-M
Friday, December 26, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
So... we have a deal?
We have a deal.
Sorry.
So there's this guy at work, Tex. He's from Puerto Rico. He's about 5 feet tall. 48 years old. Total pothead. So it turns out his wife, who I understand is really religious, is also a drug dealer. Just pot. She also only has 4 regular costumers, so Tex thought I might be interested. So he set up a date for me to come buy some weed. I wasn't interested though, so... what? Okay, maybe I would like to come over, watch some football and drink some beers? Sure.
But I never went :) He has grandkids and shit and said if they were there I shouldn't come over. Because he was going to try to sell me drugs and doesn't want his grandkids to know what he's up to.
His wife sounds a little bit like a bitch too. He says he likes to smoke almost every night, but since it's his wife's stuff, he has to get it from her. And she makes him pay. "Business before family," she says.
Fuck it. I'm turning this guy in. Then maybe he'll stop asking me for money all the time. He borrowed 5 bucks from me one time and now I'm convinced he used it to buy pot from his wife.
-M
Sorry.
So there's this guy at work, Tex. He's from Puerto Rico. He's about 5 feet tall. 48 years old. Total pothead. So it turns out his wife, who I understand is really religious, is also a drug dealer. Just pot. She also only has 4 regular costumers, so Tex thought I might be interested. So he set up a date for me to come buy some weed. I wasn't interested though, so... what? Okay, maybe I would like to come over, watch some football and drink some beers? Sure.
But I never went :) He has grandkids and shit and said if they were there I shouldn't come over. Because he was going to try to sell me drugs and doesn't want his grandkids to know what he's up to.
His wife sounds a little bit like a bitch too. He says he likes to smoke almost every night, but since it's his wife's stuff, he has to get it from her. And she makes him pay. "Business before family," she says.
Fuck it. I'm turning this guy in. Then maybe he'll stop asking me for money all the time. He borrowed 5 bucks from me one time and now I'm convinced he used it to buy pot from his wife.
-M
Monday, December 8, 2008
Top Ten: Songs of 2008
Here we go-
10. "Eraser" by No Age
9. "Sec Walkin'" by My Morning Jacket
8. "Innà mér syngur vitleysingur" by Sigur Ros
7. "Frankie's Gun" by The Felice Brothers
6. "Vox Celeste" by Deerhunter
5. "Dinosuar on the Ark" by Esau Mwamwaya & Radioclit Are the Very Best
4. "Dancing Choose" by TV on the Radio
3. "Nothing Ever Happened" by Deerhunter
2. "OMG!!! FMV!!!" by Fake Male Voice
1. "Crying" by TV on the Radio
Yeah, it was TV on the Radio's year.
Now go download this shit until I feel un-lazy enough to try to post them on here myself.
Worst song of the year is either "Highly Suspicious" by My Morning Jacket (who are usually a great band, really), or "So What" by Pink. I'll let you decide that one.
-M
10. "Eraser" by No Age
9. "Sec Walkin'" by My Morning Jacket
8. "Innà mér syngur vitleysingur" by Sigur Ros
7. "Frankie's Gun" by The Felice Brothers
6. "Vox Celeste" by Deerhunter
5. "Dinosuar on the Ark" by Esau Mwamwaya & Radioclit Are the Very Best
4. "Dancing Choose" by TV on the Radio
3. "Nothing Ever Happened" by Deerhunter
2. "OMG!!! FMV!!!" by Fake Male Voice
1. "Crying" by TV on the Radio
Yeah, it was TV on the Radio's year.
Now go download this shit until I feel un-lazy enough to try to post them on here myself.
Worst song of the year is either "Highly Suspicious" by My Morning Jacket (who are usually a great band, really), or "So What" by Pink. I'll let you decide that one.
-M
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving Madness
Wow!! What a day. Thanksgiving. White folks and Indians and all that. We don't care about that shit in my family. My family only cares about causing as much trouble as possible.
