vocals for this song go absolutely perfectly with the music and the mood it creates.

Now one thing I really will agree on is that the video kind of sucks. It looks too much like Lost in Translation (because it has Asian people), and I guess it goes well enough with the song, but the first thing I thought of when I saw the video was that she was trying to remind everyone of her best movie. But I quickly forgot about that and got right back into the song.

I know I'll never convince the people who hate it to change their minds and I'm not too bothered really. I know this is a good song. And hey, David Bowie thought it was good enough to lend his vocals too as well. So suck it.

Text Messages

Ok so here is the deal i just got like 4 text messages on my cell phone from some random chick i dont know and i thought i would share them with you i hope you injoy


Message 1:y dud u want2 fuck me lastnite if you cared somuch bout her im not tryin 2 b a smartass imjust askin u do u want 2 again or was lastnite it?

Message 2:if u care so much bout her y did u fuck me? i liked just bein with u b4 we even done anything

Message 3:i just do i did b4 we fucked

Message 4:sorry wrong no.


thats the end of it im so happy i could cry i have met a chick that i know is a slut and i also have her number now because she is also so dumb that she did not check who she was texting

she will be hearing from me very soon ;)

-Lando

Lost: Top Ten Questions

Lost was finally back last night and gave us, in my opinion, the best episode of the season. As always, they gave us plenty of answers but added plenty of new questions. Time to play- Lost: Top Ten Questions. For season four. So far.

1. So Lost is now The Ben Show? That's not a bad thing really, it's just I miss when Locke was awesome. Now he seems to be just another follower of Ben. But as least they made Ben awesome.

2. So Ben can control Smokey? Or can he only call him? If he can control him, does that mean he had the pilot and Eko killed? If he can only call it- why? And how?

3. So Ben wants to kill Penny? Wonder how Desmond will feel about that.

4. I wonder if Desmond will even know about it. No word yet on whether or not he ever gets off the island.

5. I don't like what they're doing with Sawyer. ...that's not a question. Why are they doing this to Sawyer? That's better.

As I've already said before, I loved what they did with Sawyer at the end of last year. He had finally killed Cooper but it didn't bring him peace. In fact, he was in a worse place than ever before. Dark Sawyer was one of the most interesting plot lines introduced at the end of last season. Now he's gone. Now he's all, "You alright, sweetheart?" and threatening to kill Locke if Hurley gets hurt. LAME. Plus I don't like how they're kind of going about this whole romance with Sawyer and Claire.

6. Is it just me, or has this been Sayid's best season ever? I always used to find him boring but this season I'm actually interested when he's on screen. Too bad about Nadia though. Although I have to admit he seemed a lot more upset when Shannon died and he only knew that bitch for like a month and a half.

7. "Changing the rules", eh? Ben and Widmore seem to be treating this like a big game. I figure it's got to be the whole time travel thing again. I think that's why Ben seemed so shocked when Alex actually died. He'd done this before and it never turned out that way. That may be a bit of a stretch but we'll see.

8. I wonder who killed the Doctor? He had his throat cut and all. Michael? Sayid? The Captain? And why?

9. What could Jacob possibly tell Locke or Ben or Hurley to help them out? I still expect something very bad to happen in the next few episodes involving these three. Hurley did say in his flash forward that it was a mistake to go with Locke. I wonder if he means because of the attack on the compound or something else?

10. I really hope Daniel and Miles lives through this season. Again, not a question... I wonder if Daniel and Miles will live through this season. They have so much to offer but because of this seasons extremely fast pace there hasn't been a whole lot of time to develop these two (especially not Miles). I hope they make it to next year and get some flashbacks.

There you have it. Answers these questions now or ask your own.

-Maynard

Aw, man, Weezer. Really?

This is rumored to be the cover for Weezer's new album, entitled "Weezer". They've had three albums now called Weezer. One of them was actually good (The Blue Album). I mean, doesn't this look like a fucking joke (which it might be)?

So what happened to these guys? Remember when they were awesome? The Blue Album and Pinkerton were pretty awesome anyways. Then they disappeared for like five years and when they came back they sounded exhausted. After FIVE YEARS!! Then they kept coming out with albums that only seemed to get worse and worse. Rivers Cuomo is one of the most notoriously eccentric characters in all of rock music, but why does his music sound so boring and lifeless now? It seems like Weezer doesn't make albums any more. They just make collections of songs that seem to make a shapeless whole. It's sad what has become of these guys.

-M

NBA Playoffs predictions

Out West-

Lakers(1) over the Nuggets(8) in 5 games.

Hornets(2) over the Mavericks(7) in 6 games.

Spurs(3) over the Suns(6) in 6 games.

Jazz(4) over the Rockets(5) in 6 games (poor, poor McGrady).

Out East (ugh...)

Celtics(1) over the Hawks(8) in 4 games

Pistons(2) over the 76ers(7) in 5 games.

Magic(3) over the Raptors(6) in 5 games.

Cavs(4) over the Wizards(5) in 6 games.

I'm thinking Celtics vs. Spurs in the Finals still... I think the Celtics might actually win it. Whoever wins the West will go to the Finals completely exhausted. Celtics probably won't have much of a challenge from anyone out East except for the Pistons and I don't see that match up going more than 6 games anyways... I'll say Celtics vs. Spurs with the Celtics winning in 6.

Cat Wars: The terrible outcome

So the good guys won. YEAH!! But, wouldn't you know it, turns out the leaders of the good cats were corrupt. They fought for a just cause, but once their enemies were vanquished, they had power beyond belief. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.


Hedonists.


So you know what this means. Gotta do some more Cat Wars. The old good guys have turned to wickedness and their old workers have taken up the cause to either convert them or destroy them.

Now we can keep this going forever.

Champions Elect?

What a day for Bada, he will tell it how it is.

Manchester United v Arsenal, probably the biggest game of the season so far. Must win for both teams for different reasons. United knowing a win would be needed to close in on the title especially with Chelsea on there asses. A loss or draw for Arsenal would surely end there title hopes even though it was still mathematically possible.

Table before the game: The title contenders. ^_^

Manchester United Played 33 Points 77
Chelsea Played 33 Points 74
Arsenal Played 33 Points 71

People who are not familiar with football, 20 teams, each team plays 38 games, 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw and 0 points for a loss.

The game:

Arsenal started off all guns blazing, they knew they had to win to be honest. They dominated the first half to be honest. I was still quietly confident though my team would get the job done. ;)

13th minute. Eboue runs down the wing for Arsenal and crosses it on a plate for Adebayor, i'm thinking surely a goal for Arsenal, Oh what's this FERDINAND with a saving block, what a block, what a defender.

23rd minute. What a ball from Evra to Ronaldo, seriously what a beauty of a ball, Ronaldo in behind Arsenal, cuts it back for Rooney, COME ON ROONEY!! but oh no Lehmann saves. He got lucky to be honest.

35th minute. BEST CHANCE YET. Hleb plays it through to Adebayor. Adebayor one on one with Van Der Sar, surely a goal for Arsenal. Tame shot by Adebayor, easy save for Van Der Sar. MUHAHA.

36th minute. Long kick out from Van Der Sar, Arsenal can't defend if there lives depended on it. Rooney through one on one with Lehmann, with about 3 Arsenal defenders chasing him. Rooney shoots and Lehamnn saves with his leg and trickles just past the post. SO CLOSE.

Half Time: I think Fergie used the hair dryer to be honest. United couldn't be any poorer. Bring on the second half.

