Bada's Take On Wrestlemania 24.

Firstly the ordering of the matches were pathetic in my opinion.

JBL v Finlay.
Money In The Bank.
Batista v Umaga.
Kane v Chavo Guerrero.
Shawn Michaels v Ric Flair.
Beth Phoenix & Melina v Maria & Ashley Massaro.
Randy Orton v John Cena v Triple H.
Floyd Mayweather v Big Show.
Edge v Undertaker.

Orton v Cena v Triple H should of been the main event really.
Money In The Bank should of been put near the end.

Also i never realised the Citrus Bowl actually had no roof and shit. The fans must of got soaked. It looked like a storm was brewing as far as i could see.

Here's my take on the matches.

JBL v Finlay, it was an alright fight. Lots of weapons were involved so it made quite decent. Eventually though JBL won with the clothesline from hell.

Money In The Bank, no Money In The Bank could ever top the very first one done. It was a pretty poor Money In The Bank match to be honest. MVP look like he was about to win it with all the rest of the superstars down. Matt Hardy comes out of the crowd (like no one saw that coming) Matt Hardy bascially admitted that he would interfere. Matt Hardy was asked when he would return to the ring. Hardy commented by saying, "tonight's a good night." So he screwed MVP. CM Punk and Jericho was on the ladder battling then Jericho got his foot caught and was upside down on the ladder and CM Punk gets Money In The Bank. Pretty poor really.

Batista v Umaga, i think it was fairly obvious who would win this fight, i'm going to tell you why exactly. Everyone knows Raw is better than Smackdown, so why not let Smackdown win the brand battle. That's what happened Batista beat Umaga.

Kane earlier won the battle royal which meant he would face Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Title.

Kane v Chavo Guerrero. This is how it played out, Kanes music went, Chavo was in the ring waiting for him. Kane appeared behind Chavo out of nowhere then Chavo turned around and BANG Chokeslam, new ECW Champion, the match lasted a whole 6 seconds. Why bother in the first place?

Shawn Michaels v Ric Flair. Apparently this could of been the main event but Flair declined the idea. We all knew what was going to happen. Seriously, Hall Of Fame Night, Flair was talking for like an hour in his speech when he got inducted in the Hall Of Fame, thanking everyone, he was crying, wrestlers had tears in there eyes. I think it was fairly obvious that Flair would lose and then retire. How ironic that Ric Flairs last match was a pretty darn good one. Michaels and Flair gave everything. Flair kicked out of Sweet Chin Music, Michaels had the figure four leg locked in him at least twice and still got out of it. Then when Flair was groggy from the first Sweet Chin Music, HBK went all gay and went "I'm sorry" BANG another Sweet Chin Music 1,2,3. One of the best matches on the night though. Flair is 59 when he retired, god does this mean Undertaker is going to be around for another 10 fucking years. AHHH.

Beth Phoenix & Melina v Maria & Ashley Massaro. No one cares about these matches? We just want to see PUPPIES. They had a power failure in this match. It was pretty funny. lol. Anyway it was pretty pathetic really, the match. Santiago or whatever the fuck is his name. He came to ringside distracted Maria, then Jerry Lawler decided to punch Santiago, while all this happened Maria got pinned by Beth Phoenix. Then Santiago got in the ring and was bothering Maria or shit. Then Snoop Dog got in the ring and gave Santiago a clothesline and then made out with Maria.

Randy Orton v John Cena v Triple H. This fight, it seemed like it last like 10 minutes. I think it got cut short because of the power failure. Obviously i could see shit because i was watching it on tv but no ideas about the actual fans there. Then the power sorted itself out. In the end, Triple H predigreed Cena then went for the pin 1,2, then Orton kicked Triple H in the head and pinned Cena to retain his belt. One of the worst triple threat matches i have ever seen. The crowd seemed fantastic though. Cena and Triple H were throwing punches. Everytime Cena punched The Game he got booed, everytime The Game punched Cena the fans cheered.

Floyd Mayweather v Big Show. God, awful, absolutely awful. Mayweather was thinking this was a boxing match, he went to the corner and took some water like they do in boxing and i guessed that pissed the Big Show off. Then Floyd was trying to leave with his posse. Big Show took out his posse. Then back to the ring Big Show was about to finish Mayweather off then one of his posse got a chair and hit Big Show, then Mayweather started hitting Big Show with the chair and got brass knuckles and hit Big Show in one punch. KNOCK OUT. 40-0 i guess now for Floyd Money Mayweather.