The day started... as soon as I woke up. I got on my Myspace to see a new message from my beloved sister, Saucy Sally. The title of this new message was "She's drinking".
...
But who could she be referring to? I'll be honest- the first thought that popped into my mind was that she was simply referring to herself in the third person. Nope. She was referring to our mother. Apparently, my mom woke up at 7:00 a.m. and started drinking. She said she was allowed to drink because it was also her birthday.
So she went to Saucy Sally's house and started... acting drunk? I dunno. The details were vague. All I got was that Sally had to kick mom out of her house and that mom was scaring Sally's children.
So that caused a commotion. Talk of people canceling Thanksgiving and all that. Lots of people mad at one another. Just like every other holiday. No big deal.
Then we had our dinner. No big deal here either. Sally has a 2 year old and they taught her to scream "No! Please, help me!!", which was very amusing to all of us for awhile.
Then came the nighttime antics. Me and Lando decided we wanted to go out. So we borrowed my moms car. We went to buy new socks. Need em' bad. Blah blah blah. We get back and there's fucking cops everywhere. We try heading into our place, minding our own business when my mom starts running up, screaming. Apparently, when we were backing out of our parking space, we hit another car. I don't remember hitting anyone, but they say they had witnesses and there was, in fact, a dent in our back bumper. So I was fucked, basically. But the cop was cool about it. He said I didn't seem like the type of guy to hit another car and then drive off on purpose. Apparently I got there just in time though, cause they said if I wasn't back by the time he finished writing the report, they'd have to file it as a hit and run and I'd be arrested. Which would have been cool, really. The dudes at work would have loved that one. But anywho... I went and said sorry to the lady who's car I hit. She acted like she fucking loved having her car hit. She was all laughing and smiling and shit. She said all she wanted was an apology. I checked out the damage to the car... turns out there was no damage to her car. I saw some marks on her bumper that looked more like dirt than anything else. My mom said she wiped the same mark and it was just dust. So basically, they called the cops for NOTHING. Our car had more damage than theirs.
But before I got there there had been a big fight or something. My mom and sister were arguing with the people. I guess they were blaming them for what I did. Some dude called my sister a nigger. Even though he himself was black... then some fat chick called my mother a smartass because my mom said I'm not the type of person so hit someone and drive away. That got everyone pissed and everyone called the cops I guess. Some Mexican dudes came out to tell everyone that they didn't see anything. Thanks for nothing, Mexicans. Then the black dude and Sally got into it. The cops had to tell them to go back to their houses and shit. The black guy almost got clubbed from what I hear. Anywho, they all seemed pretty cool when I went to apologize. No one seemed mad at all. Of course, there was nothing to be mad about since there was NO DAMAGE to their car.
Fuck them.
So I guess the question I must ask myself is this... were the socks worth it?
Yes.
-M
The day started... as soon as I woke up. I got on my Myspace to see a new message from my beloved sister, Saucy Sally. The title of this new message was "She's drinking".
...
But who could she be referring to? I'll be honest- the first thought that popped into my mind was that she was simply referring to herself in the third person. Nope. She was referring to our mother. Apparently, my mom woke up at 7:00 a.m. and started drinking. She said she was allowed to drink because it was also her birthday.
So she went to Saucy Sally's house and started... acting drunk? I dunno. The details were vague. All I got was that Sally had to kick mom out of her house and that mom was scaring Sally's children.
So that caused a commotion. Talk of people canceling Thanksgiving and all that. Lots of people mad at one another. Just like every other holiday. No big deal.
Then we had our dinner. No big deal here either. Sally has a 2 year old and they taught her to scream "No! Please, help me!!", which was very amusing to all of us for awhile.
