Because I really, reallly like Scarlett Johansson's cover of Tom Waits "Falling Down", a song which is been pretty much universally panned everywhere I've looked. I've listened to it like five times now and it really is my favorite song so far this year. I'm not a fan of actors turned singers either guys, but this song rules. So what if she sounds like Nico? You know who else sounded like Nico? Nico. And last time I checked that didn't bother most people. Really, the vocals for this song go absolutely perfectly with the music and the mood it creates.
Now one thing I really will agree on is that the video kind of sucks. It looks too much like Lost in Translation (because it has Asian people), and I guess it goes well enough with the song, but the first thing I thought of when I saw the video was that she was trying to remind everyone of her best movie. But I quickly forgot about that and got right back into the song.
I know I'll never convince the people who hate it to change their minds and I'm not too bothered really. I know this is a good song. And hey, David Bowie thought it was good enough to lend his vocals too as well. So suck it.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Text Messages
Ok so here is the deal i just got like 4 text messages on my cell phone from some random chick i dont know and i thought i would share them with you i hope you injoy
Message 1:y dud u want2 fuck me lastnite if you cared somuch bout her im not tryin 2 b a smartass imjust askin u do u want 2 again or was lastnite it?
Message 2:if u care so much bout her y did u fuck me? i liked just bein with u b4 we even done anything
Message 3:i just do i did b4 we fucked
Message 4:sorry wrong no.
thats the end of it im so happy i could cry i have met a chick that i know is a slut and i also have her number now because she is also so dumb that she did not check who she was texting
she will be hearing from me very soon ;)
-Lando
Message 1:y dud u want2 fuck me lastnite if you cared somuch bout her im not tryin 2 b a smartass imjust askin u do u want 2 again or was lastnite it?
Message 2:if u care so much bout her y did u fuck me? i liked just bein with u b4 we even done anything
Message 3:i just do i did b4 we fucked
Message 4:sorry wrong no.
thats the end of it im so happy i could cry i have met a chick that i know is a slut and i also have her number now because she is also so dumb that she did not check who she was texting
she will be hearing from me very soon ;)
-Lando
Friday, April 25, 2008
Lost: Top Ten Questions
Lost was finally back last night and gave us, in my opinion, the best episode of the season. As always, they gave us plenty of answers but added plenty of new questions. Time to play- Lost: Top Ten Questions. For season four. So far.
1. So Lost is now The Ben Show? That's not a bad thing really, it's just I miss when Locke was awesome. Now he seems to be just another follower of Ben. But as least they made Ben awesome.
2. So Ben can control Smokey? Or can he only call him? If he can control him, does that mean he had the pilot and Eko killed? If he can only call it- why? And how?
3. So Ben wants to kill Penny? Wonder how Desmond will feel about that.
4. I wonder if Desmond will even know about it. No word yet on whether or not he ever gets off the island.
5. I don't like what they're doing with Sawyer. ...that's not a question. Why are they doing this to Sawyer? That's better.
As I've already said before, I loved what they did with Sawyer at the end of last year. He had finally killed Cooper but it didn't bring him peace. In fact, he was in a worse place than ever before. Dark Sawyer was one of the most interesting plot lines introduced at the end of last season. Now he's gone. Now he's all, "You alright, sweetheart?" and threatening to kill Locke if Hurley gets hurt. LAME. Plus I don't like how they're kind of going about this whole romance with Sawyer and Claire.
6. Is it just me, or has this been Sayid's best season ever? I always used to find him boring but this season I'm actually interested when he's on screen. Too bad about Nadia though. Although I have to admit he seemed a lot more upset when Shannon died and he only knew that bitch for like a month and a half.
7. "Changing the rules", eh? Ben and Widmore seem to be treating this like a big game. I figure it's got to be the whole time travel thing again. I think that's why Ben seemed so shocked when Alex actually died. He'd done this before and it never turned out that way. That may be a bit of a stretch but we'll see.
8. I wonder who killed the Doctor? He had his throat cut and all. Michael? Sayid? The Captain? And why?
9. What could Jacob possibly tell Locke or Ben or Hurley to help them out? I still expect something very bad to happen in the next few episodes involving these three. Hurley did say in his flash forward that it was a mistake to go with Locke. I wonder if he means because of the attack on the compound or something else?
