Look!!
-M
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Super Updates
Time for some updates to let everyone know what's going on.
First off- holy fucking shit my back hurts. I hurt it about a month ago at work. I thought it was getting better, but then I woke up today. I feel like an 80 year old man.
How about them Colts, eh? 9-0 so far. Peyton Manning deserves to get his fourth MVP award for this season. With that in mind, what do you think the odds are he actually gets it? Pretty slim I think. I'm betting they give it to Favre. Or Brees. Oh, did you know Drew Brees mom committed suicide? That was a bit of a surprise for me. Also- Jim Caldwell = Coach of the year.
Lost comes back Feb. 2nd. Just thought I'd let you know.
Is it just me, or is someone singing along to the radio the most annoying thing in the world? You know, besides, like... kids starving or something.
Man, my back REALLY hurts.
It's late November and 60 degrees outside. Al Gore was right?
I think if I ever met Glenn Beck in person, I'd spit in his face. I've very rarely hated anyone as much as I hate that guy.
Alright, I'm gonna watch the game now. So fuck off. Fuck off my site.
-M
First off- holy fucking shit my back hurts. I hurt it about a month ago at work. I thought it was getting better, but then I woke up today. I feel like an 80 year old man.
How about them Colts, eh? 9-0 so far. Peyton Manning deserves to get his fourth MVP award for this season. With that in mind, what do you think the odds are he actually gets it? Pretty slim I think. I'm betting they give it to Favre. Or Brees. Oh, did you know Drew Brees mom committed suicide? That was a bit of a surprise for me. Also- Jim Caldwell = Coach of the year.
Lost comes back Feb. 2nd. Just thought I'd let you know.
Is it just me, or is someone singing along to the radio the most annoying thing in the world? You know, besides, like... kids starving or something.
Man, my back REALLY hurts.
It's late November and 60 degrees outside. Al Gore was right?
I think if I ever met Glenn Beck in person, I'd spit in his face. I've very rarely hated anyone as much as I hate that guy.
Alright, I'm gonna watch the game now. So fuck off. Fuck off my site.
-M
Saturday, November 21, 2009
I'm Depressed
"Do you know how many people saw The Assassination of Jesse James?…You and seven other people. Paul Blart grossed nearly $200 million worldwide. I’ll take Paul Blart all day, every day."
-–Producer/financier Ryan Kavanaugh
Where the Wild Things Are 5 week total- 73.9 million
Twilight: New Moon one day total- 72.7 million
Did you know The Godfather was a huge hit when it came out? If that same movie were released today it wouldn't gross 20 million.
The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan were all great artistic and commercial successes in their heyday. Now, we have Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus ruling the music scene. It's disgusting. And the worst part is that no one gives a fuck anymore. The populace is force fed garbage and we just gobble it up. It didn't use to be this way. Quality used to be rewarded. Not anymore. The worse something is, the more people love it.
What are the odds we'll ever see another movie as simple and brilliant as Dog Day Afternoon? A two hour movie set in a bank. It didn't need any CGI or any shit like that. Just a perfectly written script and acting (how awesome was Pacino in that movie?) And that movie was a hit and got nominated for a bunch of Oscars (that was back when an Oscar meant something). You could still make that movie. I'm not saying that our entertainment is terrible these days. I'm saying no one cares about quality. There Will Be Blood should have made about 8x more than it did. I guess the only thing that makes me feel better about this stuff is that I know one day people will look back at this Twilight garbage and think "Why did I ever like that stuff?", but something like, say, Old Boy or Let the Right One In (why can't people get obsessed over that vampire movie?) will live on. Because the best of our culture almost always raises to the top over time. It just takes people a lot longer these days to appreciate great art.
To quote Brian Wilson, I just wasn't made for these times.
To quote Jeff Daniels in The Squid and the Whale, people can be very stupid.
-M
-–Producer/financier Ryan Kavanaugh
Where the Wild Things Are 5 week total- 73.9 million
Twilight: New Moon one day total- 72.7 million
Did you know The Godfather was a huge hit when it came out? If that same movie were released today it wouldn't gross 20 million.
The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Bob Dylan were all great artistic and commercial successes in their heyday. Now, we have Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus ruling the music scene. It's disgusting. And the worst part is that no one gives a fuck anymore. The populace is force fed garbage and we just gobble it up. It didn't use to be this way. Quality used to be rewarded. Not anymore. The worse something is, the more people love it.
What are the odds we'll ever see another movie as simple and brilliant as Dog Day Afternoon? A two hour movie set in a bank. It didn't need any CGI or any shit like that. Just a perfectly written script and acting (how awesome was Pacino in that movie?) And that movie was a hit and got nominated for a bunch of Oscars (that was back when an Oscar meant something). You could still make that movie. I'm not saying that our entertainment is terrible these days. I'm saying no one cares about quality. There Will Be Blood should have made about 8x more than it did. I guess the only thing that makes me feel better about this stuff is that I know one day people will look back at this Twilight garbage and think "Why did I ever like that stuff?", but something like, say, Old Boy or Let the Right One In (why can't people get obsessed over that vampire movie?) will live on. Because the best of our culture almost always raises to the top over time. It just takes people a lot longer these days to appreciate great art.
