Mothers. They bring us into this world. They raise us, nurture us, protect us and teach us. My mother has taught me almost everything I know (the rest I learned from pornographic websites).
So, in honor of Mother's Day (a few weeks ago), I will now recall the special moments and solid wisdom I learned from my mother.
1. McDonald's only hires Mexicans and Mexicans don't wash their hands, so she doesn't eat there anymore.
2. In Mexico, they really do sleep right in the middle of the road. After drinking, I assume.
3. Indians never did anything for anyone.
4. Selling plasma is an easy way to make money.
5. Smoking cigarettes can turn your fingers yellow. But it makes girls think you're cool.
6. You can only get sued if you show up to court.
7. Cat fights are just about the funniest thing in the world. Geese fights are funny too.
8. No matter how hard you try, the world just keeps screwing you over (my dad also beat that one into my head).
9. You can never turn your back on a rooster cause it might attack you from behind.
10. There's no point in helping old people out cause they're just gonna die anyways.
11. Aliens secretly rule the world and love watching horse races.
12. If America would just go to war with China, all of our problems would be solved. Once we enslaved them, I assume.
13. Reba McEntire is a painfully ugly woman.
14. Donnie Walsh was always a moron who can kiss my ass.
There you have it folks, all the knowledge my mother has passed on to me through the years. Now share yours.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Review: Lost- season 4
Well, there it was. No more Lost until January of next year. Damn, that's too long to wait. So until then I guess we'll just have to find some new things to get obsessed with. The Venture Bros. is finally coming back this Sunday, but that'll only be a Summer long obsession. Then what? I just don't know...
So, to start off, this won't be a real review. Well, it kind of will. I don't know. Fuck it. Let's just see where this goes.
So.. uh... season four. What to say about it? It was... different. To say the least. Flash forwards, flashbacks, lots of action, some twists and turns. I don't know how to explain it really... it was fantastic but it left me feeling hollow somehow. I was very disappointed by many aspects of this season to be honest. But a lot of it was better than I ever expected. Let's start with the bad.
Character development. There were three episodes this season where they really fleshed out the characters and all their feelings. Meet Kevin Johnson, The Shape of Things to Come and Something Nice Back Home. I guess The Constant sort of did too, but not the same way. Either way, it's because of the character development that those three episodes I mentioned are among my favorites of this season. I guess since we're in season four and they've only got so many episodes left to tell the story that they figured, "Hell, they know the characters by now, let's just get this shit over with."
That leads me to the other complaint. It was so rushed, wasn't it? But this I can't blame on the writers. Well, yeah I can, cause they're the ones that went on strike. But at least when they came back from the very long hiatus they were great. But because of it we always learned almost nothing of people like Faraday, Miles and (especially) Charlotte. At least they have given her a sort of interesting character arc for season five (She was apparently born on the island... or some shit... that's why she decided to stay on the island).
Miles, on the other hand, I have no idea why he stayed behind. I guess he still wants that fucking money. He will, hopefully, have a shitload to do next year. Talking to ghosts, going on adventures, talking shit. Miles is going to be awesome.
Faraday will be too once we learn more about him, I'm sure. Although there's no telling where he is. Last we saw he was heading back towards the island on his little boat, and then it disappeared. Then he was nowhere to be seen. My guess- hell, he just disappeared with it. Wherever (or whenever) it went, he went with it. I think. Either way let's just say the new characters seemed interesting but weren't given much of a chance this year so we can only hope for the best next year.
The thing about this season is, it was kind of like The Empire Strikes Back. It's an incredibly pivotal season but at the same time it was sort of like nothing began and nothing ended. This was a set up season for next year. Not that it didn't have plenty of great moments, but it didn't feel like a stand alone season the way the others have. It feels more like the first chapter of a new story. Which I'm almost sure was the plan the whole time.
Sawyer. Sucked. For the whole season. Next year, please let him be awesome and cool again. No more straight up hero shit. Sawyer is at his most interesting when he's helping the team while still serving his own purpose. Or at least still kicking ass.
Locke was made to look like a fool the entire season. Every step of the way, Ben was making him look stupid. Not cool. And then it ends with him DYING?! I have to admit I didn't see that one coming. I was sure it would be Michael for the longest time. I guess Michael probably wouldn't have any remains though. Dude got blown up. Either way, Locke needs a lot more to do next year and he needs to blow some more shit up.
Okay, one more thing I hated and then we'll turn to the stuff that pleased me.
Michael. Wow. That was it? He was gone for a whole season and when he comes back, that's all you give him to do? Like I said earlier, I know a lot of this had to do with the writers strike, but still... he showed up and had a great episode, then what? He got beat up a lot and then he tried and failed to stop a bomb. The end. Fuck it. Harold has already complained about that. I agree with him. They botched it.
The good.
Okay, now I know I just complained about him but I'll have to say Michael again. I know they fucked up with him in the long run, but Meet Kevin Johnson was amazing. I'd go so far as to say his (Harold Perreinus) acting in that episode was the best the show has ever seen. Really, who else tops his performance? I can't think of anyone. Except maybe Michael Emerson in The Shape of Things to Come, but really, it's no match. Harold did great and that dude deserves an Emmy or something for that episode.
I also loved that we finally got some answers this year. And lots of action. Even if it did mean we had to let the characters fall to the wayside for most of the time. Like I said, this was a transition season and I think next year it'll be back to normal. Although I hope they still give us some answers.