10. I really hope Daniel and Miles lives through this season. Again, not a question... I wonder if Daniel and Miles will live through this season. They have so much to offer but because of this seasons extremely fast pace there hasn't been a whole lot of time to develop these two (especially not Miles). I hope they make it to next year and get some flashbacks.
There you have it. Answers these questions now or ask your own.
-Maynard
1. So Lost is now The Ben Show? That's not a bad thing really, it's just I miss when Locke was awesome. Now he seems to be just another follower of Ben. But as least they made Ben awesome.
2. So Ben can control Smokey? Or can he only call him? If he can control him, does that mean he had the pilot and Eko killed? If he can only call it- why? And how?
3. So Ben wants to kill Penny? Wonder how Desmond will feel about that.
4. I wonder if Desmond will even know about it. No word yet on whether or not he ever gets off the island.
5. I don't like what they're doing with Sawyer. ...that's not a question. Why are they doing this to Sawyer? That's better.
As I've already said before, I loved what they did with Sawyer at the end of last year. He had finally killed Cooper but it didn't bring him peace. In fact, he was in a worse place than ever before. Dark Sawyer was one of the most interesting plot lines introduced at the end of last season. Now he's gone. Now he's all, "You alright, sweetheart?" and threatening to kill Locke if Hurley gets hurt. LAME. Plus I don't like how they're kind of going about this whole romance with Sawyer and Claire.
6. Is it just me, or has this been Sayid's best season ever? I always used to find him boring but this season I'm actually interested when he's on screen. Too bad about Nadia though. Although I have to admit he seemed a lot more upset when Shannon died and he only knew that bitch for like a month and a half.
7. "Changing the rules", eh? Ben and Widmore seem to be treating this like a big game. I figure it's got to be the whole time travel thing again. I think that's why Ben seemed so shocked when Alex actually died. He'd done this before and it never turned out that way. That may be a bit of a stretch but we'll see.
8. I wonder who killed the Doctor? He had his throat cut and all. Michael? Sayid? The Captain? And why?
9. What could Jacob possibly tell Locke or Ben or Hurley to help them out? I still expect something very bad to happen in the next few episodes involving these three. Hurley did say in his flash forward that it was a mistake to go with Locke. I wonder if he means because of the attack on the compound or something else?
10. I really hope Daniel and Miles lives through this season. Again, not a question... I wonder if Daniel and Miles will live through this season. They have so much to offer but because of this seasons extremely fast pace there hasn't been a whole lot of time to develop these two (especially not Miles). I hope they make it to next year and get some flashbacks.
There you have it. Answers these questions now or ask your own.
-Maynard
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Aw, man, Weezer. Really?
This is rumored to be the cover for Weezer's new album, entitled "Weezer". They've had three albums now called Weezer. One of them was actually good (The Blue Album). I mean, doesn't this look like a fucking joke (which it might be)?
So what happened to these guys? Remember when they were awesome? The Blue Album and Pinkerton were pretty awesome anyways. Then they disappeared for like five years and when they came back they sounded exhausted. After FIVE YEARS!! Then they kept coming out with albums that only seemed to get worse and worse. Rivers Cuomo is one of the most notoriously eccentric characters in all of rock music, but why does his music sound so boring and lifeless now? It seems like Weezer doesn't make albums any more. They just make collections of songs that seem to make a shapeless whole. It's sad what has become of these guys.
-M
Friday, April 18, 2008
NBA Playoffs predictions
Out West-
Lakers(1) over the Nuggets(8) in 5 games.
Hornets(2) over the Mavericks(7) in 6 games.
Spurs(3) over the Suns(6) in 6 games.
Jazz(4) over the Rockets(5) in 6 games (poor, poor McGrady).
Out East (ugh...)
Celtics(1) over the Hawks(8) in 4 games
Pistons(2) over the 76ers(7) in 5 games.
Magic(3) over the Raptors(6) in 5 games.
Cavs(4) over the Wizards(5) in 6 games.
I'm thinking Celtics vs. Spurs in the Finals still... I think the Celtics might actually win it. Whoever wins the West will go to the Finals completely exhausted. Celtics probably won't have much of a challenge from anyone out East except for the Pistons and I don't see that match up going more than 6 games anyways... I'll say Celtics vs. Spurs with the Celtics winning in 6.
Lakers(1) over the Nuggets(8) in 5 games.
Hornets(2) over the Mavericks(7) in 6 games.
Spurs(3) over the Suns(6) in 6 games.
Jazz(4) over the Rockets(5) in 6 games (poor, poor McGrady).