Undertaker v Edge - Main Event. I hate Undertaker so bad, but this was a pretty darn good fight as well. I love fights when there is lots of counters and wrestlers are kicking out of other wrestlers finishing moves and shit. Edge countered bascially everything in the early going, Last Ride, Old School, Edge speared Undertaker, i thought the streak was over but no Undertaker kicked out. It was like that the whole match. Then Edge speared Undertaker again and went for the pin but Undertaker got his legs around Edges head, some submission move, it looked like Taker was getting a blow job really. Edge then tapped. 16-0. It's pathetic, i really hope Undertaker loses at Wrestlemania sometime soon. Good match though. Then fireworks went off but some fireworks went into the top tier. Lucky no one was seriously injured.

Overall it was alright, wasn't the best Wrestlemania and wasn't the worst. It's amazing how it broke records though.


-Bada.

The Great One.

The Rock Returns - Hall of Fame 2008 Part 10
Uploaded by JabroniHotel99

He will return one day. I guarandamnteeit.

Prison Break.

I started watching Prison Break like a month ago. I thought it would be lame but i'm really into it. I was pretty pissed when i started watching Season 3. Sara Tancredi was killed off. Her head was found in a box by Lincoln. I had my suspicions. You only got to see the head for like a couple of seconds and LJ heard screaming but he was infact blindfolded. So he probably assumed that it was infact Sara screaming. I just had a gut feeling, i don't know why, that infact Sara was still alive, well my friends and fans, i am here to tell you that infact my gut feeling was correct, it wasn't her head. It's confirmed that Sara Tancredi will be back in Prison Break Season 4. This is wonderful for me. She's one foxy lady. MEOW.

-Bada.

Wrestlemania 24.

I haven't watched Wrestling in quite a long time. I lost interest when The Great One left. (The Rock). But finally Bada is going to watch Wrestling again. It will start at WM24. So i'm going to do some predictions for WM24:

BunnyMania Lumberjack Match: Ashley & Maria vs The Glamazon & Melina.

I don't really care much for this match. I hope some divas get undressed though. ;) Maria sure does look fine in her PlayBoy pictures. :) Ashley & Maria for me though.

Finlay v JBL - Belfast Brawl.

Probably a sucky fight, i don't really like either wrestler. I'm going for Finlay though considering it's a Belfast Brawl.

24-Man Battle Royal - Winner Faces ECW Champion.

Raw: Snitsky, Brian Kendrick, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Hardcore Holly, Cody Rhodes, Val Venis, Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

Smackdown: Mark Henry, Chuck Palumbo, The Great Khali, Deuce Domino, Jesse, Festus, Kane, Jamie Noble, Jimmy Wang Yang, Shannon Moore.

ECW: Elijah Burke, Matt Striker, The Miz, Tommy Dreamer, Kofi Kingston.

The most obvious choice to pick for this match up would be The Great Khali, but i have a feeling they will all try and get him out first. I'm going for Kane.

Smackdown vs Raw: Batista vs Umaga.

They are both completely useless. Batista for the win.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match.

Mr Kennedy, Chris Jericho, Shelton Benjamin, Carlito, Mvp, John Morrison and CM Punk.

I love the ladder matches, probably one of the most exciting matches at WM24. I hope it doesn't disappoint. I'm sure CM Punk is supposed to get a push. So CM Punk for me, i wouldn't count out Chris Jericho though.  

Career Threatening Match.

Ric Flair v Shawn Michaels.

Why, oh why does Shawn Michaels keep getting put in these pointless fights. He should be going for the WWE title. When is Ric Flair just going to retire all ready. It wouldn't surprise me if Ric Flair wins this match with the figure four leg lock. I'm going for some Sweet Chin Music though for HBK.

Floyd Money Mayweather v Big Show.

The greatest boxer ever? against the largest. I think Floyd Mayweather will pull out the win. It will be something stupid like the Big Show will get disqualified. 

World Heavyweight Champion Edge vs Undertaker.

I hate The Undertaker so bad. He's so overrated. He's a poor wrestler. How he has this undefeated record at WM, it amazes me. Why are the WWE so stupid? I see The Undertaker winning again though, i hope i am proved wrong.

Triple Threat Match For The WWE Championship.

Randy Orton v Triple H v John Cena.