Sayid had his best season ever. I never cared much for the character the way some people have but this season he really was great.
I loved that they at least mentioned Mr. Eko. Now I can die happily.
Loved that Walt looked like a 25 year old gang member (because he's black. Get it?) I really hope he becomes a series regular next year. I know that kid was annoying but come on, they made Walt seem way too important not to use him again. He's gotta go back. HE'S GOTTA GO BACK!!
Alright, I'm already bored with this. Let's get down to business. The best episodes in ranked order are-
1. Meet Kevin Johnson
2. The Shape of Things to Come
3. Something Nice Back Home
4. The Economist
5. The Constant
6. There's No Place Like Home (parts 1, 2 and 3. I count them as a whole)
7. Ji Yeon
8. Confirmed Dead
9. The Beginning of the End
10. Cabin Fever
11. The Other Woman
12. Eggtown
I'd rank the season-
1. Season 1
2. Season 3 (it started off slow but once it got to the middle of the season it kicked ass like never before)
3. Season 4
4. Season 2
This season gets an 8.5/10 from me. Great action and all that but next time, please focus on the characters a little more. As much as I love that we're getting answers finally I don't want it to ruin the greatest characters on t.v.
Ben is the seasons MVP. Sayid comes in second place. Michael could have been the MVP had they kept it up after Meet Kevin Johnson but it all went downhill for him after that.
Locke was MVP of season 1, Mr. Eko MVP of season 2 and Sawyer MVP of season 3 (although Locke and Ben were close behind).
And finally, I hope in season five they have more comedy. A suggestion- Jack and Ben gets into crazy hijinks trying to get Locke's dead body back to the island. Weekend at Bernie's style. Carrying his body out of the funeral parlor, a young police man walks up. "What are you guys doing??", he asks. Jack and Ben exchange looks of terror. "Uh, nothin', man.", says Jack. "He's just real drunk... he's a fuckin' retard, man."
Stuff like that.
-Maynard
P.S. Claire looked fat as shit in the last episode.
So, to start off, this won't be a real review. Well, it kind of will. I don't know. Fuck it. Let's just see where this goes.
So.. uh... season four. What to say about it? It was... different. To say the least. Flash forwards, flashbacks, lots of action, some twists and turns. I don't know how to explain it really... it was fantastic but it left me feeling hollow somehow. I was very disappointed by many aspects of this season to be honest. But a lot of it was better than I ever expected. Let's start with the bad.
Character development. There were three episodes this season where they really fleshed out the characters and all their feelings. Meet Kevin Johnson, The Shape of Things to Come and Something Nice Back Home. I guess The Constant sort of did too, but not the same way. Either way, it's because of the character development that those three episodes I mentioned are among my favorites of this season. I guess since we're in season four and they've only got so many episodes left to tell the story that they figured, "Hell, they know the characters by now, let's just get this shit over with."
That leads me to the other complaint. It was so rushed, wasn't it? But this I can't blame on the writers. Well, yeah I can, cause they're the ones that went on strike. But at least when they came back from the very long hiatus they were great. But because of it we always learned almost nothing of people like Faraday, Miles and (especially) Charlotte. At least they have given her a sort of interesting character arc for season five (She was apparently born on the island... or some shit... that's why she decided to stay on the island).
Miles, on the other hand, I have no idea why he stayed behind. I guess he still wants that fucking money. He will, hopefully, have a shitload to do next year. Talking to ghosts, going on adventures, talking shit. Miles is going to be awesome.
Faraday will be too once we learn more about him, I'm sure. Although there's no telling where he is. Last we saw he was heading back towards the island on his little boat, and then it disappeared. Then he was nowhere to be seen. My guess- hell, he just disappeared with it. Wherever (or whenever) it went, he went with it. I think. Either way let's just say the new characters seemed interesting but weren't given much of a chance this year so we can only hope for the best next year.
The thing about this season is, it was kind of like The Empire Strikes Back. It's an incredibly pivotal season but at the same time it was sort of like nothing began and nothing ended. This was a set up season for next year. Not that it didn't have plenty of great moments, but it didn't feel like a stand alone season the way the others have. It feels more like the first chapter of a new story. Which I'm almost sure was the plan the whole time.
Sawyer. Sucked. For the whole season. Next year, please let him be awesome and cool again. No more straight up hero shit. Sawyer is at his most interesting when he's helping the team while still serving his own purpose. Or at least still kicking ass.
Locke was made to look like a fool the entire season. Every step of the way, Ben was making him look stupid. Not cool. And then it ends with him DYING?! I have to admit I didn't see that one coming. I was sure it would be Michael for the longest time. I guess Michael probably wouldn't have any remains though. Dude got blown up. Either way, Locke needs a lot more to do next year and he needs to blow some more shit up.
Okay, one more thing I hated and then we'll turn to the stuff that pleased me.
Michael. Wow. That was it? He was gone for a whole season and when he comes back, that's all you give him to do? Like I said earlier, I know a lot of this had to do with the writers strike, but still... he showed up and had a great episode, then what? He got beat up a lot and then he tried and failed to stop a bomb. The end. Fuck it. Harold has already complained about that. I agree with him. They botched it.
The good.
Okay, now I know I just complained about him but I'll have to say Michael again. I know they fucked up with him in the long run, but Meet Kevin Johnson was amazing. I'd go so far as to say his (Harold Perreinus) acting in that episode was the best the show has ever seen. Really, who else tops his performance? I can't think of anyone. Except maybe Michael Emerson in The Shape of Things to Come, but really, it's no match. Harold did great and that dude deserves an Emmy or something for that episode.