Out East (ugh...)
Celtics(1) over the Hawks(8) in 4 games
Pistons(2) over the 76ers(7) in 5 games.
Magic(3) over the Raptors(6) in 5 games.
Cavs(4) over the Wizards(5) in 6 games.
I'm thinking Celtics vs. Spurs in the Finals still... I think the Celtics might actually win it. Whoever wins the West will go to the Finals completely exhausted. Celtics probably won't have much of a challenge from anyone out East except for the Pistons and I don't see that match up going more than 6 games anyways... I'll say Celtics vs. Spurs with the Celtics winning in 6.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Cat Wars: The terrible outcome
So the good guys won. YEAH!! But, wouldn't you know it, turns out the leaders of the good cats were corrupt. They fought for a just cause, but once their enemies were vanquished, they had power beyond belief. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Hedonists.
So you know what this means. Gotta do some more Cat Wars. The old good guys have turned to wickedness and their old workers have taken up the cause to either convert them or destroy them.
Now we can keep this going forever.
Hedonists.
So you know what this means. Gotta do some more Cat Wars. The old good guys have turned to wickedness and their old workers have taken up the cause to either convert them or destroy them.
Now we can keep this going forever.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Champions Elect?
What a day for Bada, he will tell it how it is.
Manchester United v Arsenal, probably the biggest game of the season so far. Must win for both teams for different reasons. United knowing a win would be needed to close in on the title especially with Chelsea on there asses. A loss or draw for Arsenal would surely end there title hopes even though it was still mathematically possible.
Table before the game: The title contenders. ^_^
Manchester United Played 33 Points 77
Chelsea Played 33 Points 74
Arsenal Played 33 Points 71
People who are not familiar with football, 20 teams, each team plays 38 games, 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw and 0 points for a loss.
The game:
Arsenal started off all guns blazing, they knew they had to win to be honest. They dominated the first half to be honest. I was still quietly confident though my team would get the job done. ;)
13th minute. Eboue runs down the wing for Arsenal and crosses it on a plate for Adebayor, i'm thinking surely a goal for Arsenal, Oh what's this FERDINAND with a saving block, what a block, what a defender.
23rd minute. What a ball from Evra to Ronaldo, seriously what a beauty of a ball, Ronaldo in behind Arsenal, cuts it back for Rooney, COME ON ROONEY!! but oh no Lehmann saves. He got lucky to be honest.
35th minute. BEST CHANCE YET. Hleb plays it through to Adebayor. Adebayor one on one with Van Der Sar, surely a goal for Arsenal. Tame shot by Adebayor, easy save for Van Der Sar. MUHAHA.
36th minute. Long kick out from Van Der Sar, Arsenal can't defend if there lives depended on it. Rooney through one on one with Lehmann, with about 3 Arsenal defenders chasing him. Rooney shoots and Lehamnn saves with his leg and trickles just past the post. SO CLOSE.
Half Time: I think Fergie used the hair dryer to be honest. United couldn't be any poorer. Bring on the second half.
48th minute. Disaster struck. Fabregas played in a freekick, it fizzled out to the wing to Van Persie who then crossed the ball into Adebayor 2 yards out. Guess what? He uses his hand to put the ball in the net. I went ballistic. Screaming at the tv YOU FUCKING CHEATER NIGGER!! You used your fucking hand!! Do your job properly REFEREE!! At this point my remote control went flying across the floor.
51st minute. Things nearly got worse for my team. The ball was whipped in and it hit off Ferdinands foot, was heading into the corner. 2-0 at home would be disaster. Van Der Sar pulls off a great save.
52nd minute. How things can suddenly change so dramatically. Carrick plays a hopeful ball back into the box and it hits off of Gallas hand in the box. PENALTY, IT WAS A FUCKING PENALTY. The referee obviously heard me and pointed to the penalty spot. So King Ronaldo v Lehmann. Would you bet against Ronaldo missing? I think not. Cool, calm and collective he steps up, does a little shuffle. BANG left hand side GOAL!! no chance for Lehmann. Oh no, penalty has to get retaken, fucking idiots ran in the box before the ball was struck. Take 2. Ronaldo v Lehmann again. Ronaldo steps up! BANG!! left hand side again GOAL!! 1-1 game on. The ground goes ballistic. Chants of VIVA RONALDO starts.