48th minute. Disaster struck. Fabregas played in a freekick, it fizzled out to the wing to Van Persie who then crossed the ball into Adebayor 2 yards out. Guess what? He uses his hand to put the ball in the net. I went ballistic. Screaming at the tv YOU FUCKING CHEATER NIGGER!! You used your fucking hand!! Do your job properly REFEREE!! At this point my remote control went flying across the floor.

51st minute. Things nearly got worse for my team. The ball was whipped in and it hit off Ferdinands foot, was heading into the corner. 2-0 at home would be disaster. Van Der Sar pulls off a great save.

52nd minute. How things can suddenly change so dramatically. Carrick plays a hopeful ball back into the box and it hits off of Gallas hand in the box. PENALTY, IT WAS A FUCKING PENALTY. The referee obviously heard me and pointed to the penalty spot. So King Ronaldo v Lehmann. Would you bet against Ronaldo missing? I think not. Cool, calm and collective he steps up, does a little shuffle. BANG left hand side GOAL!! no chance for Lehmann. Oh no, penalty has to get retaken, fucking idiots ran in the box before the ball was struck. Take 2. Ronaldo v Lehmann again. Ronaldo steps up! BANG!! left hand side again GOAL!! 1-1 game on. The ground goes ballistic. Chants of VIVA RONALDO starts.

68th minute. Clichy runs down the wing and fires the ball across, it hits off of Brown, i was thinking SHIT own goal, thankfully it hits the post. Close escape. At this time i am sweating like an African.

71st minute. I think Evra thinks he is a striker, plays the ball into Rooney, surely this time Rooney. NO again, Lehamnn denies Rooney. GET YOUR FUCKING SHOOTING BOOTS ON!

71st minute and a bit. Free kick to United. 26 yards out or something. The stage is set up for Ronaldo. What's this? Owen Hargreaves places the ball down. I felt confident. Hargreaves curls it into the corner GOAL!! 2-1 United!!! I went beserk, i was singing really loud, my neighbours probably thought i was drunk. What a beauty of a freekick. Take a bow Hargreaves. Come back kings.

90th minute. Fabregas powers a freekick into the back post, where the fuck is the marking!! Bendter(yes that's his name)lol. Headers it at the near post. Oh shit, it's going to be a fucking goal! NO Van Der Sar, what a save!! you sonofagun!!

GAME OVER!!

What a game. My heart was pounding, now i can insult Arsenal fans. I'm going to brag so bad. :) I just love it, when people get proved wrong. Arsene Wenger said earlier on in the week that his team would win the title. :) how wrong was he. ;)

Manchester United Played 34 Points 80
Chelsea Played 33 Points 74
Arsenal Played 34 Points 71

Two more wins for Manchester United, the later game being against Chelsea, and they'll be back to back Champions again. :)



Old Trafford is rocking of chants from Viva Ronaldo.

-Bada.

Flashback Vol. 2

Maynard started doing flashbacks so i thought i would make one as well about the old days back in first grade

let me start off by saying this o_O my life was great. i had everything. all kinds of friends who were willing to do anything i asked at any time. but this story will let you know of the truth about Lando's past and why he is the way he is.

i was just like any other kid. i loved playing and i hated school. i hated it but somehow i kept doing great. let me explain this shit hardcore. when i was in first grade, i would always bring home all kinds of awards. ribbons, fucking little bulldog things they'd give you if you did stuff, special erasers and pencils. this was going on ALL school year and everyone was so proud of me. the only thing was, i didn't do any school work. i would just hide it in my desk or in my back pack and forget about it. it was a great scam. i was getting the best grades of my life. sadly, i learned nothing. that's why me no smart no more :(

i cannot be held completely responsible. the teacher was an idiot and didn't even notice that i had done absolutely no school work. so i thought to myself "sure. why not?" and i got away with it for an entire year pretty much, until the last day of school. me and my teacher were cleaning out my desk and she noticed a years worth of school work not turned in or even completed. but everytime we had an assignment and i didn't feel like doing it or got bored with it i'd just walk up to her and ask her if i could do it later and she'd always say yes, so it's her fault mostly.

"what is THIS?!" she asked. and then she made me do SOME of it. like, 2 pages of it. but it was worth it. kind of. i mean... part of me wishes i had learned something that year... i can't do math too well... but who cares? cause now i run one of the hottest blogs on the internets and get paid the big money. factory work, mostly.

shit. i should have told the story about how i led a strike in pre-school. next time. next time...

-Lando

U.S.A!! U.S.A!!

Pounding Punches - Watch more free videos

I saw this fight a few months ago and have been looking for it forever. This is just the beginning of it, but it's the best part. The American ended up winning.

-M

Flashback Vol. 1

Hey. You know Lost? Pretty much my favorite show. So we decided to copy them for a new thing we got going here. You know how in each episode they have a flashback* to let you know how each character became the way they are? We're gonna do that. We're going to start telling stories from our pasts to let you Maynard and Lando-holics get to know why we are the way we are.

I'll start off with one of my all time favorite memories. This one comes from almost 20 years ago when I was in kindergarden. It was actually the last day of school, if memory serves. You know how on the last day of school they usually just send you outside and let you play games and run obstacle courses and whatnot? Yeah, that's what we were doing. I'm not going to lie to you guys- I was doing great. Running around, chasing the dream and getting checked out by all the babes to boot.

So the teachers decide it's time for the three legged race. I get paired up with some moron who I can't even remember. They tie our legs together and all that. Now, if I had been able to run the race alone, there's no doubt in my mind I'd have destroyed the CHUMPetition. But since I was paired up with this complete loser I was less than hopeful. I knew in my heart of hearts this guy was not a winner. He couldn't win. If I was going to get that blue ribbon, I'd have to take matters into my own hands. Put the burden on my own back and carry us to Glory.

Over the past few months I think I've portrayed myself pretty accurately on this blog (except for the fact that I don't even use my real name), so I think, if you've read this for awhile, you should know me well enough to know what comes next. The whistle blew and off I went.

Right off the bat, the idiot I was paired up with fell down. No surprise there. But it still didn't stop me from screaming at him. "GET UP!! GET UP!!" I yelled, even though I gave him absolutely no chance to get up, seeing as how I was dragging him across the field. I frantically looked around and saw many of the other children had fallen to the ground as well. "Good", I thought, "maybe we're not out of this thing yet. I've got to THINK!!"

But the only thing I could think of was to continue screaming at the kid, which I did with gusto. He was crab-crawling on the ground saying "I CAN'T!! STOP!! LET ME GET UP!!" What an idiot this kid was. So I just gritted my teeth and pushed ahead with everything I had.

I could see I had some competition from two other teams. We were neck and neck and they both had their partner actually helping them. It was champion time. Glory time.

Dragging that sorry bastard behind me, I fought my way to victory. WE HAD WON!! Or should I say, I had won, even though my partner did all he could to lose. My older sister came running up from nowhere and celebrated with me as I got my blue ribbon. Although I noticed the teachers made a terrible mistake by giving my partner a blue ribbon as well, instead of giving me two blue ribbons. I did the work of two people and still won, so I think it would only be fair for me to get both blue ribbons. Like I said, I can't remember that kid's name or even what he looks like, but if I ever see him again I might just lose my shit and hurt somebody.

Okay, so there you have it. My first flashback. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and I hope this helps to shed a little light on what makes me tick.

-Maynard


*Yes, I realize they also use flashforwards now too.