Then came the nighttime antics. Me and Lando decided we wanted to go out. So we borrowed my moms car. We went to buy new socks. Need em' bad. Blah blah blah. We get back and there's fucking cops everywhere. We try heading into our place, minding our own business when my mom starts running up, screaming. Apparently, when we were backing out of our parking space, we hit another car. I don't remember hitting anyone, but they say they had witnesses and there was, in fact, a dent in our back bumper. So I was fucked, basically. But the cop was cool about it. He said I didn't seem like the type of guy to hit another car and then drive off on purpose. Apparently I got there just in time though, cause they said if I wasn't back by the time he finished writing the report, they'd have to file it as a hit and run and I'd be arrested. Which would have been cool, really. The dudes at work would have loved that one. But anywho... I went and said sorry to the lady who's car I hit. She acted like she fucking loved having her car hit. She was all laughing and smiling and shit. She said all she wanted was an apology. I checked out the damage to the car... turns out there was no damage to her car. I saw some marks on her bumper that looked more like dirt than anything else. My mom said she wiped the same mark and it was just dust. So basically, they called the cops for NOTHING. Our car had more damage than theirs.
But before I got there there had been a big fight or something. My mom and sister were arguing with the people. I guess they were blaming them for what I did. Some dude called my sister a nigger. Even though he himself was black... then some fat chick called my mother a smartass because my mom said I'm not the type of person so hit someone and drive away. That got everyone pissed and everyone called the cops I guess. Some Mexican dudes came out to tell everyone that they didn't see anything. Thanks for nothing, Mexicans. Then the black dude and Sally got into it. The cops had to tell them to go back to their houses and shit. The black guy almost got clubbed from what I hear. Anywho, they all seemed pretty cool when I went to apologize. No one seemed mad at all. Of course, there was nothing to be mad about since there was NO DAMAGE to their car.
Fuck them.
So I guess the question I must ask myself is this... were the socks worth it?
Yes.
-M
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Hell Yeah!!!
HELL YEAH!!!!
my life sucks so bad lately. i mean its almost Christmas and i cant get any work. i mean i go in everyday and they send me home or give me some shit job that does not even need to be done. i mean i was watching a machine to make sure it does not clog and it never did. 12 HOURS OF MY LIFE GONE!
then my glasses broke. it will cost 60$ for a new frame but i have no money because i can not get any work.
then i get up this morning and Maynard hit me in the fucking face. i mean he was playing around (or so he says) and he really fucking hit me.
but dont worry.....dont worry people im going to get maynard back very soon.
HELL YEAHHH!!!
-L
His Legend Begins...
So... Joaquin Phoenix is a rapper now. Or so I hear. He quit acting to be a singer. But I thought he meant like... a country singer or something. According to these pictures, he's a rapper now. You can tell how hardcore he is because Casey Affleck is there and he also brought some black guy to DJ for him.
Bring da mutha fuckin' ruckus, Joaquin.
Apparently they're making a documentary about his transition from actor to hardcore rapper.
Seriously, this guy is doing more crack than is humanly possible.
-M
Bring da mutha fuckin' ruckus, Joaquin.
Apparently they're making a documentary about his transition from actor to hardcore rapper.
Seriously, this guy is doing more crack than is humanly possible.
-M
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Call Of Duty World At War.
So there is this Zombie mode in the game which is pretty awesome. I plan on becoming the best. Here are some tips and stuff i have noticed to try and become the best.
Often when i play with other people in Zombie mode, they say not to open the door to hell or go up the stairs. They are wrong, the further rounds you get on, it is virtually impossible to just kill all the Zombies by just staying in the one room. I've also noticed that if your 3 members are down but you're still alive. You don't actually have to revive them. As long as you get past the Round they come back to life in the next Round.
Round 1
There are 4 Zombies to kill before you go on to Round 2. I use the Colt M1911 to kill those 4 Zombies. This way, your points go up more/so you can buy a better gun or even go through the hell door/up the stairs.
Round 2
9 Zombies to kill, you'll survive by just using the M1 Carbine or Kar 98 k gun. It's all about anticipating the Zombies moves. Move around a lot. Try to stick to the walls.