68th minute. Clichy runs down the wing and fires the ball across, it hits off of Brown, i was thinking SHIT own goal, thankfully it hits the post. Close escape. At this time i am sweating like an African.
71st minute. I think Evra thinks he is a striker, plays the ball into Rooney, surely this time Rooney. NO again, Lehamnn denies Rooney. GET YOUR FUCKING SHOOTING BOOTS ON!
71st minute and a bit. Free kick to United. 26 yards out or something. The stage is set up for Ronaldo. What's this? Owen Hargreaves places the ball down. I felt confident. Hargreaves curls it into the corner GOAL!! 2-1 United!!! I went beserk, i was singing really loud, my neighbours probably thought i was drunk. What a beauty of a freekick. Take a bow Hargreaves. Come back kings.
90th minute. Fabregas powers a freekick into the back post, where the fuck is the marking!! Bendter(yes that's his name)lol. Headers it at the near post. Oh shit, it's going to be a fucking goal! NO Van Der Sar, what a save!! you sonofagun!!
GAME OVER!!
What a game. My heart was pounding, now i can insult Arsenal fans. I'm going to brag so bad. :) I just love it, when people get proved wrong. Arsene Wenger said earlier on in the week that his team would win the title. :) how wrong was he. ;)
Manchester United Played 34 Points 80
Chelsea Played 33 Points 74
Arsenal Played 34 Points 71
Two more wins for Manchester United, the later game being against Chelsea, and they'll be back to back Champions again. :)
Old Trafford is rocking of chants from Viva Ronaldo.
-Bada.
Manchester United v Arsenal, probably the biggest game of the season so far. Must win for both teams for different reasons. United knowing a win would be needed to close in on the title especially with Chelsea on there asses. A loss or draw for Arsenal would surely end there title hopes even though it was still mathematically possible.
Table before the game: The title contenders. ^_^
Manchester United Played 33 Points 77
Chelsea Played 33 Points 74
Arsenal Played 33 Points 71
People who are not familiar with football, 20 teams, each team plays 38 games, 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw and 0 points for a loss.
The game:
Arsenal started off all guns blazing, they knew they had to win to be honest. They dominated the first half to be honest. I was still quietly confident though my team would get the job done. ;)
13th minute. Eboue runs down the wing for Arsenal and crosses it on a plate for Adebayor, i'm thinking surely a goal for Arsenal, Oh what's this FERDINAND with a saving block, what a block, what a defender.
23rd minute. What a ball from Evra to Ronaldo, seriously what a beauty of a ball, Ronaldo in behind Arsenal, cuts it back for Rooney, COME ON ROONEY!! but oh no Lehmann saves. He got lucky to be honest.
35th minute. BEST CHANCE YET. Hleb plays it through to Adebayor. Adebayor one on one with Van Der Sar, surely a goal for Arsenal. Tame shot by Adebayor, easy save for Van Der Sar. MUHAHA.
36th minute. Long kick out from Van Der Sar, Arsenal can't defend if there lives depended on it. Rooney through one on one with Lehmann, with about 3 Arsenal defenders chasing him. Rooney shoots and Lehamnn saves with his leg and trickles just past the post. SO CLOSE.
Half Time: I think Fergie used the hair dryer to be honest. United couldn't be any poorer. Bring on the second half.
48th minute. Disaster struck. Fabregas played in a freekick, it fizzled out to the wing to Van Persie who then crossed the ball into Adebayor 2 yards out. Guess what? He uses his hand to put the ball in the net. I went ballistic. Screaming at the tv YOU FUCKING CHEATER NIGGER!! You used your fucking hand!! Do your job properly REFEREE!! At this point my remote control went flying across the floor.
51st minute. Things nearly got worse for my team. The ball was whipped in and it hit off Ferdinands foot, was heading into the corner. 2-0 at home would be disaster. Van Der Sar pulls off a great save.
52nd minute. How things can suddenly change so dramatically. Carrick plays a hopeful ball back into the box and it hits off of Gallas hand in the box. PENALTY, IT WAS A FUCKING PENALTY. The referee obviously heard me and pointed to the penalty spot. So King Ronaldo v Lehmann. Would you bet against Ronaldo missing? I think not. Cool, calm and collective he steps up, does a little shuffle. BANG left hand side GOAL!! no chance for Lehmann. Oh no, penalty has to get retaken, fucking idiots ran in the box before the ball was struck. Take 2. Ronaldo v Lehmann again. Ronaldo steps up! BANG!! left hand side again GOAL!! 1-1 game on. The ground goes ballistic. Chants of VIVA RONALDO starts.