Best of Radiohead

Not bad, not bad. Here's the track listing-

01 Just
02 Paranoid Android
03 Karma Police
04 Creep
05 No Surprises
06 High and Dry
07 My Iron Lung
08 There There (The Boney King of Nowhere.)
09 Lucky
10 Fake Plastic Trees
11 Idioteque
12 2+2=5 (The Lukewarm.)
13 The Bends
14 Pyramid Song
15 Street Spirit (Fade Out)
16 Everything in Its Right Place

The Best Of disc two:

01 Airbag
02 I Might Be Wrong
03 Go to Sleep (Little Man Being Erased.)
04 Let Down
05 Planet Telex
06 Exit Music (For a Film)
07 The National Anthem
08 Knives Out
09 Talk Show Host
10 You
11 Anyone Can Play Guitar
12 How to Disappear Completely
13 True Love Waits

Radiohead never seemed like the kind of band that would ever do a "Best of"

And they didn't. EMI is the one pulling this shit. Radiohead had nothing to do with it. And while I think the tracklisting is about as good as it can get, it still just seems wrong. If there was ever a band that you should NOT listen to the Best of, it's Radiohead. I know people say this about every band ever, but the only way to get to know what this band is about is to go back and listen to each album separately.

And now, just for the hell of it, I'll rank the Radiohead albums. I encourage you to do the same.

1. OK Computer- 10/10
2. Kid A- 10/10
3. The Bends- 10/10
4. In Rainbows- 9/10
5. Amnesiac- 8.5/10
6. Hail to the Thief- 7.5/10 (too... "Scatterbrain"-ed? Wink wink)
7. Pablo Honey- 6.5/10 (Good songs, just doesn't really have much of an identity)

-Maynard

April Fools

Ah, April Fools. My time to shine. People like me only get one day out of the year, April First, and we try to make the most out of it. Throughout the day, I'll be updating this post, telling you of my misadventures pranking my loved ones.

The day started off alright. I went downstairs and told everyone I had to go brush my teeth in the bathroom... only I didn't do it. Hehehe, April Fools, fuckers.

Next, I went into the living room. Greeted Lando... WITH A SWIFT KICK TO THE STOMACH!!


APRIL FOOLS, FUCKERS!!

Then he got on the computer a few minutes later... too bad he didn't see me hiding behind him. I snuck up on that April Fool and and hit him in the back with a broom ^_______^ April Fools!!

To be continued...

-M

UPDATE- Went outside where the dog, Tobey, is in a fence thing. I walked up to him and told him I was going to pet him. He jumped up and wagged his tail. I reached out to pet him... then pulled my hand away and yelled "APRIL FOOLS!!"

Tobey cocked his head to one side, then jumped up and started barking and crying.

More later- M

UPDATE NUMBER TWO- Went outside again. Picked some wild onions and knocked on the front door. My little brother answered and I threw the onions in his fucking face. APRIL FOOLS, FUCKER!!

-Maynard

UPDATE NUMBER THREE- Went to the park. We found this steep hill and decided to roll down it. When Lando rolled down it, he lost his shoe. I ran up, grabbed the shoe and threw it with all my might. "APRIL FOOLS!!", I yelled. Then he rolled down the hill again and got all muddy and really hurt himself.

^____________________^

-M

UPDATE NUMBER FOUR- Saw Lando talking to Bada on MSN. Lando went to the bathroom, so I got in his chair and typed "Fuck me. Oh man, fuck me." Big laugh from me.

Then we went to the store. On the way I kept swerving into the other lane yelling "APRIL FOOLS!!" Another big laugh. From me.

-The Always Classy... Maynard

UPDATE NUMBER FIVE (FINAL UPDATE)- Time for the biggest prank of them all. Time for the shocking twist ending. The one that will be remembered years from now... I've been lying all day long. Kind of.

I did brush my teeth this morning. I was unable to kick Lando in the stomach because he blocked my attack. Also, I didn't hit him in the back with a broom. He took most of the hit on his shoulder. I didn't even bother Tobey today. When I threw the onions at my brother, it missed his face and went over his shoulder. I did throw Lando's shoe, but I didn't throw it with all my might. Plus, the wind caught it, so it barely went anywhere. When I wrote "Fuck me" to Bada, I actually only wrote "Kiss me." While we were driving, I did swerve a little, but never crossed over the line and never did it while traffic was coming.

Does this shock you? The Usual Suspects, The Sixth Sense and The Empire Strikes Back can kiss my ass. Biggest. Shock. Ever.

For you see, dear reader, the prank has been on YOU all along.

April Fools, fuckers.

-M

Bada's Take On Wrestlemania 24.

Firstly the ordering of the matches were pathetic in my opinion.

JBL v Finlay.
Money In The Bank.
Batista v Umaga.
Kane v Chavo Guerrero.
Shawn Michaels v Ric Flair.
Beth Phoenix & Melina v Maria & Ashley Massaro.
Randy Orton v John Cena v Triple H.
Floyd Mayweather v Big Show.
Edge v Undertaker.

Orton v Cena v Triple H should of been the main event really.
Money In The Bank should of been put near the end.

Also i never realised the Citrus Bowl actually had no roof and shit. The fans must of got soaked. It looked like a storm was brewing as far as i could see.

Here's my take on the matches.

JBL v Finlay, it was an alright fight. Lots of weapons were involved so it made quite decent. Eventually though JBL won with the clothesline from hell.

Money In The Bank, no Money In The Bank could ever top the very first one done. It was a pretty poor Money In The Bank match to be honest. MVP look like he was about to win it with all the rest of the superstars down. Matt Hardy comes out of the crowd (like no one saw that coming) Matt Hardy bascially admitted that he would interfere. Matt Hardy was asked when he would return to the ring. Hardy commented by saying, "tonight's a good night." So he screwed MVP. CM Punk and Jericho was on the ladder battling then Jericho got his foot caught and was upside down on the ladder and CM Punk gets Money In The Bank. Pretty poor really.

Batista v Umaga, i think it was fairly obvious who would win this fight, i'm going to tell you why exactly. Everyone knows Raw is better than Smackdown, so why not let Smackdown win the brand battle. That's what happened Batista beat Umaga.

Kane earlier won the battle royal which meant he would face Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Title.

Kane v Chavo Guerrero. This is how it played out, Kanes music went, Chavo was in the ring waiting for him. Kane appeared behind Chavo out of nowhere then Chavo turned around and BANG Chokeslam, new ECW Champion, the match lasted a whole 6 seconds. Why bother in the first place?

Shawn Michaels v Ric Flair. Apparently this could of been the main event but Flair declined the idea. We all knew what was going to happen. Seriously, Hall Of Fame Night, Flair was talking for like an hour in his speech when he got inducted in the Hall Of Fame, thanking everyone, he was crying, wrestlers had tears in there eyes. I think it was fairly obvious that Flair would lose and then retire. How ironic that Ric Flairs last match was a pretty darn good one. Michaels and Flair gave everything. Flair kicked out of Sweet Chin Music, Michaels had the figure four leg locked in him at least twice and still got out of it. Then when Flair was groggy from the first Sweet Chin Music, HBK went all gay and went "I'm sorry" BANG another Sweet Chin Music 1,2,3. One of the best matches on the night though. Flair is 59 when he retired, god does this mean Undertaker is going to be around for another 10 fucking years. AHHH.