I also loved that we finally got some answers this year. And lots of action. Even if it did mean we had to let the characters fall to the wayside for most of the time. Like I said, this was a transition season and I think next year it'll be back to normal. Although I hope they still give us some answers.
Sayid had his best season ever. I never cared much for the character the way some people have but this season he really was great.
I loved that they at least mentioned Mr. Eko. Now I can die happily.
Loved that Walt looked like a 25 year old gang member (because he's black. Get it?) I really hope he becomes a series regular next year. I know that kid was annoying but come on, they made Walt seem way too important not to use him again. He's gotta go back. HE'S GOTTA GO BACK!!
Alright, I'm already bored with this. Let's get down to business. The best episodes in ranked order are-
1. Meet Kevin Johnson
2. The Shape of Things to Come
3. Something Nice Back Home
4. The Economist
5. The Constant
6. There's No Place Like Home (parts 1, 2 and 3. I count them as a whole)
7. Ji Yeon
8. Confirmed Dead
9. The Beginning of the End
10. Cabin Fever
11. The Other Woman
12. Eggtown
I'd rank the season-
1. Season 1
2. Season 3 (it started off slow but once it got to the middle of the season it kicked ass like never before)
3. Season 4
4. Season 2
This season gets an 8.5/10 from me. Great action and all that but next time, please focus on the characters a little more. As much as I love that we're getting answers finally I don't want it to ruin the greatest characters on t.v.
Ben is the seasons MVP. Sayid comes in second place. Michael could have been the MVP had they kept it up after Meet Kevin Johnson but it all went downhill for him after that.
Locke was MVP of season 1, Mr. Eko MVP of season 2 and Sawyer MVP of season 3 (although Locke and Ben were close behind).
And finally, I hope in season five they have more comedy. A suggestion- Jack and Ben gets into crazy hijinks trying to get Locke's dead body back to the island. Weekend at Bernie's style. Carrying his body out of the funeral parlor, a young police man walks up. "What are you guys doing??", he asks. Jack and Ben exchange looks of terror. "Uh, nothin', man.", says Jack. "He's just real drunk... he's a fuckin' retard, man."
Stuff like that.
-Maynard
P.S. Claire looked fat as shit in the last episode.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Avril Lavigne/Jonas Brothers Concert!!
My very first concert and it was pretty awesome.
So i decided to go by bus instead of train, when i got to the bus station, i wish i would of went by train. I was just sitting in the bus station and this old guy came up to me and started talking to me. "When did they build this new bus station?" "Did they build it in the day?" "Did they build it at night?" "Have you seen the new bus station in Dunfermline?" "Lovely weather isn't it" "It's raining in England" i'm like to myself "JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY, I DON'T KNOW YOU!!" i never said that though. I guess i just answered all the questions. What a weirdo. So i got in the bus, a freaky thing happened, well i thought it was freaky. I was listening to Avril songs on my Ipod, and just when the song "When You're Gone" came on my Ipod, one of those funeral cars with a coffin in the back of it drove past the bus. I thought that was pretty freaky like. The journey lasted like 2 hours, pretty cool scenery and shit. I went to McDonalds, i've never actually noticed this before, but McDonalds is like a "babe heaven" they all seem to hang out there!! So the doors to the concert never opened until like 8:00 pm but i thought i would stand in the queue early. I got there at like 5:00pm, I'm so glad i did that. I was bascially right at the door near enough. The queue was like a mile long, haha those suckers. Standing in the queue for like 3 hours in the wind. It was so worth it!! Though there was some emo guy behind me who wouldn't shut up. Talking about emo things with his friends or crew or whatever the emo's call them. Infront of me though was three hot chicks who were singing Avril Lavigne songs and dancing. So that was pretty awesome. ;) Got in the door, some of the security people were frisking people, obviously the shady characters. Rock got in without getting frisked. (high fives). I got right to the front of the stage, which was pretty damn good. So this band called the Jonas Brothers came on first, never heard of them before though. They sounded like a British band called Busted though. I don't think anyone really cared about them performing, well maybe some of the chicks cared. I was situated right in front of the left amp, fucking loud as fuck. My ears were ringing. The lead singer of the Jonas Brothers went into the crowd, not my side thankfully. Then they finished there songs off and left. Thank god. Then Avril came on rocking out. She started off with the song "Girlfriend" It was so amazing getting to be that actual close to her. She's so tiny with her skimpy outfit on. She was doing cartwheels and shit. Through the concert this chick to the right of me, well a little right to me. She kept looking over my way. Like for at least 10 minutes. Then she suddenly made her way through the crowd in my direction. I thought to myself "this is your big moment, don't blow it" she walked right past me and into the girls toilet. :( I guess she was just looking in my direction to see when the queue would be down to go and do her stuff. What a slut, a hot slut i might add. I took a whole load of pictures, but most of them were blurry because it's hard to try and take pictures when your camera is in mid air and trying to keep it steady and shit. I also managed to sneak in some video time. With me being so close to the front though, the fucking security guards kept telling us to not record. Damn bastards. All the fuckers in the middle were filming the whole thing. It was much better being closer to Avril Lavigne though. Avril so well kept looking in my direction, it was clear to see we had a connection. She even said i rocked in a video, which you'll see down below. Lol. There was this big ginger guy standing next to me. He must of had like five cans of beer or something. When Avril started singing "Skater Boi" he was jumping all over the place with his friends. Moshing out like he was at a Slipknot concert or shit. The fucker banged into me all night. So i kept pushing him back. On the way out though he apologized to me, because he knows who is the boss, ME! I'm glad i went the Monday night though, her laryngitis was starting to show when she was performing her last couple of songs. All those suckers could well of got sloppy seconds on Tuesday. MUHAHA. Overall it rocked out. It makes me want to go to more concerts now.
