Thanksgiving Madness

Wow!! What a day. Thanksgiving. White folks and Indians and all that. We don't care about that shit in my family. My family only cares about causing as much trouble as possible.

The day started... as soon as I woke up. I got on my Myspace to see a new message from my beloved sister, Saucy Sally. The title of this new message was "She's drinking".

...

But who could she be referring to? I'll be honest- the first thought that popped into my mind was that she was simply referring to herself in the third person. Nope. She was referring to our mother. Apparently, my mom woke up at 7:00 a.m. and started drinking. She said she was allowed to drink because it was also her birthday.

So she went to Saucy Sally's house and started... acting drunk? I dunno. The details were vague. All I got was that Sally had to kick mom out of her house and that mom was scaring Sally's children.

So that caused a commotion. Talk of people canceling Thanksgiving and all that. Lots of people mad at one another. Just like every other holiday. No big deal.

Then we had our dinner. No big deal here either. Sally has a 2 year old and they taught her to scream "No! Please, help me!!", which was very amusing to all of us for awhile.

Then came the nighttime antics. Me and Lando decided we wanted to go out. So we borrowed my moms car. We went to buy new socks. Need em' bad. Blah blah blah. We get back and there's fucking cops everywhere. We try heading into our place, minding our own business when my mom starts running up, screaming. Apparently, when we were backing out of our parking space, we hit another car. I don't remember hitting anyone, but they say they had witnesses and there was, in fact, a dent in our back bumper. So I was fucked, basically. But the cop was cool about it. He said I didn't seem like the type of guy to hit another car and then drive off on purpose. Apparently I got there just in time though, cause they said if I wasn't back by the time he finished writing the report, they'd have to file it as a hit and run and I'd be arrested. Which would have been cool, really. The dudes at work would have loved that one. But anywho... I went and said sorry to the lady who's car I hit. She acted like she fucking loved having her car hit. She was all laughing and smiling and shit. She said all she wanted was an apology. I checked out the damage to the car... turns out there was no damage to her car. I saw some marks on her bumper that looked more like dirt than anything else. My mom said she wiped the same mark and it was just dust. So basically, they called the cops for NOTHING. Our car had more damage than theirs.

But before I got there there had been a big fight or something. My mom and sister were arguing with the people. I guess they were blaming them for what I did. Some dude called my sister a nigger. Even though he himself was black... then some fat chick called my mother a smartass because my mom said I'm not the type of person so hit someone and drive away. That got everyone pissed and everyone called the cops I guess. Some Mexican dudes came out to tell everyone that they didn't see anything. Thanks for nothing, Mexicans. Then the black dude and Sally got into it. The cops had to tell them to go back to their houses and shit. The black guy almost got clubbed from what I hear. Anywho, they all seemed pretty cool when I went to apologize. No one seemed mad at all. Of course, there was nothing to be mad about since there was NO DAMAGE to their car.

Fuck them.

So I guess the question I must ask myself is this... were the socks worth it?

Yes.

-M