Beth Phoenix & Melina v Maria & Ashley Massaro. No one cares about these matches? We just want to see PUPPIES. They had a power failure in this match. It was pretty funny. lol. Anyway it was pretty pathetic really, the match. Santiago or whatever the fuck is his name. He came to ringside distracted Maria, then Jerry Lawler decided to punch Santiago, while all this happened Maria got pinned by Beth Phoenix. Then Santiago got in the ring and was bothering Maria or shit. Then Snoop Dog got in the ring and gave Santiago a clothesline and then made out with Maria.

Randy Orton v John Cena v Triple H. This fight, it seemed like it last like 10 minutes. I think it got cut short because of the power failure. Obviously i could see shit because i was watching it on tv but no ideas about the actual fans there. Then the power sorted itself out. In the end, Triple H predigreed Cena then went for the pin 1,2, then Orton kicked Triple H in the head and pinned Cena to retain his belt. One of the worst triple threat matches i have ever seen. The crowd seemed fantastic though. Cena and Triple H were throwing punches. Everytime Cena punched The Game he got booed, everytime The Game punched Cena the fans cheered.

Floyd Mayweather v Big Show. God, awful, absolutely awful. Mayweather was thinking this was a boxing match, he went to the corner and took some water like they do in boxing and i guessed that pissed the Big Show off. Then Floyd was trying to leave with his posse. Big Show took out his posse. Then back to the ring Big Show was about to finish Mayweather off then one of his posse got a chair and hit Big Show, then Mayweather started hitting Big Show with the chair and got brass knuckles and hit Big Show in one punch. KNOCK OUT. 40-0 i guess now for Floyd Money Mayweather.

Undertaker v Edge - Main Event. I hate Undertaker so bad, but this was a pretty darn good fight as well. I love fights when there is lots of counters and wrestlers are kicking out of other wrestlers finishing moves and shit. Edge countered bascially everything in the early going, Last Ride, Old School, Edge speared Undertaker, i thought the streak was over but no Undertaker kicked out. It was like that the whole match. Then Edge speared Undertaker again and went for the pin but Undertaker got his legs around Edges head, some submission move, it looked like Taker was getting a blow job really. Edge then tapped. 16-0. It's pathetic, i really hope Undertaker loses at Wrestlemania sometime soon. Good match though. Then fireworks went off but some fireworks went into the top tier. Lucky no one was seriously injured.

Overall it was alright, wasn't the best Wrestlemania and wasn't the worst. It's amazing how it broke records though.


-Bada.

The Great One.

The Rock Returns - Hall of Fame 2008 Part 10
Uploaded by JabroniHotel99

He will return one day. I guarandamnteeit.

Prison Break.

I started watching Prison Break like a month ago. I thought it would be lame but i'm really into it. I was pretty pissed when i started watching Season 3. Sara Tancredi was killed off. Her head was found in a box by Lincoln. I had my suspicions. You only got to see the head for like a couple of seconds and LJ heard screaming but he was infact blindfolded. So he probably assumed that it was infact Sara screaming. I just had a gut feeling, i don't know why, that infact Sara was still alive, well my friends and fans, i am here to tell you that infact my gut feeling was correct, it wasn't her head. It's confirmed that Sara Tancredi will be back in Prison Break Season 4. This is wonderful for me. She's one foxy lady. MEOW.

-Bada.

Wrestlemania 24.

I haven't watched Wrestling in quite a long time. I lost interest when The Great One left. (The Rock). But finally Bada is going to watch Wrestling again. It will start at WM24. So i'm going to do some predictions for WM24:

BunnyMania Lumberjack Match: Ashley & Maria vs The Glamazon & Melina.

I don't really care much for this match. I hope some divas get undressed though. ;) Maria sure does look fine in her PlayBoy pictures. :) Ashley & Maria for me though.

Finlay v JBL - Belfast Brawl.

Probably a sucky fight, i don't really like either wrestler. I'm going for Finlay though considering it's a Belfast Brawl.

24-Man Battle Royal - Winner Faces ECW Champion.

Raw: Snitsky, Brian Kendrick, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Hardcore Holly, Cody Rhodes, Val Venis, Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

Smackdown: Mark Henry, Chuck Palumbo, The Great Khali, Deuce Domino, Jesse, Festus, Kane, Jamie Noble, Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore.

ECW: Elijah Burke, Matt Striker, The Miz, Tommy Dreamer, Kofi Kingston.

The most obvious choice to pick for this match up would be The Great Khali, but i have a feeling they will all try and get him out first. I'm going for Kane.

Smackdown vs Raw: Batista vs Umaga.

They are both completely useless. Batista for the win.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match.

Mr Kennedy, Chris Jericho, Shelton Benjamin, Carlito, Mvp, John Morrison and CM Punk.

I love the ladder matches, probably one of the most exciting matches at WM24. I hope it doesn't disappoint. I'm sure CM Punk is supposed to get a push. So CM Punk for me, i wouldn't count out Chris Jericho though.  

Career Threatening Match.

Ric Flair v Shawn Michaels.

Why, oh why does Shawn Michaels keep getting put in these pointless fights. He should be going for the WWE title. When is Ric Flair just going to retire all ready. It wouldn't surprise me if Ric Flair wins this match with the figure four leg lock. I'm going for some Sweet Chin Music though for HBK.

Floyd Money Mayweather v Big Show.

The greatest boxer ever? against the largest. I think Floyd Mayweather will pull out the win. It will be something stupid like the Big Show will get disqualified. 

World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs Undertaker.

I hate The Undertaker so bad. He's so overrated. He's a poor wrestler. How he has this undefeated record at WM, it amazes me. Why are the WWE so stupid? I see The Undertaker winning again though, i hope i am proved wrong.

Triple Threat Match For The WWE Championship.

Randy Orton v Triple H v John Cena.

Cena is making a movie, so this could well be a reason why he won't win the belt, I seriously don't see Randy Orton retaining his title. Which could well see Orton v Triple H feud while Cena is making his movie. So i guess that means Triple H will be champion BUT on the other hand. I'm not counting out John Cena based on the fact that he only has to turn up to RAW so he has 6 other days to shoot his movie. 

My predictions are obviously in the bold and italics. They are probably all wrong but who cares? I hope it's a good WM24, considering i'm paying for it off of the Sky Box Office.

Also THE ROCK is returning to WM24, unfortunately only to induct some of his family into The Hall Of Fame. It will be interesting to see if The Rock and John Cena crosses paths. 

-Bada.

Grand Theft Auto 4 Street Map?

my guess? sure. why not?

-L

I Must OWN!!

Which makes a better T-shirt?


or


I like the second one, Lando likes the first one. I'm sure he'd wear either, if I bought one. He's always wearing my shit. And he gets shit all over them. Every single time he wears my shirt, I know it'll just end up ruined. Chilli sauce, ice cream, milk, doesn't matter... it all ends up in the shirt. Today he wouldn't even get off the couch to get himself a bottle of water... then he ate my mother's cup cakes and I had to go buy her some more.

Which shirt is better?

-Maynard

What the...

What in the hell happened to Bill Richardson? I'm not gay or anything, but I saw him last night on t.v. and he went from looking like this-



To this-



Looking sharp, my nigga. I think you and I both know he has only one place to go after that...



Tell me you wouldn't want this man to be your Vice President. You can't tell me that, cause we both know it'd just be a lie.

Stay Classy,

-M

Top Ten: Songs of the 60's

Time for another one. I messed up last time when I did the top ten songs of the 70's. I didn't put Roxy Music's "More Than This" anywhere... so I took a little longer making this list, hoping I got it just right.