Round 3
There are roughly 13 or 14 Zombies to kill in this Round. It's your choice whether you go through the door hell or up the stairs. I stuck it out in the same room and survived. Try to get all the Zombies to one side of the room and throw grenades and basically shoot, run and dodge.
Round 4
This is the perfect time to open the door to hell or go up the stairs. There is 18 or 19 Zombies to kill. Basically you'll need a better gun for this. If you go through the door hell, you don't have to worry about the Zombies breaking the hole in the wall, plus you can get the Thompson gun which is pretty good to shoot Zombies from afar. If you decide to go up the stairs, then the M1897 Trench Gun is the perfect gun to kill the Zombies close up with 1 shot.
Round 5
Things start to get tricky now. 22 - 24 Zombies you have to kill in this Round. You also have to worry about the Zombies breaking the whole in the wall, if you chose to open the door to hell earlier on.
Round 6
23 or 24 Zombies to kill, they get faster as well, the further you get on. As i opened the hell door, i stick to the far wall where the Thompson gun is, so i can get ammo for it easier when i run out. I run side to side, again, it's all about anticipating the Zombies moves, checking out of all the Windows from time to time as well.
Round 7
The further the Rounds, the more Zombies there are. 24 or 25 Zombies to kill i think. I was too busy trying to kill them all without counting. This is as far as i got on my own, (i can possibly get further though) but with 4 other members with good guns, and you have a chance to go really far.
Round 8
I'm going to go out on a lim here and say that there is going to be more Zombies at a faster pace, but i don't know for certain for now.
Now this is probably the most important bit of the story.
Every Round, what you do is leave 1 Zombie left. You'll know when there is just 1 Zombie left, by the numbers in each round above. When there is 1 Zombie left, this is the perfect time for you to barricade all the windows/hole in the wall up, dodging past the Zombie. No other Zombies come as long as you leave 1 Zombie left. Then when all the windows/hole are barricaded up, then you kill the Zombie. It will give you a perfect opportunity for the next round to gear up on ammo and get in position!
That's my tips, i hope it's some help.
Ps i call the door hell because it's my story! (i think it secretly says help though).
-Bada
Often when i play with other people in Zombie mode, they say not to open the door to hell or go up the stairs. They are wrong, the further rounds you get on, it is virtually impossible to just kill all the Zombies by just staying in the one room. I've also noticed that if your 3 members are down but you're still alive. You don't actually have to revive them. As long as you get past the Round they come back to life in the next Round.
Round 1
There are 4 Zombies to kill before you go on to Round 2. I use the Colt M1911 to kill those 4 Zombies. This way, your points go up more/so you can buy a better gun or even go through the hell door/up the stairs.
Round 2
9 Zombies to kill, you'll survive by just using the M1 Carbine or Kar 98 k gun. It's all about anticipating the Zombies moves. Move around a lot. Try to stick to the walls.
Round 3
There are roughly 13 or 14 Zombies to kill in this Round. It's your choice whether you go through the door hell or up the stairs. I stuck it out in the same room and survived. Try to get all the Zombies to one side of the room and throw grenades and basically shoot, run and dodge.
Round 4
This is the perfect time to open the door to hell or go up the stairs. There is 18 or 19 Zombies to kill. Basically you'll need a better gun for this. If you go through the door hell, you don't have to worry about the Zombies breaking the hole in the wall, plus you can get the Thompson gun which is pretty good to shoot Zombies from afar. If you decide to go up the stairs, then the M1897 Trench Gun is the perfect gun to kill the Zombies close up with 1 shot.
Round 5
Things start to get tricky now. 22 - 24 Zombies you have to kill in this Round. You also have to worry about the Zombies breaking the whole in the wall, if you chose to open the door to hell earlier on.
Round 6
23 or 24 Zombies to kill, they get faster as well, the further you get on. As i opened the hell door, i stick to the far wall where the Thompson gun is, so i can get ammo for it easier when i run out. I run side to side, again, it's all about anticipating the Zombies moves, checking out of all the Windows from time to time as well.