68th minute. Clichy runs down the wing and fires the ball across, it hits off of Brown, i was thinking SHIT own goal, thankfully it hits the post. Close escape. At this time i am sweating like an African.
71st minute. I think Evra thinks he is a striker, plays the ball into Rooney, surely this time Rooney. NO again, Lehamnn denies Rooney. GET YOUR FUCKING SHOOTING BOOTS ON!
71st minute and a bit. Free kick to United. 26 yards out or something. The stage is set up for Ronaldo. What's this? Owen Hargreaves places the ball down. I felt confident. Hargreaves curls it into the corner GOAL!! 2-1 United!!! I went beserk, i was singing really loud, my neighbours probably thought i was drunk. What a beauty of a freekick. Take a bow Hargreaves. Come back kings.
90th minute. Fabregas powers a freekick into the back post, where the fuck is the marking!! Bendter(yes that's his name)lol. Headers it at the near post. Oh shit, it's going to be a fucking goal! NO Van Der Sar, what a save!! you sonofagun!!
GAME OVER!!
What a game. My heart was pounding, now i can insult Arsenal fans. I'm going to brag so bad. :) I just love it, when people get proved wrong. Arsene Wenger said earlier on in the week that his team would win the title. :) how wrong was he. ;)
Manchester United Played 34 Points 80
Chelsea Played 33 Points 74
Arsenal Played 34 Points 71
Two more wins for Manchester United, the later game being against Chelsea, and they'll be back to back Champions again. :)
Old Trafford is rocking of chants from Viva Ronaldo.
-Bada.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Flashback Vol. 2
Maynard started doing flashbacks so i thought i would make one as well about the old days back in first grade
let me start off by saying this o_O my life was great. i had everything. all kinds of friends who were willing to do anything i asked at any time. but this story will let you know of the truth about Lando's past and why he is the way he is.
i was just like any other kid. i loved playing and i hated school. i hated it but somehow i kept doing great. let me explain this shit hardcore. when i was in first grade, i would always bring home all kinds of awards. ribbons, fucking little bulldog things they'd give you if you did stuff, special erasers and pencils. this was going on ALL school year and everyone was so proud of me. the only thing was, i didn't do any school work. i would just hide it in my desk or in my back pack and forget about it. it was a great scam. i was getting the best grades of my life. sadly, i learned nothing. that's why me no smart no more :(
i cannot be held completely responsible. the teacher was an idiot and didn't even notice that i had done absolutely no school work. so i thought to myself "sure. why not?" and i got away with it for an entire year pretty much, until the last day of school. me and my teacher were cleaning out my desk and she noticed a years worth of school work not turned in or even completed. but everytime we had an assignment and i didn't feel like doing it or got bored with it i'd just walk up to her and ask her if i could do it later and she'd always say yes, so it's her fault mostly.
"what is THIS?!" she asked. and then she made me do SOME of it. like, 2 pages of it. but it was worth it. kind of. i mean... part of me wishes i had learned something that year... i can't do math too well... but who cares? cause now i run one of the hottest blogs on the internets and get paid the big money. factory work, mostly.
shit. i should have told the story about how i led a strike in pre-school. next time. next time...
-Lando
let me start off by saying this o_O my life was great. i had everything. all kinds of friends who were willing to do anything i asked at any time. but this story will let you know of the truth about Lando's past and why he is the way he is.
i was just like any other kid. i loved playing and i hated school. i hated it but somehow i kept doing great. let me explain this shit hardcore. when i was in first grade, i would always bring home all kinds of awards. ribbons, fucking little bulldog things they'd give you if you did stuff, special erasers and pencils. this was going on ALL school year and everyone was so proud of me. the only thing was, i didn't do any school work. i would just hide it in my desk or in my back pack and forget about it. it was a great scam. i was getting the best grades of my life. sadly, i learned nothing. that's why me no smart no more :(
i cannot be held completely responsible. the teacher was an idiot and didn't even notice that i had done absolutely no school work. so i thought to myself "sure. why not?" and i got away with it for an entire year pretty much, until the last day of school. me and my teacher were cleaning out my desk and she noticed a years worth of school work not turned in or even completed. but everytime we had an assignment and i didn't feel like doing it or got bored with it i'd just walk up to her and ask her if i could do it later and she'd always say yes, so it's her fault mostly.