-Bada
Not the best filming i have ever done in my life, had to hide it from the security guards.
She said i rocked.
Singing Complicated.
Singing My Happy Ending.
So i decided to go by bus instead of train, when i got to the bus station, i wish i would of went by train. I was just sitting in the bus station and this old guy came up to me and started talking to me. "When did they build this new bus station?" "Did they build it in the day?" "Did they build it at night?" "Have you seen the new bus station in Dunfermline?" "Lovely weather isn't it" "It's raining in England" i'm like to myself "JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY, I DON'T KNOW YOU!!" i never said that though. I guess i just answered all the questions. What a weirdo. So i got in the bus, a freaky thing happened, well i thought it was freaky. I was listening to Avril songs on my Ipod, and just when the song "When You're Gone" came on my Ipod, one of those funeral cars with a coffin in the back of it drove past the bus. I thought that was pretty freaky like. The journey lasted like 2 hours, pretty cool scenery and shit. I went to McDonalds, i've never actually noticed this before, but McDonalds is like a "babe heaven" they all seem to hang out there!! So the doors to the concert never opened until like 8:00 pm but i thought i would stand in the queue early. I got there at like 5:00pm, I'm so glad i did that. I was bascially right at the door near enough. The queue was like a mile long, haha those suckers. Standing in the queue for like 3 hours in the wind. It was so worth it!! Though there was some emo guy behind me who wouldn't shut up. Talking about emo things with his friends or crew or whatever the emo's call them. Infront of me though was three hot chicks who were singing Avril Lavigne songs and dancing. So that was pretty awesome. ;) Got in the door, some of the security people were frisking people, obviously the shady characters. Rock got in without getting frisked. (high fives). I got right to the front of the stage, which was pretty damn good. So this band called the Jonas Brothers came on first, never heard of them before though. They sounded like a British band called Busted though. I don't think anyone really cared about them performing, well maybe some of the chicks cared. I was situated right in front of the left amp, fucking loud as fuck. My ears were ringing. The lead singer of the Jonas Brothers went into the crowd, not my side thankfully. Then they finished there songs off and left. Thank god. Then Avril came on rocking out. She started off with the song "Girlfriend" It was so amazing getting to be that actual close to her. She's so tiny with her skimpy outfit on. She was doing cartwheels and shit. Through the concert this chick to the right of me, well a little right to me. She kept looking over my way. Like for at least 10 minutes. Then she suddenly made her way through the crowd in my direction. I thought to myself "this is your big moment, don't blow it" she walked right past me and into the girls toilet. :( I guess she was just looking in my direction to see when the queue would be down to go and do her stuff. What a slut, a hot slut i might add. I took a whole load of pictures, but most of them were blurry because it's hard to try and take pictures when your camera is in mid air and trying to keep it steady and shit. I also managed to sneak in some video time. With me being so close to the front though, the fucking security guards kept telling us to not record. Damn bastards. All the fuckers in the middle were filming the whole thing. It was much better being closer to Avril Lavigne though. Avril so well kept looking in my direction, it was clear to see we had a connection. She even said i rocked in a video, which you'll see down below. Lol. There was this big ginger guy standing next to me. He must of had like five cans of beer or something. When Avril started singing "Skater Boi" he was jumping all over the place with his friends. Moshing out like he was at a Slipknot concert or shit. The fucker banged into me all night. So i kept pushing him back. On the way out though he apologized to me, because he knows who is the boss, ME! I'm glad i went the Monday night though, her laryngitis was starting to show when she was performing her last couple of songs. All those suckers could well of got sloppy seconds on Tuesday. MUHAHA. Overall it rocked out. It makes me want to go to more concerts now.
-Bada
Not the best filming i have ever done in my life, had to hide it from the security guards.
She said i rocked.
Singing Complicated.
Singing My Happy Ending.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Champions. :)
May 21st 2008 is the day Manchester United became European Champions for a third time!! :)
When Manchester United won it, i went absolute mental and in a result in that, i ended up breaking my headphones. They just came apart Lol.
-Bada.
When Manchester United won it, i went absolute mental and in a result in that, i ended up breaking my headphones. They just came apart Lol.
-Bada.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Eat shit and die, fags!!
Why do I speak to you like this? Cause fuck you, that's why. Indianapolis gets to host the Superbowl in 2012, NIGGAZZZ!! So get ready cause in four years we're gonna CLASS THAT SHIT UP!!
HOLLAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Indianapolis is so awesome. Even Dennis Hopper thinks so. He appeared in a fifteen minute video on behalf of the city, imploring those idiots that run the league to just let us have it for once.
There's on old saying- if you don't agree with Dennis Hopper it's because you're and idiot and you can eat shit. If Indianapolis is good enough for Frank Booth it's good enough for you.
In other news, 2012 is also the year that the world is apparently supposed to end. If Indianapolis gets to host the Superbowl and if the Colts could somehow win it... I'd be cool with the world blowing up. Nothing else to live for.