Cena is making a movie, so this could well be a reason why he won't win the belt, I seriously don't see Randy Orton retaining his title. Which could well see Orton v Triple H feud while Cena is making his movie. So i guess that means Triple H will be champion BUT on the other hand. I'm not counting out John Cena based on the fact that he only has to turn up to RAW so he has 6 other days to shoot his movie. 

My predictions are obviously in the bold and italics. They are probably all wrong but who cares? I hope it's a good WM24, considering i'm paying for it off of the Sky Box Office.

Also THE ROCK is returning to WM24, unfortunately only to induct some of his family into The Hall Of Fame. It will be interesting to see if The Rock and John Cena crosses paths. 

-Bada.

Grand Theft Auto 4 Street Map?

my guess? sure. why not?

-L

I Must OWN!!

Which makes a better T-shirt?


or


I like the second one, Lando likes the first one. I'm sure he'd wear either, if I bought one. He's always wearing my shit. And he gets shit all over them. Every single time he wears my shirt, I know it'll just end up ruined. Chilli sauce, ice cream, milk, doesn't matter... it all ends up in the shirt. Today he wouldn't even get off the couch to get himself a bottle of water... then he ate my mother's cup cakes and I had to go buy her some more.

Which shirt is better?

-Maynard

What the...

What in the hell happened to Bill Richardson? I'm not gay or anything, but I saw him last night on t.v. and he went from looking like this-



To this-



Looking sharp, my nigga. I think you and I both know he has only one place to go after that...



Tell me you wouldn't want this man to be your Vice President. You can't tell me that, cause we both know it'd just be a lie.

Stay Classy,

-M

Top Ten: Songs of the 60's

Time for another one. I messed up last time when I did the top ten songs of the 70's. I didn't put Roxy Music's "More Than This" anywhere... so I took a little longer making this list, hoping I got it just right.

10. I Just Wasn't Made for These Times
9. It's Alright, Ma by Bob Dylan
8. The Weight by The Band
7. Sunday Morning by The Velvet Underground
6. Mr. Tambourine Man by The Byrds (Dylan's version is good, but The Byrds outdid him)
5. The Village Green Preservation Society by The Kinks
4. Subterranean Homesick Blues by Bob Dylan
3. Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan
2. The Night They Drove Ole Dixie Down by The Band
1. Heroin by The Velvet Underground

So there you have it. Yeah... I'm a big Dylan fan.

EDIT: Yes, stupid moron that I am, I meant "Heroin" by The Velvet Underground, not "Heroine."

MVP!!

I'm officially supporting Chris Paul for this year's MVP award. I was kind of skeptical until I saw this.

He fucking destroyed the Bulls. Of course, they deserved to lose for wearing those atrocious green uniforms.

Paul is averaging 21.6 PPG and 11.3 APG. Steve Nash won two MVP awards and he didn't play as well as Paul. Where were these guys last year? Nowhere, that's where. Paul has lifted them into the elite. He's playing better and is more important to his team than either Kobe Bryant or LeBron James.

Chris Paul for MVP (high five)

I Got My Ass Kicked

In my sleep. Or something. Cause I woke up feeling like shit (not to be confused with "The Shit")

I've been staying up far too late lately. The past three days I've woken up past noon, which is not good for me. Today I had to force myself to get up at 12:30. When I stood up I was all wobbly and almost fell over. I tried to walk down the stairs and almost tipped forward, which would have resulted in my death. I went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror and was appalled by the person I saw staring back at me. My eyes were all puffy and it looked as if someone and taken the liberty to kick my head in while I slept.

This isn't exactly anything new for me. It happened a few years ago too. I'd wake up with bruises and stuff all over me. One time I woke up and there was tiny little blood droplets all over my bed, although I could never find any cuts or scratches on my body. Best I could figure is that whoever did it probably cut themselves and let it drip all over my bed. Why? Fear tactic.

Funny thing is, the most likely suspect has always been Lando. And I'm not gonna take this shit anymore. I feel like I'm about to die.

Let's just say Lando's gonna have a lot to write about tomorrow morning, heheheh. Cause I'm gonna kick his ass in his sleep tonight, hehehehe. Or not. But I'm going to get to the bottom of this shit. Cause I am sick of it. I shouldn't have to deal with this bullshit. It's not fair.

-M

More Lost stuff

Awesome. Totally awesome.

So I'm back after a few weeks of taking a break from talking about Lost. At least on this site. So we'll have to get this shit together. Instead of talking about the episodes themselves, which have all been pretty strong, I'm gonna just talk about the characters and what they're up to. Enjoy.