10. I Just Wasn't Made for These Times
9. It's Alright, Ma by Bob Dylan
8. The Weight by The Band
7. Sunday Morning by The Velvet Underground
6. Mr. Tambourine Man by The Byrds (Dylan's version is good, but The Byrds outdid him)
5. The Village Green Preservation Society by The Kinks
4. Subterranean Homesick Blues by Bob Dylan
3. Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan
2. The Night They Drove Ole Dixie Down by The Band
1. Heroin by The Velvet Underground

So there you have it. Yeah... I'm a big Dylan fan.

EDIT: Yes, stupid moron that I am, I meant "Heroin" by The Velvet Underground, not "Heroine."

MVP!!

I'm officially supporting Chris Paul for this year's MVP award. I was kind of skeptical until I saw this.

He fucking destroyed the Bulls. Of course, they deserved to lose for wearing those atrocious green uniforms.

Paul is averaging 21.6 PPG and 11.3 APG. Steve Nash won two MVP awards and he didn't play as well as Paul. Where were these guys last year? Nowhere, that's where. Paul has lifted them into the elite. He's playing better and is more important to his team than either Kobe Bryant or LeBron James.

Chris Paul for MVP (high five)

I Got My Ass Kicked

In my sleep. Or something. Cause I woke up feeling like shit (not to be confused with "The Shit")

I've been staying up far too late lately. The past three days I've woken up past noon, which is not good for me. Today I had to force myself to get up at 12:30. When I stood up I was all wobbly and almost fell over. I tried to walk down the stairs and almost tipped forward, which would have resulted in my death. I went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror and was appalled by the person I saw staring back at me. My eyes were all puffy and it looked as if someone and taken the liberty to kick my head in while I slept.

This isn't exactly anything new for me. It happened a few years ago too. I'd wake up with bruises and stuff all over me. One time I woke up and there was tiny little blood droplets all over my bed, although I could never find any cuts or scratches on my body. Best I could figure is that whoever did it probably cut themselves and let it drip all over my bed. Why? Fear tactic.

Funny thing is, the most likely suspect has always been Lando. And I'm not gonna take this shit anymore. I feel like I'm about to die.

Let's just say Lando's gonna have a lot to write about tomorrow morning, heheheh. Cause I'm gonna kick his ass in his sleep tonight, hehehehe. Or not. But I'm going to get to the bottom of this shit. Cause I am sick of it. I shouldn't have to deal with this bullshit. It's not fair.

-M

More Lost stuff

Awesome. Totally awesome.

So I'm back after a few weeks of taking a break from talking about Lost. At least on this site. So we'll have to get this shit together. Instead of talking about the episodes themselves, which have all been pretty strong, I'm gonna just talk about the characters and what they're up to. Enjoy.

Jack- Remember how at the beginning of this season Jack was all macho and kicking ass and taking names on a somewhat regular basis? What happened? I've always defended Jack, but I could also always see what bothered people so much about him. He's, at times, kind of a push over. And it seems he's back to doing just that. He didn't push Juliet for any answers in "The Other Woman." He just kissed her. Lame.

He also doesn't seem too concerned or even interested in the whole "time is different on the island" theory. I don't think he's mentioned it once since Faraday brought it up in "The Constant." Perhaps it's just me, but I'd probably talk non-stop about that if I were on the island. I'd want to know everything Faraday knows. Jack, on the other hand, seems to be just sitting back and taking it easy for the most part. What's the deal? When are they gonna give this guy something to do?

Claire- Speaking of giving a character something to do... I like this season. A lot. We've gotten more answers in the last 7 episodes than any other period in the shows history. But with all this non-stop action, something seems to have been lost. Character development. She's had nothing to do all season long. She's just... there. Because they haven't developed her this season, they've kind of turned her into a bitch, you know? Doesn't it seem like she got over Charlie's death pretty quickly? That makes it seem like she never even cared for the poor limey bastard. I wouldn't be surprised if she were the character to die next week. I'm not sure she will be, but it wouldn't surprise me.

Kate- What a bitch. If any woman smacked me the way she smacked Sawyer, I'd have layed that bitch out. NO QUESTION.

Sawyer- Another casualty of the non-stop action. He hasn't had it easy this season. The last few episodes of last season, Sawyer was the undisputed MVP. He had an actual story. He had finally turned into the lovable leader, only to be sucked into the deepest, darkest time of his life after killing Anthony Cooper.

Now? Well, he's back to being a lovable follower. Which kind of sucks. I liked the dark Sawyer angle. I liked the thought of him vying to be a leader. All that has gone out the window in order to make room for him and Hurley playing horseshoes. Lame.

Hurley- Hurley has become more interesting for the most part. We learned Jacob wants to have a sit down with him, but why? No idea. That storyline has taken a back seat. They might not get to it this season. He seems to be happy following Locke.

Locke- Aw man, I knew this shit would happen. They're making Locke a bumbling fool. He's frustrated and confused. He's letting Ben run the show. I hear that Locke will be heading for better days soon, but I don't know. I hope so. He's too good a character to be reduced to playing the fool.

Ben- He's always got a plan. BECAUSE HE'S LIVED THROUGH THIS BEFORE!! He's always a step ahead of the rest because he already knows everything that's gonna happen. I think. Either way, he's doing what he does best- pulling everyone's strings. As Harper said, "Ben's right where he wants to be." This makes me so scared for Locke. We still haven't learned why Hurley said he should have gone with Jack instead of Locke, but we're moving ever closer (and I'm almost positive Ben will play a part in it).

I also found it interesting that Ben had such a crush on Juliet. Frankly, I don't see the appeal. But whatever. Here's my new theory (which everyone else has already come up with, I'm sure) Ben got Annie pregnant. She died on the island. Ben spends the rest of his life trying to fix it. He brings Juliet to the island. Juliet looks just like Annie. Ben loves Juliet.

Or something like that. I forget.

Miles- Where's he at?

Faraday- Best of the new characters, needs more development.

Charlotte- Another bitch.

Frank- Last night, I was talking with Lando about how they should have had Jeff Bridges play him. He could play it like The Dude!! "Look, uh, man, I'm trying to help you!! I'm on your side, man!!"

Sun and Jin- Jin, you're a bitch. What was that shit? Forgiving your wife for cheating on you only like an hour after you found out? My ass.

Sun, you should have been the one to die. Okay, okay, I'm sorry. That's a little extreme. But seriously, that's bullshit. Jin is too good for you!!

I wonder if Jin is really dead? Probably. But there is a good chance he's still on the island. We know some people got left behind and the Oceanic 6, for some reason, had to make a pact to lie to the world about what happened. Perhaps they had to tell the world Jin was dead. It would explain why Sun was so sure Jin would show up at the hospital. Sort of. I dunno. I'm not entirely ready to call him 100% dead just yet. But then, if he wasn't the 6th member of the Oceanic 6, who was? That shoots a hole in my theory. He's probably dead. Fuck it.

I'm sleepy. Goodnight. Or morning. Whichever.

-M

Let's talk Running-Mates

I got me the politics fever again. This shit is bananas!!

So we know who the Republican candidate will be (unless he dies)- John McCain. I kind of like McCain. We agree on many things and disagree on a couple of key issues (like Iraq). I can't see myself voting for him though. If he were a younger man, sure. But this bastard is 71, folks. That's the only thing stopping me for fully supporting him. Well, that and the fact he bitched out for Bush back in 2004, even after all that shit Bush pulled in 2000. Too biased towards his own party.