-Maynard
HOLLAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Indianapolis is so awesome. Even Dennis Hopper thinks so. He appeared in a fifteen minute video on behalf of the city, imploring those idiots that run the league to just let us have it for once.
There's on old saying- if you don't agree with Dennis Hopper it's because you're and idiot and you can eat shit. If Indianapolis is good enough for Frank Booth it's good enough for you.
In other news, 2012 is also the year that the world is apparently supposed to end. If Indianapolis gets to host the Superbowl and if the Colts could somehow win it... I'd be cool with the world blowing up. Nothing else to live for.
-Maynard
Monday, May 19, 2008
This video proves it
Mike Huckabee is hilarious and women don't know how to act when they're in public.
-Maynard
-Maynard
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Guess I was wrong.
Remember when I (and all of you, too) thought the Boston Celtics would cruise past all comers in the Eastern Conference? Hehe, yeah, that seems so long ago. They've been forced into another game 7 by the Cavs. This coming after they were forced into a game 7 by THE HAWKS!! Those guys didn't even finished above .500, did they? What's going on here? Why are they sputtering so badly?
Well, anywho, it's time for my updated NBA Playoff predictions.
OUT EAST-
Celtics vs. Cavs- Game 7. I'll say Celtics cause I don't want to be too much of a flip flopper. But the Cavs could easily take this game. If the Celtics beat the Cavs I'll say the Pistons will win the East in a 6 game series. If the Cavs beat the Celtics, Pistons beat Cavs in 5 games. Just a guess.
OUT WEST-
Hornets vs. Spurs- Game 7. This is tough. I want so badly for the Hornets to win. CP3 vs. Kobe. Let's find out who really deserved that MVP award. But I'll go out of a small limb and say the Spurs will win this one.
If it's Lakers vs. Spurs, I really think the Spurs will take it in 7 games. If it's the Lakers vs Hornets, Lakers in 6 (even though I love the Hornets)
I'm now predicting a Pistons vs. Spurs Finals with the Spurs winning in 7 games. But the Lakers really have a shot here. They've been playing great. I just hate them so damn much.
If it's a Lakers vs. Pistons Finals I might not even care. I hate them both. I like the Celtics but I hate Boston so I hope they don't win either.
If either the Hornets or Spurs win, I'll be happy.
-M
Well, anywho, it's time for my updated NBA Playoff predictions.
OUT EAST-
Celtics vs. Cavs- Game 7. I'll say Celtics cause I don't want to be too much of a flip flopper. But the Cavs could easily take this game. If the Celtics beat the Cavs I'll say the Pistons will win the East in a 6 game series. If the Cavs beat the Celtics, Pistons beat Cavs in 5 games. Just a guess.
OUT WEST-
Hornets vs. Spurs- Game 7. This is tough. I want so badly for the Hornets to win. CP3 vs. Kobe. Let's find out who really deserved that MVP award. But I'll go out of a small limb and say the Spurs will win this one.
If it's Lakers vs. Spurs, I really think the Spurs will take it in 7 games. If it's the Lakers vs Hornets, Lakers in 6 (even though I love the Hornets)
I'm now predicting a Pistons vs. Spurs Finals with the Spurs winning in 7 games. But the Lakers really have a shot here. They've been playing great. I just hate them so damn much.
If it's a Lakers vs. Pistons Finals I might not even care. I hate them both. I like the Celtics but I hate Boston so I hope they don't win either.
If either the Hornets or Spurs win, I'll be happy.
-M
Thursday, May 15, 2008
I knew Reggie Miller was cool
Reggie Miller has always been awesome. And this photo proves it.
Ace. Check that shit. And I thought this guy was awesome when he was hitting all those three's. But then he wears that outfit and pours that vodka down that Asian chicks throat... delicious. Classy as shit. All time leader in three pointers.
Never won us a championship though...
-Maynard
Ace. Check that shit. And I thought this guy was awesome when he was hitting all those three's. But then he wears that outfit and pours that vodka down that Asian chicks throat... delicious. Classy as shit. All time leader in three pointers.
Never won us a championship though...
-Maynard
Monday, May 12, 2008
New idea for a t.v. show
Premise: The dead have risen and are running for President.
- "Roooowwwrrr!! Me want to be President. Me want... brains..."
- "Zombie President cares not for the economy.... Zombie President cares only for... brains..."
- "Zombie President promises to give tax breaks to the working class in exchange for delicious... brains..."
- "Get those camera's out of here, Zombie President is feeding!! (woman (or man) screams as Zombie President bites into her (or his) neck)
- "Zombie McCain wishes to distance himself with Bush... nom nom nom."
So I think I could get a good season or two out of this. First season he's running for President... then he loses. Second season... would never happen because it would be canceled before the first season ended :( :(
-M
- "Roooowwwrrr!! Me want to be President. Me want... brains..."
- "Zombie President cares not for the economy.... Zombie President cares only for... brains..."
- "Zombie President promises to give tax breaks to the working class in exchange for delicious... brains..."
- "Get those camera's out of here, Zombie President is feeding!! (woman (or man) screams as Zombie President bites into her (or his) neck)
- "Zombie McCain wishes to distance himself with Bush... nom nom nom."So I think I could get a good season or two out of this. First season he's running for President... then he loses. Second season... would never happen because it would be canceled before the first season ended :( :(
-M
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Girls don't know shit about shit
Anyone ever heard of some book called Twilight? Me either. Cause I don't read shit. But apparently girls do. It's sold like 4 million copies. Every single one of them was sold to a girl. I bet.