Jack- Remember how at the beginning of this season Jack was all macho and kicking ass and taking names on a somewhat regular basis? What happened? I've always defended Jack, but I could also always see what bothered people so much about him. He's, at times, kind of a push over. And it seems he's back to doing just that. He didn't push Juliet for any answers in "The Other Woman." He just kissed her. Lame.

He also doesn't seem too concerned or even interested in the whole "time is different on the island" theory. I don't think he's mentioned it once since Faraday brought it up in "The Constant." Perhaps it's just me, but I'd probably talk non-stop about that if I were on the island. I'd want to know everything Faraday knows. Jack, on the other hand, seems to be just sitting back and taking it easy for the most part. What's the deal? When are they gonna give this guy something to do?

Claire- Speaking of giving a character something to do... I like this season. A lot. We've gotten more answers in the last 7 episodes than any other period in the shows history. But with all this non-stop action, something seems to have been lost. Character development. She's had nothing to do all season long. She's just... there. Because they haven't developed her this season, they've kind of turned her into a bitch, you know? Doesn't it seem like she got over Charlie's death pretty quickly? That makes it seem like she never even cared for the poor limey bastard. I wouldn't be surprised if she were the character to die next week. I'm not sure she will be, but it wouldn't surprise me.

Kate- What a bitch. If any woman smacked me the way she smacked Sawyer, I'd have layed that bitch out. NO QUESTION.

Sawyer- Another casualty of the non-stop action. He hasn't had it easy this season. The last few episodes of last season, Sawyer was the undisputed MVP. He had an actual story. He had finally turned into the lovable leader, only to be sucked into the deepest, darkest time of his life after killing Anthony Cooper.

Now? Well, he's back to being a lovable follower. Which kind of sucks. I liked the dark Sawyer angle. I liked the thought of him vying to be a leader. All that has gone out the window in order to make room for him and Hurley playing horseshoes. Lame.

Hurley- Hurley has become more interesting for the most part. We learned Jacob wants to have a sit down with him, but why? No idea. That storyline has taken a back seat. They might not get to it this season. He seems to be happy following Locke.

Locke- Aw man, I knew this shit would happen. They're making Locke a bumbling fool. He's frustrated and confused. He's letting Ben run the show. I hear that Locke will be heading for better days soon, but I don't know. I hope so. He's too good a character to be reduced to playing the fool.

Ben- He's always got a plan. BECAUSE HE'S LIVED THROUGH THIS BEFORE!! He's always a step ahead of the rest because he already knows everything that's gonna happen. I think. Either way, he's doing what he does best- pulling everyone's strings. As Harper said, "Ben's right where he wants to be." This makes me so scared for Locke. We still haven't learned why Hurley said he should have gone with Jack instead of Locke, but we're moving ever closer (and I'm almost positive Ben will play a part in it).

I also found it interesting that Ben had such a crush on Juliet. Frankly, I don't see the appeal. But whatever. Here's my new theory (which everyone else has already come up with, I'm sure) Ben got Annie pregnant. She died on the island. Ben spends the rest of his life trying to fix it. He brings Juliet to the island. Juliet looks just like Annie. Ben loves Juliet.

Or something like that. I forget.

Miles- Where's he at?

Faraday- Best of the new characters, needs more development.

Charlotte- Another bitch.

Frank- Last night, I was talking with Lando about how they should have had Jeff Bridges play him. He could play it like The Dude!! "Look, uh, man, I'm trying to help you!! I'm on your side, man!!"

Sun and Jin- Jin, you're a bitch. What was that shit? Forgiving your wife for cheating on you only like an hour after you found out? My ass.

Sun, you should have been the one to die. Okay, okay, I'm sorry. That's a little extreme. But seriously, that's bullshit. Jin is too good for you!!

I wonder if Jin is really dead? Probably. But there is a good chance he's still on the island. We know some people got left behind and the Oceanic 6, for some reason, had to make a pact to lie to the world about what happened. Perhaps they had to tell the world Jin was dead. It would explain why Sun was so sure Jin would show up at the hospital. Sort of. I dunno. I'm not entirely ready to call him 100% dead just yet. But then, if he wasn't the 6th member of the Oceanic 6, who was? That shoots a hole in my theory. He's probably dead. Fuck it.

I'm sleepy. Goodnight. Or morning. Whichever.

-M

Let's talk Running-Mates

I got me the politics fever again. This shit is bananas!!