If there were one thing that could make me change my mind, it might be a good running mate. But he's a Republican, so that's impossible to find. BOO YAH!!

But since we're talking running mates, I guess we better get this out of the way. I'm pretty sure it'll be Charlie Crist. He's young-ish and he's a leader of one of the most important states in the election (Florida). His age will re-assure voters that if McCain eats it before his four years are up, they'll still have a fifty-something Republican to fuck the country up for the remainder of his term. Kidding, kidding. He might not be so bad. But... he probably will be.

Clinton- What's this bitch trying to pull? She's behind Obama and she's talking about letting him be VP. Whatever, bitch. We all know she'd love to have him on the ticket, cause they really would be all but unbeatable. Too bad Obama has already shot down that idea. So that leaves Evan Bayh, my main man from Indiana. I love Bayh. The man is my political hero. He'd be the only thing that might make me consider voting for her. If Clinton gets the nomination, I'm pretty certain Bayh will be her running mate. The Clinton's have been big on him for years now.

Obama- Still the front runner for the Democrats. But he's gotta be smart when it comes to picking a running mate. I'd love nothing more than for him to run with Bayh, but with Bayh being such a Clinton supporter, I think it might be doubtful. Still, I can dream, right? I really think Bayh could help any Democrat. No Republican could ever accuse him of being too liberal. He's got a ton of experience in things that actually matter. He could help carry Red-state Indiana, ect. He's the perfect running mate!! But like I said, I don't think he'll run with anyone but Clinton.

Let's imagine for a minute McCain does pick Crist to be his running mate. Crist is going to help McCain big time in battle state Florida, so Obama would probably strike back in similar fashion. I'd guess Sherrod Brown from Ohio. They have a lot in common. Both against the war. Both...

Well, I'm just guessing he'll pick Brown. Unless he wants to go with John Edwards. If he does, it'll only be because Edwards is a "name." We learned in 2004 he can't really help anyone win anything, so that'd be a waste of a running mate. So it'll either be Brown or Edwards, with Bayh as an outside shot (outside shot of course meaning "my wishful thinking") Yeah... he'll probably pick Edwards. Damnit. But he could have several really decent running mates. Bill Richardson (my second choice after Bayh), Jim Webb (someone I'm thinking has a really strong chance), ect. He won't need to look for long.

So there you have it. Which do you think has a better shot of winning the election? McCain/Crist or Obama/Edwards (or possibly Brown, Richardson or Webb, among others)? or Clinton/Bayh?

-M

EDIT: Okay, I should have done this before I made this post, but I did a little research on Brown and this guy seems to not be the most beloved politician. So... maybe we can rule him out? I dunno. Just gotta wait and see.

Kicking Ass and Taking Names

So last night i went to my sisters to get drunk and play Call of Duty 4, things did not start off well we had to go pick up my Brother-in-Law frankie teardrop who was walking home because he thought that my sister (saucy sally)told him that he could stay there and she was going home.

I really don't know what was going on because i was not listing, but it was kind of funny you see saucy sally made frankie go to this little party thing (at his brothers)he did not want to go, but she believed that if he did not his family would get mad at her and say she does not let him live his own life and stuff like that.

anyways we picked him up and you could tell he had already been drinking (frankie teardrop is an alcoholic) he is such an alcoholic he had to make his own drink when he got home. he made a sort of variation of coach mcguirks "yeast infection". it had Vodka milk coke and a lot of stuff just hearing what was in it made me feel sick, but that did not stop me from drinking

anyways we started playing Call of Duty 4 and drinking frankie's "yeast infection" and it made me play way better we were playing teams my team was me and some jerk off named tony price$ AKA o_O from that one lame blog >_< Vs. o_O and frankie and sally on the other team we had to score 250 points to win and one game i believe the score was 30-250 i was on fire all night long

then frankie wanted some candy so he made sally drive him to the store i did not go with them but from what i hear he was falling all over the place and almost broke his hand that was pretty funny

and after all that we stayed up watching anime the rest of the night and tony price$ and frankie got into a fight about who would win out of the bad guy from final fantasy 7 and kingdom hearts 2

then the next morning when we got up we played the game again and then i came right home to make a blog about my night

thats about all i have to say to you so i am out of here


with painful love


Lando

The GOP will eat her alive

With shit like this


Hopefully Obama can still win the Democratic nomination. Who wants to be the one to tell their kids they didn't vote for that guy? With Hillary in the running... I just don't see her winning. John McCain and the Right will tear her apart, and we all know how Hillary responds when under stress.

This is going to be really interesting from here on out.

-Maynard

Perhaps I spoke too soon?

Remember yesterday when I said certain things should never be made into movies? Of course you do. One of the things I mentioned that should never be made into a film was Watchmen, Alan Moore's graphic novel. It's too big and unwieldy to be made into a decent movie. I honestly think, if someone simply HAS to film this, it should be made into a mini-series. Give it a good 8 hours for it's story to unfold. It would be worth it.

But, of course, it's being made into a feature length movie. Fine. I still don't like the idea. It just can't work.

That's what I thought yesterday. Today, stills featuring all the major characters (except Dr. Manhattan, who is a bit harder to put on screen) have finally hit the web, and I gotta say, they're not half bad.

COMEDIAN looks pretty awesome. Just how he should.


NITEOWL looks about right too. Maybe not schlubby enough, but I think he looks alright. He's a boring character anyways, so I won't be too upset if he sucks.


OZYMANDIAS looks alright, except for one thing- he's too young. This dude is supposed to be in his 40's. But I guess I can't be too picky. He looks good.


RORSCHACH is one I'm not digging. His mask looks like it's made of cotton. They better not fuck him up, he's the most badass of all graphic novel characters. But then again, I guess it is kind of hard to get him just right.


SILK SPECTRE looks pretty good. She was the most boring character anyways, so who cares?


So there you have it. Did I speak too soon? Probably not. It'll still more than likely suck, but these pics give me a little more hope. I wonder what Dr. Manhattan will look like? Can't wait to see pics of him.

That's all for now, suckers.

-Maynard

Dragon Ball Z movie delayed

Yeah... Dragon Ball Z rules. Forever. What of it? So as you might expect, I'm super pissed the movie has been delayed until April 2009. Just kidding. I'm quite pleased.

Look, this movie shouldn't be made. It's gonna suck. And sucky movies should not be made. There are certain pieces of storytelling that should not and cannot be made into films that will do the originals justice. Kafka's The Metamorphosis, Alan Moore's Watchmen (which is also being made into a film due out next year), and Dragon Ball Z. In each of their own formats, they're as good as can get. Try to put them on film and you'll fuck up everything that made them great. Anyone who has seen Street Fighter knows that.

So what am I getting at with this post? No idea. It's happening one way or the other. I guess... uh... just go out and buy season 4, now on DVD. And don't see this when it comes out. It'll suck.

I warned you.

-M

So... I suck at video games

Pretty badly. Pretty REALLY badly.

So I unexpectedly went to a sort of cook out today at my sisters. We'll call her... Saucy Sally. She's married to this guy, who we'll refer to as Frankie Teardrop. Sally and Frankie enjoy video games. I used to as well, up until the good game systems came out. Then it got too confusing for me and I gave up, becoming obsessed with movies and music instead. Every time I play games I get slaughtered. Today was no exception.