It's apparently about a girl that falls in love with a vampire. Why is it that girls are always falling in love with vampires? Because girls don't know shit about shit. I don't give a fuck how hot a girl is, if she's a vampire she's gonna get kicked 2 DA CURB!! I don't need one of those fucking things biting at my dayum NECK!!
Anywho, here's the trailer for the new Twilight movie. Apparently chicks all over have been, like, going nuts over this thing. They've been making little videos about it on youtube and whatnot. I don't see what's so great about it. It looks like a made for t.v. movie. Like... Sci Fi channel or something. It sucks is what I'm saying.
Wow.
Girls don't know shit about shit.
-M
It's apparently about a girl that falls in love with a vampire. Why is it that girls are always falling in love with vampires? Because girls don't know shit about shit. I don't give a fuck how hot a girl is, if she's a vampire she's gonna get kicked 2 DA CURB!! I don't need one of those fucking things biting at my dayum NECK!!
Anywho, here's the trailer for the new Twilight movie. Apparently chicks all over have been, like, going nuts over this thing. They've been making little videos about it on youtube and whatnot. I don't see what's so great about it. It looks like a made for t.v. movie. Like... Sci Fi channel or something. It sucks is what I'm saying.
Wow.
Girls don't know shit about shit.
-M
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Top Ten: Characters That Should Be on Lost
Okay, so by now you know that I love Lost. Best show on t.v. But could it be better? That depends on a few things. If you love the characters more than the plot than the answer is probably "Yes". I love the plot and everything as well, but face it- you wouldn't care a bit about all the mysteries if the characters were boring. We need or Lockes and Bens and Jacks to keep us interested. And so I decided to think of ten more characters, from movies and television, that would add to the shows overall greatness (well.. I got the idea from the Lost boards on IMDb... but they didn't come up with ten characters like I did. So fuck them.)
Also, feel free to add your own.
10. Mr. Eko- Okay, this one is a cheat since he was already on the show once. But they killed him!! And I know he asked to be written off the show and everything, but just imagine how awesome he would have been during season four. Damn man... I wish he were still around.
9. The Bride from the Kill Bill movies- She'd have an interesting back story at least. And she'd be a hell of a lot more interesting/entertaining than all the other females castaways. One of the reason Ana-Lucia is my favorite female member from the show was that she wasn't useless. She could kick some ass if she needed to. But The Bride could do it 100x better. It would have been fun to see her interact with all the other characters on this show. Ah well. I don't see her dying.
8. GOB Bluth from Arrested Development- I was going to put Tobias but I think GOB would be funnier if trapped on a magical island. He is a magician after all. Plus he's got such low self esteem... it would be funny to watch him try to pick up the ladies (with his magic), insult/embarrass them, then go cry in the jungle only to have Locke come out of nowhere and give him a little speech. This would help GOB to get his confidence back, then go out and repeat the whole process, all while not lifting a finger to help anyone do anything. He'd probably be dead by season 3 at the latest.
7. Bill the Butcher from Gangs of New York- Okay, so he comes from a completely different time, but still... it could be cool. After getting over the shock of the plane crash, Bill would quickly start recruiting. All white Americans are free to join his camp while all blacks, Europeans, Asians, Mexicans, Australians, Arabs (and anyone else I forgot) need not apply to join him. Then, after a few weeks and rallying the troops, he'd wage a full scale war against the dirty fucking mutts. He'd probably die really quickly. Unlike some of the bad guys on this list, I don't think he could hide his hatreds. I'd say a season one death would be most likely.
6. Brock Sampson from The Venture Bros.- Okay, so he's a cartoon, but fuck it. None of that shit on the island could happen anyways. Get over yourself. Anywho... how awesome would Brock be on this show? Unstoppable killing machine finding plenty of action and adventure (and ladies) on a magical island? Actually, now that I think about it, that might suck. He'd just murder all The Others in season one or two and then there'd be no show. Plus there'd be no power struggle between Jack and Locke because Brock would have been the clear leader from the beginning. Plus all the romance would have been taken out of the show because he'd get all the girls too. But still... those first few episodes would have been entertaining. I don't think he'd die at all on the island.
5. Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver- Think of the awkwardness!! He'd probably try to be a hunter and provider for everyone (or maybe just for himself). But then he, and everyone else, would realize he's from New York and doesn't know shit about hunting. So then he'd spend his time trying to protect Claire and Aaron. Only that was also Charlie's job and they'd get jealous of each other. Soon Claire would realize she'd need to start sticking a lot closer to Charlie once she actually got to know Travis though... that dude creeps ladies the fuck out. He'd probably die in season one by starting a fight with someone.
4. Clementine Kruczynski from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- She'd spend her days on the island fucking (and fucking with) all the male castaways. Loving them one minute, hating them the next and then breaking down and crying for hours at a time. She'd probably be killed by the rest of the castaways in season two after everyone finally gets sick of her shit. Out of all the character's I've mentioned, I think she would actually be the most likely to have been a real character on the show.
3. Frank Booth from Blue Velvet- Think of the drama!! One of the craziest motherfuckers of all time trapped on an island with the rest of the castaways. How would he act? Friendly? Evilly? He'd probably pull some shit, like kidnapping Kate or some other chick, then when they got her back he'd be banished from the island and would spend the rest of season one trying to get on everyone's good side. Then he'd turn evil again, kidnap Claire and finally be murdered (by Charlie). FUCK IT!!
