Jim (the ongoing struggle)

Hello dear ones. Maynard here with more Tales from Beyond.

So I know this man. A man I will call "Jim", because that's his name. Jim is many things. A bad parent, a bad friend, a bad boss, ect. I first met him through my dad. They know each other, somehow. Jim used to be a cook or something, but he always complains about how much he hates cooking. But then he brags about how great he is at it. Plus he's always getting sick, and then bragging about how he has never died from an illness. Neither have I, jackass. And he's small and has grubby little hands. Jim has become something of a tutor to me. It turns out there's some things me aren't so smart at. And I'll give him some credit, he sures knows how to cheat and read out of books and learn how to do those things, and then teach them to me like he knew how to do it all along. He's almost a master at it. I think I am probably better at it though, because I would go in another room and do it, whereas he likes to do it right in front me. But whatever.

So yesterday Jim decided he was moving, and he decided I must be awesome at it, cause he heard about how I helped that chick move (I guess he either didn't hear or didn't care that I broke her table). So I wake up and head on over to his place, and, like that chick, he decided against packing. What's wrong with these people? So we barrow these lesbians truck...well, actually it's my dad's truck, but he gave it to me, but they barrowed it and haven't gotten a new car yet, so it's still my truck but I never get to use it. Anyways. So we start packing when his 10 year old kids show up and decide they're going to help. Except they don't help, they just get in the way and fight and scream all the time, and that in turn gets Jim screaming and yelling, which in turn causes his old mother to start screaming and all that stuff. I don't like screaming. It rattles my nerves and makes me jumpy. So I really wanted to get out of there, but he promised me money (which I later learned meant "five dollars"), so I worked with him, slowly, for 8 hours. And his dumb friend showed up and started telling all these bad jokes. Like these chicks came up and started talking about how nice Jim's new house is, and how their house is a "caddyshack", which caused Jim's friend to say "Does Chevy Chase and Bill Murray live there?" They didn't get the joke. I laughed, but in more of a "you're pathetic" way. Plus he was bald on top, but had an 80's ponytail. And his son was there, but they didn't look a thing like each other.

Anyways, I totally didn't go back to help him today like I said I would. I am thinking of, you know, pretending I died, and I can just avoid him for awhile. Because of how annoying he is. He is forcing me to do this!!

Screw it. You guys don't know shit anyways.

-M