Lando was hanging out with them all day and the way he explains it, Saucy Sally and Frankie Teardrop spent the entire day trying to track down a game called Call of Duty 4. So this evening we all went over and decided to play. I knew it was a bad idea for me to even try because I have no idea how to even use those controllers. I sat and watched everyone playing and I thought- "Shit son, this looks easy. I could smoke these jokers."

So I tried. And sucked. Within the first few minutes, I was killed 8 times, if memory serves. I got in a few lucky shots, but that wasn't skill. Just random shooting. Every time I got a kill I tried to gloat over the fresh victim, and the damn body would explode right as I was trying to step on their face!! That happened like 5 times, maybe more. Plus I couldn't get a handle on the controllers. I'd get someone in my sights and I wouldn't be able to kill them because I'd shoot right next to them. It sucked. Everyone else was having a great time. I almost put my fucking foot through their television set. Luckily (for them) I contained my composure. I may not be able to kill them in a video game, but I could damn sure ki.... never mind.

Video games are fucked anyways. They should have just stopped making them after Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest came out. What's the point? After you beat that game, your life is complete. That game was awesome.

-M

New Job

Well maynard and i got a new job the other day at a place i hate and i pretty much quit. its not hard work or anything it just sucks. i am stocking stuff at a store in the mornings. i have to get up at 5 in the morning its BULLSHIT! i hated it right from the start when nobody would tell me what i was doing or how to do it so to get them back i hid alot of stuff and put everything in the wrong place ^____^ it was great.

they pretty much just let me and maynard do whatever we want. today this lady came and asked me something and i had no idea what to tell her. she kind of followed me around so i walked her over to this lady and made her show her everything.

oh yeah and there are some nice looking chicks there also i have my eye on one of them SLUTS! >=~D today one of them came up to me and started talking. she knows a good deal when she sees it. but what she doesn't know is that i am a bad risk who won't have a job by morning most likely. fuck it, man.


i will be fired soon. thats all thats been going on in landoland so see you suckas another time

Cat Wars: Final Battle

This is it. The battle to end all battles. Good vs. Evil. Who will claim ultimate victory?

Japan is sick

Sick meaning awesome, of course. Back in the 90's.



- The Always Classy,
Maynard

The Classiest Thing I Ever Saw

Dwight Howard at last years slam dunk contest. he should have won then. he won this year though, but he didn't have anything as classy as this.



EDIT: Further proof that Dwight Howard is a beast.

-L

Lost: Some thoughts and theories

Man, I'm addicted again. I don't think there's ever been a show as addicting as Lost. I need help. You want to know the thing that scares me most about the thought of dying? That I might not get to finish that damn show.

Enough of that, let's get on with this. WARNING- Spoilers follow.

So, tonight's episode, The Economist, kicked as much ass as the other two episodes this season. In fact, it was the best one yet. It was Sayid centric and that had me worried at first. I've never been a huge fan of the character. I've found him to be boring most of the time. But after this episode, I can't wait to find out more. What was he talking about when Ben said "you know what happened last time you thought with your heart instead of your gun?" (it was something like that).

My theory- someone got killed. Probably Claire. I don't know how yet. I think if anyone dies this season it will be her. Because as most of us know, Aaron ends up with Kate in the future. That could just mean that Claire gets left behind, but I don't think so. Usually, when a character dies, it's someone who serves the least amount of purpose. I think Claire fits that bill. Maybe Rose or Bernard. But I'll say it's Claire, just because Aaron ends up with Kate.

As for Kate, well, she wasn't as annoying in this episode. It was mostly about her feelings for Sawyer and or Jack. It might be just me, but I find the romantic stuff to be the most boring thing about Lost. Hopefully that'll end sooner rather than later ;)

Jack didn't have a lot to do either. He mostly sat around and watched Daniel. Have I mentioned how much I like these new characters? Well, all except Charlotte. I love Lost, but they seems to be unable to write interesting female characters. Ana Lucia was interesting, but... no one else thought so. Maybe that means I'm the one who's wrong? Pssh, whatever man.

As for the new characters. I think I like Daniel and Miles the best. Miles- he's funny, can talk to ghosts, ect. Plus I've always liked Ken Leung. And Daniel just makes me laugh. He looks a lot like my hillbilly Uncle Snake. And he acts like Lando whenever he gets around strangers (especially female strangers.) Frank seems interesting. He seems to be a great pilot. But how did he get all those cuts and bruises if he made that great landing?

Anywho, back to the action. So, Daniel's experiment. Proof that there is some sort of time disturbance? I think so. But it appears to be only a few minutes. I would have guessed much longer.

On the Hurley front, what's up with that, man? You betrayed your homies. But I liked his joke about Sayid's break dancing moves. So is he in with Locke now or what? In the last episode, Hurley made a comment about a certain cabin that seems to interest both Locke and Ben a great deal. If they both know that Hurley is "special", who does that help the most? Probably Ben. I don't think Locke wants Hurley to be as special as him. But then again, the same could be said of Ben. He shot Locke because he heard Jacob, after all. The only thing we know for certain is that things do not end well, as Hurley told Jack that he made a mistake by going with Locke. Am I the only one who really doesn't like what they're doing with Locke? He's my favorite character, but they're fucking him up I'm afraid. They're making him a dick. He never used to be this selfish. It looks like they're turning him into an egomanic. Please, Lost team, don't turn Locke into something that simple.

Oh, and Ben. Well, it's safe to say he survives the island and Locke. Who exactly is it that he's having Sayid hunt down and kill? And why?

Theory- Widmore people. Don't ask me why, but I think Widmore has a lot to do with this fucking shit. YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF, WIDMORE!! I guess that's not much of a theory though, is it? More of a hunch. Oh, and I'm betting big money that Ben's person on the boat is Michael. I don't know why he'd be working for him though... gotta think about that one a bit.

Well, that's about it for now. I didn't give myself any time to gather my thoughts with this one, so you'll have to forgive me for not touching on more subjects. Although I would like to add one more thing- why was Sayid all cuddled up with that chick like that? He was laying on her shoulder... kind of like a woman. That... disturbed me.

That's all for now folks.

-M.

My thoughts exactly

-Maynard

B... Bada?

Well, I guess Bada went through with the bet he made with Lando. He's dead. How could he not be? No one has seen him since the Superbowl. To refrsh your memories, Lando and Bada made a bet that Bada would have to kill himself if the Patriots lost, and... well, I don't have to remind you what happened.

None of us actually thought he'd go through with it. He and Lando make these bets all the time and he's never killed himself before. But I guess his favorite team going 18-1 was just too much for him. Either he can't live in a world where the Patriots don't win the Superbowl, or he can't live in a world where Lando wins. At anything. I feel sort of the same way. Me and Lando would play chess sometimes and he'd almost always win the first game. This would cause the chemicals in my brain to go all off-balance, ect. forcing me to challenge him to another game, where I would crush him into the ground with zero mercy >:D

But there can be no other game for Bada. The flaw with his bet was that he himself could not affect the outcome. That's why I never bet my life on football games. Too much can go wrong.

Ah well, forget it. I guess it's back to just me and Lando. Patrick is a dead man anyways. That guy causes so many problems I can't even believe it. Forget him too.

Just forget everything.

-M

TOP TEN: Favorite albums

I haven't done a top ten in a little while, so here's a new one. Again, if you don't agree with this list, maybe you should go listen to your brand new Kid Rock CD, FAG!!