So we know who the Republican candidate will be (unless he dies)- John McCain. I kind of like McCain. We agree on many things and disagree on a couple of key issues (like Iraq). I can't see myself voting for him though. If he were a younger man, sure. But this bastard is 71, folks. That's the only thing stopping me for fully supporting him. Well, that and the fact he bitched out for Bush back in 2004, even after all that shit Bush pulled in 2000. Too biased towards his own party.

If there were one thing that could make me change my mind, it might be a good running mate. But he's a Republican, so that's impossible to find. BOO YAH!!

But since we're talking running mates, I guess we better get this out of the way. I'm pretty sure it'll be Charlie Crist. He's young-ish and he's a leader of one of the most important states in the election (Florida). His age will re-assure voters that if McCain eats it before his four years are up, they'll still have a fifty-something Republican to fuck the country up for the remainder of his term. Kidding, kidding. He might not be so bad. But... he probably will be.

Clinton- What's this bitch trying to pull? She's behind Obama and she's talking about letting him be VP. Whatever, bitch. We all know she'd love to have him on the ticket, cause they really would be all but unbeatable. Too bad Obama has already shot down that idea. So that leaves Evan Bayh, my main man from Indiana. I love Bayh. The man is my political hero. He'd be the only thing that might make me consider voting for her. If Clinton gets the nomination, I'm pretty certain Bayh will be her running mate. The Clinton's have been big on him for years now.

Obama- Still the front runner for the Democrats. But he's gotta be smart when it comes to picking a running mate. I'd love nothing more than for him to run with Bayh, but with Bayh being such a Clinton supporter, I think it might be doubtful. Still, I can dream, right? I really think Bayh could help any Democrat. No Republican could ever accuse him of being too liberal. He's got a ton of experience in things that actually matter. He could help carry Red-state Indiana, ect. He's the perfect running mate!! But like I said, I don't think he'll run with anyone but Clinton.

Let's imagine for a minute McCain does pick Crist to be his running mate. Crist is going to help McCain big time in battle state Florida, so Obama would probably strike back in similar fashion. I'd guess Sherrod Brown from Ohio. They have a lot in common. Both against the war. Both...

Well, I'm just guessing he'll pick Brown. Unless he wants to go with John Edwards. If he does, it'll only be because Edwards is a "name." We learned in 2004 he can't really help anyone win anything, so that'd be a waste of a running mate. So it'll either be Brown or Edwards, with Bayh as an outside shot (outside shot of course meaning "my wishful thinking") Yeah... he'll probably pick Edwards. Damnit. But he could have several really decent running mates. Bill Richardson (my second choice after Bayh), Jim Webb (someone I'm thinking has a really strong chance), ect. He won't need to look for long.

So there you have it. Which do you think has a better shot of winning the election? McCain/Crist or Obama/Edwards (or possibly Brown, Richardson or Webb, among others)? or Clinton/Bayh?

-M

EDIT: Okay, I should have done this before I made this post, but I did a little research on Brown and this guy seems to not be the most beloved politician. So... maybe we can rule him out? I dunno. Just gotta wait and see.

Kicking Ass and Taking Names

So last night i went to my sisters to get drunk and play Call of Duty 4, things did not start off well we had to go pick up my Brother-in-Law frankie teardrop who was walking home because he thought that my sister (saucy sally)told him that he could stay there and she was going home.

I really don't know what was going on because i was not listing, but it was kind of funny you see saucy sally made frankie go to this little party thing (at his brothers)he did not want to go, but she believed that if he did not his family would get mad at her and say she does not let him live his own life and stuff like that.

anyways we picked him up and you could tell he had already been drinking (frankie teardrop is an alcoholic) he is such an alcoholic he had to make his own drink when he got home. he made a sort of variation of coach mcguirks "yeast infection". it had Vodka milk coke and a lot of stuff just hearing what was in it made me feel sick, but that did not stop me from drinking

anyways we started playing Call of Duty 4 and drinking frankie's "yeast infection" and it made me play way better we were playing teams my team was me and some jerk off named tony price$ AKA o_O from that one lame blog >_< Vs. o_O and frankie and sally on the other team we had to score 250 points to win and one game i believe the score was 30-250 i was on fire all night long

then frankie wanted some candy so he made sally drive him to the store i did not go with them but from what i hear he was falling all over the place and almost broke his hand that was pretty funny

and after all that we stayed up watching anime the rest of the night and tony price$ and frankie got into a fight about who would win out of the bad guy from final fantasy 7 and kingdom hearts 2

then the next morning when we got up we played the game again and then i came right home to make a blog about my night

thats about all i have to say to you so i am out of here


with painful love


Lando

The GOP will eat her alive

With shit like this


Hopefully Obama can still win the Democratic nomination. Who wants to be the one to tell their kids they didn't vote for that guy? With Hillary in the running... I just don't see her winning. John McCain and the Right will tear her apart, and we all know how Hillary responds when under stress.