Round 7
The further the Rounds, the more Zombies there are. 24 or 25 Zombies to kill i think. I was too busy trying to kill them all without counting. This is as far as i got on my own, (i can possibly get further though) but with 4 other members with good guns, and you have a chance to go really far.
Round 8
I'm going to go out on a lim here and say that there is going to be more Zombies at a faster pace, but i don't know for certain for now.
Now this is probably the most important bit of the story.
Every Round, what you do is leave 1 Zombie left. You'll know when there is just 1 Zombie left, by the numbers in each round above. When there is 1 Zombie left, this is the perfect time for you to barricade all the windows/hole in the wall up, dodging past the Zombie. No other Zombies come as long as you leave 1 Zombie left. Then when all the windows/hole are barricaded up, then you kill the Zombie. It will give you a perfect opportunity for the next round to gear up on ammo and get in position!
That's my tips, i hope it's some help.
Ps i call the door hell because it's my story! (i think it secretly says help though).
-Bada
Friday, November 21, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
When Will It Stop?
Okay, I'm still holding out hope that this is not true, but it's looking more and more likely that Will Smith and Steven Spielberg are teaming up with the dude who wrote I Am Legend (the 2007 film starring Smith) to re-create one of this decades best and most interesting films- Oldboy.
Now, I know Frankie Teardrop wasn't a fan, but screw him. He listens to Alan Jackson all day long, I assume. Oldboy was so fucking awesome I couldn't even believe what I was seeing.
It's become less and less often that Americans make a film quite as awesome as Oldboy. Every now and then we'll get something, but the coolest films are being made in Asia. The Departed is one of the coolest movies from the last five years and it was a remake of Infernal Affairs. Lost in Translation is my favorite movie of this decade so far, but the influence In the Mood for Love had on it is undeniable.
Okay, back to Oldboy. I like Smith. I like him more than most film fans (film fans are not the same as movie fans, as I'm sure you know). The dude is talented. Moreso than most people like to admit. But frankly, it'll be a stretch to see him in this role. The main character of Oldboy is pretty unlikeable. Smith loves playing the hero. The guy everyone loves. This will be a much different role. Unless they just change the entire movie, which is pretty impossible. The whole reason the dude was kidnapped was because he was a dick (I'm trying not to really get too into the plot, lest it be ruined for those of you who've never seen it)
Then there's Spielberg. Why not just get Ron Howard to direct it? Spielberg is another talented guy, but come on. He's not dark or tough enough to make this right. Munich was his hardest film, but I think it may have been a fluke. Yes, Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan were hard to sit through during some moments, but Spielberg has a way of fucking up his endings. Case in point- Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan. Just go back and watch those two endings and try not to gag a little. If there's one ending that CANNOT be fucked with, it's the ending to Oldboy. You have to have it or else everything that came before was all for nothing. With Smith and Spielberg... can they do that to their fans? Imagine some mother somewhere taking her kids to see this. She'd have a fucking stroke. Unless they change the ending, which is what I really fear might happen. Smith and Spielberg are just too... nice. They're too nice for this movie. It'll be made by Americans no matter what. But at least get some people who can do it justice. David Fincher and Micky Rourke. Those guys I could see handling this motherfucker.
Here's to hoping that Asian version of Sideways turns out alright.
-Maynard
Now, I know Frankie Teardrop wasn't a fan, but screw him. He listens to Alan Jackson all day long, I assume. Oldboy was so fucking awesome I couldn't even believe what I was seeing.
It's become less and less often that Americans make a film quite as awesome as Oldboy. Every now and then we'll get something, but the coolest films are being made in Asia. The Departed is one of the coolest movies from the last five years and it was a remake of Infernal Affairs. Lost in Translation is my favorite movie of this decade so far, but the influence In the Mood for Love had on it is undeniable.