"what is THIS?!" she asked. and then she made me do SOME of it. like, 2 pages of it. but it was worth it. kind of. i mean... part of me wishes i had learned something that year... i can't do math too well... but who cares? cause now i run one of the hottest blogs on the internets and get paid the big money. factory work, mostly.
shit. i should have told the story about how i led a strike in pre-school. next time. next time...
-Lando
U.S.A!! U.S.A!!
Pounding Punches - Watch more free videos
I saw this fight a few months ago and have been looking for it forever. This is just the beginning of it, but it's the best part. The American ended up winning.
-M
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Flashback Vol. 1
Hey. You know Lost? Pretty much my favorite show. So we decided to copy them for a new thing we got going here. You know how in each episode they have a flashback* to let you know how each character became the way they are? We're gonna do that. We're going to start telling stories from our pasts to let you Maynard and Lando-holics get to know why we are the way we are.
I'll start off with one of my all time favorite memories. This one comes from almost 20 years ago when I was in kindergarden. It was actually the last day of school, if memory serves. You know how on the last day of school they usually just send you outside and let you play games and run obstacle courses and whatnot? Yeah, that's what we were doing. I'm not going to lie to you guys- I was doing great. Running around, chasing the dream and getting checked out by all the babes to boot.
So the teachers decide it's time for the three legged race. I get paired up with some moron who I can't even remember. They tie our legs together and all that. Now, if I had been able to run the race alone, there's no doubt in my mind I'd have destroyed the CHUMPetition. But since I was paired up with this complete loser I was less than hopeful. I knew in my heart of hearts this guy was not a winner. He couldn't win. If I was going to get that blue ribbon, I'd have to take matters into my own hands. Put the burden on my own back and carry us to Glory.
Over the past few months I think I've portrayed myself pretty accurately on this blog (except for the fact that I don't even use my real name), so I think, if you've read this for awhile, you should know me well enough to know what comes next. The whistle blew and off I went.
Right off the bat, the idiot I was paired up with fell down. No surprise there. But it still didn't stop me from screaming at him. "GET UP!! GET UP!!" I yelled, even though I gave him absolutely no chance to get up, seeing as how I was dragging him across the field. I frantically looked around and saw many of the other children had fallen to the ground as well. "Good", I thought, "maybe we're not out of this thing yet. I've got to THINK!!"
But the only thing I could think of was to continue screaming at the kid, which I did with gusto. He was crab-crawling on the ground saying "I CAN'T!! STOP!! LET ME GET UP!!" What an idiot this kid was. So I just gritted my teeth and pushed ahead with everything I had.
I could see I had some competition from two other teams. We were neck and neck and they both had their partner actually helping them. It was champion time. Glory time.
Dragging that sorry bastard behind me, I fought my way to victory. WE HAD WON!! Or should I say, I had won, even though my partner did all he could to lose. My older sister came running up from nowhere and celebrated with me as I got my blue ribbon. Although I noticed the teachers made a terrible mistake by giving my partner a blue ribbon as well, instead of giving me two blue ribbons. I did the work of two people and still won, so I think it would only be fair for me to get both blue ribbons. Like I said, I can't remember that kid's name or even what he looks like, but if I ever see him again I might just lose my shit and hurt somebody.
Okay, so there you have it. My first flashback. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and I hope this helps to shed a little light on what makes me tick.
-Maynard
*Yes, I realize they also use flashforwards now too.
I'll start off with one of my all time favorite memories. This one comes from almost 20 years ago when I was in kindergarden. It was actually the last day of school, if memory serves. You know how on the last day of school they usually just send you outside and let you play games and run obstacle courses and whatnot? Yeah, that's what we were doing. I'm not going to lie to you guys- I was doing great. Running around, chasing the dream and getting checked out by all the babes to boot.
So the teachers decide it's time for the three legged race. I get paired up with some moron who I can't even remember. They tie our legs together and all that. Now, if I had been able to run the race alone, there's no doubt in my mind I'd have destroyed the CHUMPetition. But since I was paired up with this complete loser I was less than hopeful. I knew in my heart of hearts this guy was not a winner. He couldn't win. If I was going to get that blue ribbon, I'd have to take matters into my own hands. Put the burden on my own back and carry us to Glory.
Over the past few months I think I've portrayed myself pretty accurately on this blog (except for the fact that I don't even use my real name), so I think, if you've read this for awhile, you should know me well enough to know what comes next. The whistle blew and off I went.
