Me and my sister were walking to my house today and we saw these little five year old kids walking around together. One of them said, "You ready to jet, dawg? Let's do this." Then my sister got real depressed about the state of the world. I stopped caring long ago.
-M
Monday, July 27, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
WTF Thom Yorke?
Word on the street is Thom Yorke is thinking about providing music for the next Twilight film, New Moon.
What the fuck kind of shit is that?
Seriously. That's like Brian Eno providing music for Grease part two. Seriously. Gay.
It was also news to me that Radiohead's "15 Step" played over the closing credits for the first film. That just makes me want to smash my face into a cinder block. That just makes me want to throw up all over your head, sir. Why? Why are Radiohead doing this to me? This shit will not stand.
Hopefully Thom Yorke can pull his head from his ASS and just say no.
-M
What the fuck kind of shit is that?
Seriously. That's like Brian Eno providing music for Grease part two. Seriously. Gay.
It was also news to me that Radiohead's "15 Step" played over the closing credits for the first film. That just makes me want to smash my face into a cinder block. That just makes me want to throw up all over your head, sir. Why? Why are Radiohead doing this to me? This shit will not stand.
Hopefully Thom Yorke can pull his head from his ASS and just say no.
-M
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
I Feel Dirty
So there's this dude I hang out with. His name is... um... we'll call him JD. Yeah. Well, JD is married to this chick, named.... HD. HD controls JD's very existence. JD can do nothing without HD's say so. Now, this isn't exactly a terrible thing. JD isn't all that smart. He wastes his money and pulls stupid stunts all the time.
HD has this thing- she won't allow pornography in the house. So JD has this plan. He'll use me to order his porn. He'll give me the money, then I order out of some porno catalogue. From the list he gave me, he seems to like the whole MILF thing. I guess I'm supposed to just bring the porno to work with me and hand it to him there? Or do I bring it to his house? He's gonna get caught. No doubt about it. He's already been caught with pics of other girls on his phone. When HD discovered this, JD was beaten. He often gets beaten by HD. He's like a dog or something. He keeps pulling the same shit and he gets getting beaten down. He never learns. I feel like I shouldn't help him, but it's sort of funny. In a sad way.
Fuck my life?
-M
HD has this thing- she won't allow pornography in the house. So JD has this plan. He'll use me to order his porn. He'll give me the money, then I order out of some porno catalogue. From the list he gave me, he seems to like the whole MILF thing. I guess I'm supposed to just bring the porno to work with me and hand it to him there? Or do I bring it to his house? He's gonna get caught. No doubt about it. He's already been caught with pics of other girls on his phone. When HD discovered this, JD was beaten. He often gets beaten by HD. He's like a dog or something. He keeps pulling the same shit and he gets getting beaten down. He never learns. I feel like I shouldn't help him, but it's sort of funny. In a sad way.
Fuck my life?
-M
Why Japan is Awesome
This is why Japan rules. PETA can fuck itself, as far as Japan is concerned. So can people who don't like tentacle porn. Fuck EVERYBODY.
-M
Monday, July 6, 2009
The Ballad of Black Tony
Hey dudes. Maynard here. Haven't written in awhile. I seem to sleep less and less these days... :(
Anywho, so I'll tell you more about Black Tony. This one time he told us how he and his friends would play in junkyards when he was a kid. They would find used syringes and fill them with water and spray them at each other.
Then he and his friends would cut the tops off the cars of drug dealers, so the drug dealers would look like they have convertibles. Then they would take the car tops down to a creek and float down it.
The end.
-M
Anywho, so I'll tell you more about Black Tony. This one time he told us how he and his friends would play in junkyards when he was a kid. They would find used syringes and fill them with water and spray them at each other.
Then he and his friends would cut the tops off the cars of drug dealers, so the drug dealers would look like they have convertibles. Then they would take the car tops down to a creek and float down it.
The end.
-M
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