Okay, back to Oldboy. I like Smith. I like him more than most film fans (film fans are not the same as movie fans, as I'm sure you know). The dude is talented. Moreso than most people like to admit. But frankly, it'll be a stretch to see him in this role. The main character of Oldboy is pretty unlikeable. Smith loves playing the hero. The guy everyone loves. This will be a much different role. Unless they just change the entire movie, which is pretty impossible. The whole reason the dude was kidnapped was because he was a dick (I'm trying not to really get too into the plot, lest it be ruined for those of you who've never seen it)
Then there's Spielberg. Why not just get Ron Howard to direct it? Spielberg is another talented guy, but come on. He's not dark or tough enough to make this right. Munich was his hardest film, but I think it may have been a fluke. Yes, Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan were hard to sit through during some moments, but Spielberg has a way of fucking up his endings. Case in point- Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan. Just go back and watch those two endings and try not to gag a little. If there's one ending that CANNOT be fucked with, it's the ending to Oldboy. You have to have it or else everything that came before was all for nothing. With Smith and Spielberg... can they do that to their fans? Imagine some mother somewhere taking her kids to see this. She'd have a fucking stroke. Unless they change the ending, which is what I really fear might happen. Smith and Spielberg are just too... nice. They're too nice for this movie. It'll be made by Americans no matter what. But at least get some people who can do it justice. David Fincher and Micky Rourke. Those guys I could see handling this motherfucker.
Here's to hoping that Asian version of Sideways turns out alright.
-Maynard
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Thank Goodness
Obama wins. The Republicans rule is almost over. Americans can finally walk with their heads held high.
Well, everywhere except here. Last night at work people were pissed. People in the break room where complaining, saying because of Obama they won't be able to hunt anymore. Then someone said they hope someone kills him soon.
Redneck central, folks. The rest of the entire world in celebrating and I'm stuck with a bunch of hillbillies hoping he dies.
Let's not shit ourselves here folks. Obama isn't entirely going to be able to save us. The Republicans have fucked this country up so badly it's going to take more than four years to fix it. And the Right is going to be all over him. Just like the last eight years have been Clinton's fault (only an idiot would believe that, for the record), the next four years will be Obama's mess. The Right will convince all the rednecks out there that these two moronic wars we're fighting are somehow Obama's fault. The economic crisis is the Democrats fault, etc. etc. Please, for the love of God, don't listen to them when they pull this stuff. Americans should be proud of the decision they've made and our new leader. Just don't forget- we've got a huge hole to crawl out of, Obama didn't cause this mess and it will take a long time to fix all that's wrong.
-M
Well, everywhere except here. Last night at work people were pissed. People in the break room where complaining, saying because of Obama they won't be able to hunt anymore. Then someone said they hope someone kills him soon.
Redneck central, folks. The rest of the entire world in celebrating and I'm stuck with a bunch of hillbillies hoping he dies.
Let's not shit ourselves here folks. Obama isn't entirely going to be able to save us. The Republicans have fucked this country up so badly it's going to take more than four years to fix it. And the Right is going to be all over him. Just like the last eight years have been Clinton's fault (only an idiot would believe that, for the record), the next four years will be Obama's mess. The Right will convince all the rednecks out there that these two moronic wars we're fighting are somehow Obama's fault. The economic crisis is the Democrats fault, etc. etc. Please, for the love of God, don't listen to them when they pull this stuff. Americans should be proud of the decision they've made and our new leader. Just don't forget- we've got a huge hole to crawl out of, Obama didn't cause this mess and it will take a long time to fix all that's wrong.
-M
Friday, October 31, 2008
Halloween Madness
Howdy kittens. Maynard here again to share with you the love.
Halloween. All those ghosts and evil spirits and shit running amok. Who needs it? I didn't even buy candy this year. When you're a kid you think Halloween is great, but once you grow up you realize what a load of shit it is. Why should I buy candy for a bunch of little fucks I don't know? Why should I throw away my hard earned money like that? I didn't. Instead me, Lando, Frankie Teardrop and Saucy Sally went to F.Y.E. They have a little girl that was running around like a maniac so they ended up leaving. They should do a better job of teaching that little girl a lesson. And by "lesson", I mean the kind with violence.