To quote Brian Wilson, I just wasn't made for these times.
To quote Jeff Daniels in The Squid and the Whale, people can be very stupid.
-M
Friday, November 20, 2009
Cracked on Twilight
I read this earlier on Cracked, thought I'd share. Here ya go.
In Twilight, a boring-ass twitchy girl named Bella falls in love with a shiny vampire named Edward. And for some reason not explained by the movie, he loves her back. So just be your clumsy, mouth-breathing selves ladies. Someday, if you're skinny enough, someone exotic will love you for just being "you."
And How Does This Hate Women?
Take the vampirism from this movie and all you're left with is Ike and Tina right before Tina refuses to eat the cake. Edward stomps, broods, sneers and snidely tells his love interest to fuck off, but that's just the forbidden fruit angle Bella needs to stand around like a dumbass waiting for her stalker/boyfriend to confess his love/violent lust for her tasty blood. He'll confess a few MURDERS while he's at it. Bella sees his murderous lust and raises him a dead-eyed vacant stare and the flippant assurance that he'd never hurt her. This entire movie is one black-eyed-teen away from being a PSA from 1989.
EDWARD CULLEN
I've killed people before.
ISABELLA SWAN
It does not matter.
EDWARD CULLEN
I wanted to kill you at first. I've never wanted a human's blood so much, before.
ISABELLA SWAN
I trust you.
Any girl with the self-esteem of a shoe would call it a day right there. And the next time a Cracked intern with a violent boyfriend hobbles into the office on a broken leg with a cockamamie story about falling down the stairs, then out the window, we're going to believe her. Thanks, Twilight.
-L
In Twilight, a boring-ass twitchy girl named Bella falls in love with a shiny vampire named Edward. And for some reason not explained by the movie, he loves her back. So just be your clumsy, mouth-breathing selves ladies. Someday, if you're skinny enough, someone exotic will love you for just being "you."
And How Does This Hate Women?
Take the vampirism from this movie and all you're left with is Ike and Tina right before Tina refuses to eat the cake. Edward stomps, broods, sneers and snidely tells his love interest to fuck off, but that's just the forbidden fruit angle Bella needs to stand around like a dumbass waiting for her stalker/boyfriend to confess his love/violent lust for her tasty blood. He'll confess a few MURDERS while he's at it. Bella sees his murderous lust and raises him a dead-eyed vacant stare and the flippant assurance that he'd never hurt her. This entire movie is one black-eyed-teen away from being a PSA from 1989.
EDWARD CULLEN
I've killed people before.
ISABELLA SWAN
It does not matter.
EDWARD CULLEN
I wanted to kill you at first. I've never wanted a human's blood so much, before.
ISABELLA SWAN
I trust you.
Any girl with the self-esteem of a shoe would call it a day right there. And the next time a Cracked intern with a violent boyfriend hobbles into the office on a broken leg with a cockamamie story about falling down the stairs, then out the window, we're going to believe her. Thanks, Twilight.
-L
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
DL's Face
So I have this friend at work. Well, you know. Not really a friend. Like, we don't hang out or nothin'. But we talk at work sometimes. I'll call him DL. So DL had to go to jail for awhile. For pot possession. Then he just got out a little over a month ago. Then he came back to work, but disappeared after just a week. We were all making fun of him for not being able to cut it after getting fucked while in prison, and joked that he probably died. But see, that's really just how we joke. We're not bad people. We would never wish for that to really happen to anyone. Just harmless fun.
So then I found out he got hit by a car and was in the hospital for a long time. He claims to have died twice. He cracked his skull on the pavement. Now half of his face doesn't work. Also, his tear ducts are all fucked up and the left side of his face, so sometimes bloody tears leak out.
So... sorry DL. I don't know if I somehow caused this to happen because I have powers probably... so, sorry.
-M
So then I found out he got hit by a car and was in the hospital for a long time. He claims to have died twice. He cracked his skull on the pavement. Now half of his face doesn't work. Also, his tear ducts are all fucked up and the left side of his face, so sometimes bloody tears leak out.
So... sorry DL. I don't know if I somehow caused this to happen because I have powers probably... so, sorry.
-M
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Top Ten: Movies of the Decade
That time of the decade, folks. Best of the Decade lists and such. Starting off with my lists of the best movies from this decade.
10. Master and Commander
9. I Heart Huckabee's
8. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
7. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
6. There Will Be Blood
5. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
4. Punch-Drunk Love
3. City of God
2. The Royal Tenenbaums
1. Lost in Translation
Also rans: Wall-E, Up, Where the Wild Things Are, Memento, The Squid and the Whale, Let the Right One In
10. Master and Commander
9. I Heart Huckabee's
8. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
7. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
6. There Will Be Blood
5. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
4. Punch-Drunk Love
3. City of God
2. The Royal Tenenbaums
1. Lost in Translation
Also rans: Wall-E, Up, Where the Wild Things Are, Memento, The Squid and the Whale, Let the Right One In
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