2. Ash from the Evil Dead Trilogy- Imagine the conflict!! He's a strong leader like Jack, he's a smart alec like Sawyer, he believes in all kinds of crazy shit like Locke and he's got a chainsaw for a hand. You just KNOW this motherfucker would be kicking ass and taking names. He could fight Jack for leader ship, fight Jack AND Sawyer for Kate's affections, then fight Charlie for Claire's affections, then go on adventure in the jungle with Locke or Eko, then come back and fight Jack and Saywer some more, then say something funny, then go to sleep. ALL IN ONE DAY!!. I don't see him dying in this show.
1. George Costanza from Seinfeld- Go ahead, try to come up with a better answer. You can't!! George Costanza being trapped on the Lost island is one of the best things anyone has ever thought of. He probably wouldn't be involved in the mysteries too much though. He'd mostly hang around the beach, trying to scam everyone out of their freshly caught fish. Or trying to get the best beach spot by telling everyone his horrible life story. Lying, complaining, stealing. Basically, he'd be useless. He'd be more than useless, he'd be a real problem for everyone on the island. But a hilarious problem. Although, truth be told, I couldn't see him living past season one or two. He'd starve. So yeah, he'd probably die... but hilariously.
Well, there you go. That's my list. In related news, I am in desperate need of an actual life :( :(
-M
Also, feel free to add your own.
10. Mr. Eko- Okay, this one is a cheat since he was already on the show once. But they killed him!! And I know he asked to be written off the show and everything, but just imagine how awesome he would have been during season four. Damn man... I wish he were still around.
9. The Bride from the Kill Bill movies- She'd have an interesting back story at least. And she'd be a hell of a lot more interesting/entertaining than all the other females castaways. One of the reason Ana-Lucia is my favorite female member from the show was that she wasn't useless. She could kick some ass if she needed to. But The Bride could do it 100x better. It would have been fun to see her interact with all the other characters on this show. Ah well. I don't see her dying.
8. GOB Bluth from Arrested Development- I was going to put Tobias but I think GOB would be funnier if trapped on a magical island. He is a magician after all. Plus he's got such low self esteem... it would be funny to watch him try to pick up the ladies (with his magic), insult/embarrass them, then go cry in the jungle only to have Locke come out of nowhere and give him a little speech. This would help GOB to get his confidence back, then go out and repeat the whole process, all while not lifting a finger to help anyone do anything. He'd probably be dead by season 3 at the latest.
7. Bill the Butcher from Gangs of New York- Okay, so he comes from a completely different time, but still... it could be cool. After getting over the shock of the plane crash, Bill would quickly start recruiting. All white Americans are free to join his camp while all blacks, Europeans, Asians, Mexicans, Australians, Arabs (and anyone else I forgot) need not apply to join him. Then, after a few weeks and rallying the troops, he'd wage a full scale war against the dirty fucking mutts. He'd probably die really quickly. Unlike some of the bad guys on this list, I don't think he could hide his hatreds. I'd say a season one death would be most likely.
6. Brock Sampson from The Venture Bros.- Okay, so he's a cartoon, but fuck it. None of that shit on the island could happen anyways. Get over yourself. Anywho... how awesome would Brock be on this show? Unstoppable killing machine finding plenty of action and adventure (and ladies) on a magical island? Actually, now that I think about it, that might suck. He'd just murder all The Others in season one or two and then there'd be no show. Plus there'd be no power struggle between Jack and Locke because Brock would have been the clear leader from the beginning. Plus all the romance would have been taken out of the show because he'd get all the girls too. But still... those first few episodes would have been entertaining. I don't think he'd die at all on the island.
5. Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver- Think of the awkwardness!! He'd probably try to be a hunter and provider for everyone (or maybe just for himself). But then he, and everyone else, would realize he's from New York and doesn't know shit about hunting. So then he'd spend his time trying to protect Claire and Aaron. Only that was also Charlie's job and they'd get jealous of each other. Soon Claire would realize she'd need to start sticking a lot closer to Charlie once she actually got to know Travis though... that dude creeps ladies the fuck out. He'd probably die in season one by starting a fight with someone.
4. Clementine Kruczynski from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- She'd spend her days on the island fucking (and fucking with) all the male castaways. Loving them one minute, hating them the next and then breaking down and crying for hours at a time. She'd probably be killed by the rest of the castaways in season two after everyone finally gets sick of her shit. Out of all the character's I've mentioned, I think she would actually be the most likely to have been a real character on the show.
3. Frank Booth from Blue Velvet- Think of the drama!! One of the craziest motherfuckers of all time trapped on an island with the rest of the castaways. How would he act? Friendly? Evilly? He'd probably pull some shit, like kidnapping Kate or some other chick, then when they got her back he'd be banished from the island and would spend the rest of season one trying to get on everyone's good side. Then he'd turn evil again, kidnap Claire and finally be murdered (by Charlie). FUCK IT!!
2. Ash from the Evil Dead Trilogy- Imagine the conflict!! He's a strong leader like Jack, he's a smart alec like Sawyer, he believes in all kinds of crazy shit like Locke and he's got a chainsaw for a hand. You just KNOW this motherfucker would be kicking ass and taking names. He could fight Jack for leader ship, fight Jack AND Sawyer for Kate's affections, then fight Charlie for Claire's affections, then go on adventure in the jungle with Locke or Eko, then come back and fight Jack and Saywer some more, then say something funny, then go to sleep. ALL IN ONE DAY!!. I don't see him dying in this show.
