Halloween Madness

Howdy kittens. Maynard here again to share with you the love.

Halloween. All those ghosts and evil spirits and shit running amok. Who needs it? I didn't even buy candy this year. When you're a kid you think Halloween is great, but once you grow up you realize what a load of shit it is. Why should I buy candy for a bunch of little fucks I don't know? Why should I throw away my hard earned money like that? I didn't. Instead me, Lando, Frankie Teardrop and Saucy Sally went to F.Y.E. They have a little girl that was running around like a maniac so they ended up leaving. They should do a better job of teaching that little girl a lesson. And by "lesson", I mean the kind with violence.

There was this fat chick there that both Lando and I had our eyes on. The chess match for that booty had begun...

See, they have this deal where if you buy two used movies you get a third for free. So that fat chick (who was still do-able) told us about the deal. Me and Lando looked at each other and started looking for some shit worth buying. We found The Lion in Winter, Audition and Memento. So it turns out I didn't have any money. Lando had to pay for it and was macking on that chick, old school. Then she slipped him a free DVD... Howling 3. So when he saw what she gave him he got all pissed. I don't blame him. Who wants that shit? We considered throwing it at some trick or treaters, but chickened out because there was more of them than there was of us.

Later, we went back to Frankie and Sally's. We were going to order some pizza's, but Frankie was too intoxicated to figure it out, so Sally and I went to Burger King, where we ordered like, 9 Whopper Jr.'s (because they're cheaper.... and we're poor) and a Whooper meal. As we were driving away the woman at the drive thru said "Enjoy your meal", to which I replied "I don't get any of these, they're all for her." Sally enjoyed that, but swore revenge.

Fuck it. Halloween is for losers.