Right off the bat, the idiot I was paired up with fell down. No surprise there. But it still didn't stop me from screaming at him. "GET UP!! GET UP!!" I yelled, even though I gave him absolutely no chance to get up, seeing as how I was dragging him across the field. I frantically looked around and saw many of the other children had fallen to the ground as well. "Good", I thought, "maybe we're not out of this thing yet. I've got to THINK!!"
But the only thing I could think of was to continue screaming at the kid, which I did with gusto. He was crab-crawling on the ground saying "I CAN'T!! STOP!! LET ME GET UP!!" What an idiot this kid was. So I just gritted my teeth and pushed ahead with everything I had.
I could see I had some competition from two other teams. We were neck and neck and they both had their partner actually helping them. It was champion time. Glory time.
Dragging that sorry bastard behind me, I fought my way to victory. WE HAD WON!! Or should I say, I had won, even though my partner did all he could to lose. My older sister came running up from nowhere and celebrated with me as I got my blue ribbon. Although I noticed the teachers made a terrible mistake by giving my partner a blue ribbon as well, instead of giving me two blue ribbons. I did the work of two people and still won, so I think it would only be fair for me to get both blue ribbons. Like I said, I can't remember that kid's name or even what he looks like, but if I ever see him again I might just lose my shit and hurt somebody.
Okay, so there you have it. My first flashback. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and I hope this helps to shed a little light on what makes me tick.
-Maynard
*Yes, I realize they also use flashforwards now too.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Best of Radiohead
Not bad, not bad. Here's the track listing-
01 Just
02 Paranoid Android
03 Karma Police
04 Creep
05 No Surprises
06 High and Dry
07 My Iron Lung
08 There There (The Boney King of Nowhere.)
09 Lucky
10 Fake Plastic Trees
11 Idioteque
12 2+2=5 (The Lukewarm.)
13 The Bends
14 Pyramid Song
15 Street Spirit (Fade Out)
16 Everything in Its Right Place
The Best Of disc two:
01 Airbag
02 I Might Be Wrong
03 Go to Sleep (Little Man Being Erased.)
04 Let Down
05 Planet Telex
06 Exit Music (For a Film)
07 The National Anthem
08 Knives Out
09 Talk Show Host
10 You
11 Anyone Can Play Guitar
12 How to Disappear Completely
13 True Love Waits
Radiohead never seemed like the kind of band that would ever do a "Best of"
And they didn't. EMI is the one pulling this shit. Radiohead had nothing to do with it. And while I think the tracklisting is about as good as it can get, it still just seems wrong. If there was ever a band that you should NOT listen to the Best of, it's Radiohead. I know people say this about every band ever, but the only way to get to know what this band is about is to go back and listen to each album separately.
And now, just for the hell of it, I'll rank the Radiohead albums. I encourage you to do the same.
1. OK Computer- 10/10
2. Kid A- 10/10
3. The Bends- 10/10
4. In Rainbows- 9/10
5. Amnesiac- 8.5/10
6. Hail to the Thief- 7.5/10 (too... "Scatterbrain"-ed? Wink wink)
7. Pablo Honey- 6.5/10 (Good songs, just doesn't really have much of an identity)
-Maynard
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
April Fools
Ah, April Fools. My time to shine. People like me only get one day out of the year, April First, and we try to make the most out of it. Throughout the day, I'll be updating this post, telling you of my misadventures pranking my loved ones.
The day started off alright. I went downstairs and told everyone I had to go brush my teeth in the bathroom... only I didn't do it. Hehehe, April Fools, fuckers.
Next, I went into the living room. Greeted Lando... WITH A SWIFT KICK TO THE STOMACH!!
APRIL FOOLS, FUCKERS!!
Then he got on the computer a few minutes later... too bad he didn't see me hiding behind him. I snuck up on that April Fool and and hit him in the back with a broom ^_______^ April Fools!!
To be continued...
-M
UPDATE- Went outside where the dog, Tobey, is in a fence thing. I walked up to him and told him I was going to pet him. He jumped up and wagged his tail. I reached out to pet him... then pulled my hand away and yelled "APRIL FOOLS!!"
Tobey cocked his head to one side, then jumped up and started barking and crying.
More later- M
UPDATE NUMBER TWO- Went outside again. Picked some wild onions and knocked on the front door. My little brother answered and I threw the onions in his fucking face. APRIL FOOLS, FUCKER!!