This is going to be really interesting from here on out.

-Maynard

Perhaps I spoke too soon?

Remember yesterday when I said certain things should never be made into movies? Of course you do. One of the things I mentioned that should never be made into a film was Watchmen, Alan Moore's graphic novel. It's too big and unwieldy to be made into a decent movie. I honestly think, if someone simply HAS to film this, it should be made into a mini-series. Give it a good 8 hours for it's story to unfold. It would be worth it.

But, of course, it's being made into a feature length movie. Fine. I still don't like the idea. It just can't work.

That's what I thought yesterday. Today, stills featuring all the major characters (except Dr. Manhattan, who is a bit harder to put on screen) have finally hit the web, and I gotta say, they're not half bad.

COMEDIAN looks pretty awesome. Just how he should.


NITEOWL looks about right too. Maybe not schlubby enough, but I think he looks alright. He's a boring character anyways, so I won't be too upset if he sucks.


OZYMANDIAS looks alright, except for one thing- he's too young. This dude is supposed to be in his 40's. But I guess I can't be too picky. He looks good.


RORSCHACH is one I'm not digging. His mask looks like it's made of cotton. They better not fuck him up, he's the most badass of all graphic novel characters. But then again, I guess it is kind of hard to get him just right.


SILK SPECTRE looks pretty good. She was the most boring character anyways, so who cares?


So there you have it. Did I speak too soon? Probably not. It'll still more than likely suck, but these pics give me a little more hope. I wonder what Dr. Manhattan will look like? Can't wait to see pics of him.

That's all for now, suckers.

-Maynard

Dragon Ball Z movie delayed

Yeah... Dragon Ball Z rules. Forever. What of it? So as you might expect, I'm super pissed the movie has been delayed until April 2009. Just kidding. I'm quite pleased.

Look, this movie shouldn't be made. It's gonna suck. And sucky movies should not be made. There are certain pieces of storytelling that should not and cannot be made into films that will do the originals justice. Kafka's The Metamorphosis, Alan Moore's Watchmen (which is also being made into a film due out next year), and Dragon Ball Z. In each of their own formats, they're as good as can get. Try to put them on film and you'll fuck up everything that made them great. Anyone who has seen Street Fighter knows that.

So what am I getting at with this post? No idea. It's happening one way or the other. I guess... uh... just go out and buy season 4, now on DVD. And don't see this when it comes out. It'll suck.

I warned you.

-M

So... I suck at video games

Pretty badly. Pretty REALLY badly.

So I unexpectedly went to a sort of cook out today at my sisters. We'll call her... Saucy Sally. She's married to this guy, who we'll refer to as Frankie Teardrop. Sally and Frankie enjoy video games. I used to as well, up until the good game systems came out. Then it got too confusing for me and I gave up, becoming obsessed with movies and music instead. Every time I play games I get slaughtered. Today was no exception.

Lando was hanging out with them all day and the way he explains it, Saucy Sally and Frankie Teardrop spent the entire day trying to track down a game called Call of Duty 4. So this evening we all went over and decided to play. I knew it was a bad idea for me to even try because I have no idea how to even use those controllers. I sat and watched everyone playing and I thought- "Shit son, this looks easy. I could smoke these jokers."

So I tried. And sucked. Within the first few minutes, I was killed 8 times, if memory serves. I got in a few lucky shots, but that wasn't skill. Just random shooting. Every time I got a kill I tried to gloat over the fresh victim, and the damn body would explode right as I was trying to step on their face!! That happened like 5 times, maybe more. Plus I couldn't get a handle on the controllers. I'd get someone in my sights and I wouldn't be able to kill them because I'd shoot right next to them. It sucked. Everyone else was having a great time. I almost put my fucking foot through their television set. Luckily (for them) I contained my composure. I may not be able to kill them in a video game, but I could damn sure ki.... never mind.

Video games are fucked anyways. They should have just stopped making them after Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest came out. What's the point? After you beat that game, your life is complete. That game was awesome.

-M