1. George Costanza from Seinfeld- Go ahead, try to come up with a better answer. You can't!! George Costanza being trapped on the Lost island is one of the best things anyone has ever thought of. He probably wouldn't be involved in the mysteries too much though. He'd mostly hang around the beach, trying to scam everyone out of their freshly caught fish. Or trying to get the best beach spot by telling everyone his horrible life story. Lying, complaining, stealing. Basically, he'd be useless. He'd be more than useless, he'd be a real problem for everyone on the island. But a hilarious problem. Although, truth be told, I couldn't see him living past season one or two. He'd starve. So yeah, he'd probably die... but hilariously.
Well, there you go. That's my list. In related news, I am in desperate need of an actual life :( :(
-M
Monday, May 5, 2008
Birthday FTW!!
Well its my birthday today. Just turned 20 years old and have been having an almost good day.
Only got one present though...
thats what i got! thats ALL! my nieces MADE (didn't buy) it for me. i never asked for anything like that. i never said "I LOVE TRASH SO GIVE ME SOME!" but thats what i got :(
thats not all that happened. Maynard had an idea because he would not buy me birthday candles. he said to me he said " well since we dont have the money for candles what we will do is sing to you and at the end you will turn off the lights and we will cheer" and another idea where i had to sing for myself then turn off the lights. and its in the middle of the damn day so what would that even do?
anyways thats all i have to say
you should donate money
OH YEAH NOW FOR THE SHOCKING PART!!
i do like the present its funny ^______^
-L
Only got one present though...
thats what i got! thats ALL! my nieces MADE (didn't buy) it for me. i never asked for anything like that. i never said "I LOVE TRASH SO GIVE ME SOME!" but thats what i got :(
thats not all that happened. Maynard had an idea because he would not buy me birthday candles. he said to me he said " well since we dont have the money for candles what we will do is sing to you and at the end you will turn off the lights and we will cheer" and another idea where i had to sing for myself then turn off the lights. and its in the middle of the damn day so what would that even do?
anyways thats all i have to say
you should donate money
OH YEAH NOW FOR THE SHOCKING PART!!
i do like the present its funny ^______^
-L
Hillary Clinton = Eight Belles
The tragic death of Eight Belles at the Hillbilly Derby just got a lot funnier. Turns out Hillary Clinton was a strong supporter of the only filly in the derby. She even kind of compared herself to the beast. You know... cause she was a girl and no one thought she could win...
“I hope that everybody will go to the derby on Saturday and place just a little money on the filly for me,” she said. “I won’t be able to be there this year, my daughter is going to be there and so she has strict instructions to bet on Eight Belles.”
Then she came in second place and died.
So let's check this out here... the only filly in the race loses to "Big Brown" and then dies. Wow. That's kind of ironic I think. Will history repeat itself with the Democratic election? Only time will tell whether or not "Big Brown" can beat the girl again... and possibly kill her.
In other news, it's Lando's 20th birthday. He thinks he deserves special treatment because of this. Like I care. Motherfucker still owes me money. He'll get his birthday present when I get what's coming TO ME.
Also... my lawnmower doesn't work. So my yard has gone wild.... that's not a funny story I guess, but it's 100% true.
More later kids.
-M
“I hope that everybody will go to the derby on Saturday and place just a little money on the filly for me,” she said. “I won’t be able to be there this year, my daughter is going to be there and so she has strict instructions to bet on Eight Belles.”
Then she came in second place and died.
So let's check this out here... the only filly in the race loses to "Big Brown" and then dies. Wow. That's kind of ironic I think. Will history repeat itself with the Democratic election? Only time will tell whether or not "Big Brown" can beat the girl again... and possibly kill her.
In other news, it's Lando's 20th birthday. He thinks he deserves special treatment because of this. Like I care. Motherfucker still owes me money. He'll get his birthday present when I get what's coming TO ME.
Also... my lawnmower doesn't work. So my yard has gone wild.... that's not a funny story I guess, but it's 100% true.
More later kids.
-M
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Go horse, GO!!
Ain't that some shit? The Hillbilly Derby was today and favorite to win, Big Brown, did so in convincing fashion. The runner up (or whatever they call it) Eight Belles (or something like that) ended up DYING. She broke her ankles just after the race (or during it or something, I dunno. I didn't do a lot of fact checking), so they put her down. My mom was really rooting for that horse to win. So that sucks. Especially for the owners. Not only did she not win but she also DIED. That's a bad day right there.
-Maynard
(NOTE: I didn't realize until I had already posted this that I didn't give the horse a tail. Things just keep getting worse for the poor thing)
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Charles Ray Fuller
Charles Ray Fuller is the latest entry into The Classy's. What has this man done to join the likes of me and Dick Masterson? He tried to cash a check for 360 billion dollars.
Let me tell you something. If I was with that guy when he walked into the bank and did that shit, I'd have thrown so many high fives his way he couldn't handle it. That's fucking awesome and classy to max.
Why did he need 360 billion dollars? To start one of the classiest businesses you can get into- the record business of course!! This guy is from Texas so I assume it would have been some shitty rap label or country label, so... he losses some Classy points for bad taste in music. But still... this guy walked into a bank and tried to cash a check for 360 billion dollars. How Ace is that?
-M
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