-Maynard
UPDATE NUMBER THREE- Went to the park. We found this steep hill and decided to roll down it. When Lando rolled down it, he lost his shoe. I ran up, grabbed the shoe and threw it with all my might. "APRIL FOOLS!!", I yelled. Then he rolled down the hill again and got all muddy and really hurt himself.
^____________________^
-M
UPDATE NUMBER FOUR- Saw Lando talking to Bada on MSN. Lando went to the bathroom, so I got in his chair and typed "Fuck me. Oh man, fuck me." Big laugh from me.
Then we went to the store. On the way I kept swerving into the other lane yelling "APRIL FOOLS!!" Another big laugh. From me.
-The Always Classy... Maynard
UPDATE NUMBER FIVE (FINAL UPDATE)- Time for the biggest prank of them all. Time for the shocking twist ending. The one that will be remembered years from now... I've been lying all day long. Kind of.
I did brush my teeth this morning. I was unable to kick Lando in the stomach because he blocked my attack. Also, I didn't hit him in the back with a broom. He took most of the hit on his shoulder. I didn't even bother Tobey today. When I threw the onions at my brother, it missed his face and went over his shoulder. I did throw Lando's shoe, but I didn't throw it with all my might. Plus, the wind caught it, so it barely went anywhere. When I wrote "Fuck me" to Bada, I actually only wrote "Kiss me." While we were driving, I did swerve a little, but never crossed over the line and never did it while traffic was coming.
Does this shock you? The Usual Suspects, The Sixth Sense and The Empire Strikes Back can kiss my ass. Biggest. Shock. Ever.
For you see, dear reader, the prank has been on YOU all along.
April Fools, fuckers.
-M
The day started off alright. I went downstairs and told everyone I had to go brush my teeth in the bathroom... only I didn't do it. Hehehe, April Fools, fuckers.
Next, I went into the living room. Greeted Lando... WITH A SWIFT KICK TO THE STOMACH!!
APRIL FOOLS, FUCKERS!!
Then he got on the computer a few minutes later... too bad he didn't see me hiding behind him. I snuck up on that April Fool and and hit him in the back with a broom ^_______^ April Fools!!
To be continued...
-M
UPDATE- Went outside where the dog, Tobey, is in a fence thing. I walked up to him and told him I was going to pet him. He jumped up and wagged his tail. I reached out to pet him... then pulled my hand away and yelled "APRIL FOOLS!!"
Tobey cocked his head to one side, then jumped up and started barking and crying.
More later- M
UPDATE NUMBER TWO- Went outside again. Picked some wild onions and knocked on the front door. My little brother answered and I threw the onions in his fucking face. APRIL FOOLS, FUCKER!!
-Maynard
UPDATE NUMBER THREE- Went to the park. We found this steep hill and decided to roll down it. When Lando rolled down it, he lost his shoe. I ran up, grabbed the shoe and threw it with all my might. "APRIL FOOLS!!", I yelled. Then he rolled down the hill again and got all muddy and really hurt himself.
^____________________^
-M
UPDATE NUMBER FOUR- Saw Lando talking to Bada on MSN. Lando went to the bathroom, so I got in his chair and typed "Fuck me. Oh man, fuck me." Big laugh from me.
Then we went to the store. On the way I kept swerving into the other lane yelling "APRIL FOOLS!!" Another big laugh. From me.
-The Always Classy... Maynard
UPDATE NUMBER FIVE (FINAL UPDATE)- Time for the biggest prank of them all. Time for the shocking twist ending. The one that will be remembered years from now... I've been lying all day long. Kind of.
I did brush my teeth this morning. I was unable to kick Lando in the stomach because he blocked my attack. Also, I didn't hit him in the back with a broom. He took most of the hit on his shoulder. I didn't even bother Tobey today. When I threw the onions at my brother, it missed his face and went over his shoulder. I did throw Lando's shoe, but I didn't throw it with all my might. Plus, the wind caught it, so it barely went anywhere. When I wrote "Fuck me" to Bada, I actually only wrote "Kiss me." While we were driving, I did swerve a little, but never crossed over the line and never did it while traffic was coming.
Does this shock you? The Usual Suspects, The Sixth Sense and The Empire Strikes Back can kiss my ass. Biggest. Shock. Ever.
For you see, dear reader, the prank has been on YOU all along.
April Fools, fuckers.
-M
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