1. OK Computer by Radiohead. Basically the best album ever made. It's hard for me to put into words exactly what it is. I look at this album as the beginning of an entirely new era in music. It changed everything. It's as close to perfect as you can get.

2. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot by Wilco. The American version of OK Computer. Or at least that's what they say. I think it's similar (especially in sound), but different in many other ways. OK Computer can at times seem distant and cold, but YHF always seems so personal and, even though the songs sound sad, there's a bit a hope in nearly every tune.

3. In the Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel. I can't think of a single album that I connect more to my childhood. It's funny though, because I didn't hear this album until I was, like, 21. But I'm not the only person who connects with it this way. Read any (possitive) review and you'll hear the same thing. Jeff Mangum's songs are very personal, but they're a type of personal everyone, especially young men I think, can relate to.

4. Loveless by My Bloody Valentine. Out of all the albums I've ever heard, this is the one that I simply cannot figure out how it was made. It seems impossible that anyone could get those instruments to make those sounds, no matter how much they're played with in the studio. It's the most dense album I've ever heard. But none of that would matter if the songs sucked. Thankfully, they don't. Far from it.


5. You Forget It In People by Broken Social Scene. It kind of reminded me of Loveless for this decade when I first heard it. This one is the hardest to pin down. It sounds like My Bloody Valentine having rough sex with Sonic Youth. That's as close as I can get to decribing it to someone who's never heard it.

6. Kid A by Radiohead. Radiohead's big "Fuck You" to everyone. So many people wanted them, NEEDED them to be the new U2 after OK Computer. Radiohead had other ideas. Devoid of guitars for much of the album, Radiohead instead decided to make a pop version of an electronic album. Some people say Radiohead shouldn't be hailed for this album because it sounds like other artists albums, namely Aphex Twin, but those people couldn't be more wrong. Aphex Twin could never make this album. There's too much humanity in Radiohead's electronica.

7. Anodyne by Uncle Tupelo. Before Wilco, Jeff Tweedy was the jr. partner of Uncle Tupelo, along with future Son Volt frontman Jay Farar (and some other guy no one cares about anymore). Listening to this album though, you'd have no idea the big ideas these guys would eventually be throwing around in their music. That's not a complaint though. This album sounds like three guys sitting around, singing sad songs about love and death, ect. But the songs are among the best either man ever wrote, and put them together and you've got perhaps the greatest alt country album ever. I love Wilco to death and I think they're the best band in American history, but if Uncle Tupelo could have gave us another couple of these albums, I wouldn't have complaned.

8. Highway 61 Revisted by Bob Dylan. A legend's very best album. Simple as that. Why are The Beatles considered to be the best of the 60's? They never made anything that could touch this album.

9. The Bends by Radiohead. Radiohead at their most British. For once, that's not a bad thing. Although the lyrics are downbeat and depressing (one reviewer suggested that Thom Yorke would be the next rock star to kill himself after listening to this album), the music is anything but. It is the guitar album of the 90's.

10. Doolittle by The Pixies. To put it simply, music today would be very different without this album. You can hear The Pixies influence literally everywhere you go. This is their most mature, and their most fun and funny album ever.

-M

"You always be tryin' to eat somebody's burger!!"

Happy Black History Month



-Maynard

Pre-order your copy now

Avalible April 8, 2008. Go to Amazon.com to pre-order yours today ^_____^

So how's it going with you? I'm alright. So remember how I told you my mom hit a deer? No? Well, she did. And she got a loaner car from her dealer (car dealer, not drug) and she's been driving it around for like a week. Today I was driving with her downtown when all of a sudden this cop pulls up behind her and flashes his lights. We pull over and he asks for lisense and insurance, ect. She tells him the car is a loaner car until she gets her's back from repair. The cop acts as if he doesn't believe her and says "Your dealership lent you a car without registration?" Yeah, turns out they gave us an illegal car pretty much. So that was pretty wonderful. He let her go with a warning and all that. Tomorrow is the time for revenge though. Muhahaha.

Also, me and Lando might, MIGHT be moving again. We'll find out tomorrow. Only thing is, it's a lot more expensive than the place we're in now. Plus we don't have a clue where to go to get our internet turned on, or even if we can afford to have it turned on right away. Either way, this house is nice and if we get in we will probably starve to death trying to keep up the payments. So if you don't have any updates from us for awhile, you'll know that either A: We couldn't afford to get our internet on or B: We're dead.

That's it for now. Don't forget to order the damn book.

Love,
-M

Lost: The Beginning of the End

Yeee hawwwwww!! Lost is back!! I've waited so long and it didn't disappoint. Exactly. I mean, there were some things I wasn't thrilled about. Like, how was Hurley able to find Jacob's cabin so easily? That seemed cheap. But I liked it.

Now, time for my sort of review/questions that must be asked.

Hurley- It was a Hurley episode so most of the questions will be about him. Why was he able to see Jacob? Locke only caught a small glimpse of him. Locke was only able to see him because he was "special." Does this mean Hurley is special too? Even more special than Locke? The only real mystery he's had until now was the numbers. The numbers= special? The numbers = JACOB?! Probably not.Why was Hurley able to see Charlie off the island? Cause he's really crazy or... what? Wait a sec, I just remembered something. Remember when Ben told Locke that "Jacob is not a person you go see, he's a person who summons you"? It was something like that. So... Jacob wanted to see Hurley? As Hurley tried to run away, the cabin appeared in front of him once again and the door opened slowly... Jacob inviting Hurley inside for a little chat? Why is Hurley important to Jacob? The mystery deepens...

Jack- Not a lot going on on the Jack front in this episode. He was pissed at Locke. Tried to murder him. Thought about growing a beard in the future. Other than that... he was boring.

Kate- Kate is always boring, this episode was no exception.

Locke- Locke is in an odd situation. Locke knows the people coming are no good, but, well, no one is going to listen to him. He killed Naomi (sooner or later). He blew up the submarine. He blew up the hatch. History is not on his side. And neither is the future, apparently. Hurley said he should have gone with Jack, so that leads one to believe things don't turn out so great for Team Locke. I hope they don't screw Locke over. He's my favorite character but they seem to love having him fuck up.

Sawyer- What's going on here? He seems to be pretty much back to normal. Last season, near the end, he kept getting darker and darker after killing Cooper. What happened to that? Charlie's death shook him back to his senses? Lame. I want dark Sawyer back!! He was way more interesting. He did end up leaving with Locke, and thus leaving Kate behind. Good for him. He can do better.

Desmond- Not much going on with him. He told everyone about Not Penny's Boat and then kind of looked upset when Hurley told Claire about Charlie's death. I'm thinking this season will be a lot about him feeling bad about Charlie. I wonder what they're going to do about his future sight?

Sayid- Boring, as usual. Although I hear he's got some very interesting stuff coming up soon ;)

Ben- Got beat up by a woman. I can't wait til the ball's back in his court. He's one of the best villians ever, but he can't be bad ass if he's tied up and getting beaten up by women. Although he doesn't seem too worried really. Perhaps because he's... ALREADY LIVED THROUGH THIS ONCE BEFORE?!

Claire- Boring. Was it just me or did she seem only kind of upset about Charlie? I mean, she was upset, but... it seemed fake. Bad acting, perhaps?

Alright, that's it for now. It was a good first episode back and it's to my understanding that it only gets better from here. It just sucks there's only going to be 7 more episodes and then it's going off air again. Ah well, better enjoy it while we have it.

-M