There was this fat chick there that both Lando and I had our eyes on. The chess match for that booty had begun...
See, they have this deal where if you buy two used movies you get a third for free. So that fat chick (who was still do-able) told us about the deal. Me and Lando looked at each other and started looking for some shit worth buying. We found The Lion in Winter, Audition and Memento. So it turns out I didn't have any money. Lando had to pay for it and was macking on that chick, old school. Then she slipped him a free DVD... Howling 3. So when he saw what she gave him he got all pissed. I don't blame him. Who wants that shit? We considered throwing it at some trick or treaters, but chickened out because there was more of them than there was of us.
Later, we went back to Frankie and Sally's. We were going to order some pizza's, but Frankie was too intoxicated to figure it out, so Sally and I went to Burger King, where we ordered like, 9 Whopper Jr.'s (because they're cheaper.... and we're poor) and a Whooper meal. As we were driving away the woman at the drive thru said "Enjoy your meal", to which I replied "I don't get any of these, they're all for her." Sally enjoyed that, but swore revenge.
Fuck it. Halloween is for losers.
Halloween. All those ghosts and evil spirits and shit running amok. Who needs it? I didn't even buy candy this year. When you're a kid you think Halloween is great, but once you grow up you realize what a load of shit it is. Why should I buy candy for a bunch of little fucks I don't know? Why should I throw away my hard earned money like that? I didn't. Instead me, Lando, Frankie Teardrop and Saucy Sally went to F.Y.E. They have a little girl that was running around like a maniac so they ended up leaving. They should do a better job of teaching that little girl a lesson. And by "lesson", I mean the kind with violence.
There was this fat chick there that both Lando and I had our eyes on. The chess match for that booty had begun...
See, they have this deal where if you buy two used movies you get a third for free. So that fat chick (who was still do-able) told us about the deal. Me and Lando looked at each other and started looking for some shit worth buying. We found The Lion in Winter, Audition and Memento. So it turns out I didn't have any money. Lando had to pay for it and was macking on that chick, old school. Then she slipped him a free DVD... Howling 3. So when he saw what she gave him he got all pissed. I don't blame him. Who wants that shit? We considered throwing it at some trick or treaters, but chickened out because there was more of them than there was of us.
Later, we went back to Frankie and Sally's. We were going to order some pizza's, but Frankie was too intoxicated to figure it out, so Sally and I went to Burger King, where we ordered like, 9 Whopper Jr.'s (because they're cheaper.... and we're poor) and a Whooper meal. As we were driving away the woman at the drive thru said "Enjoy your meal", to which I replied "I don't get any of these, they're all for her." Sally enjoyed that, but swore revenge.
Fuck it. Halloween is for losers.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Lost! Again!
Man, I loves me some Lost. Here's the titles of the first six episodes of season five.
Episode 5.01 - Because You Left
Episode 5.02 - The Lie
Episode 5.03 - Jughead
Episode 5.04 - The Little Prince
Episode 5.05 - This Place is Death
Episode 5.06 - The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham
Okay, so it's safe to assume episode six will be about Locke and how he ended up in the casket. Episode three... I dunno. Who has been known as Jughead? Hurley? Fuck it. I can't wait for this shit to come back.
Episode 5.01 - Because You Left
Episode 5.02 - The Lie
Episode 5.03 - Jughead
Episode 5.04 - The Little Prince
Episode 5.05 - This Place is Death
Episode 5.06 - The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham
Okay, so it's safe to assume episode six will be about Locke and how he ended up in the casket. Episode three... I dunno. Who has been known as Jughead? Hurley? Fuck it. I can't wait for this shit to come back.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Stalker Madness
Hello folks. Maynard here with a few updates. Mostly of the stalker variety.
So a few nights ago I was up at about 5:00 a.m. My job requires me to work 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m., so on my days off I'm up all night. Well, I was playing video games and someone knocked on my door. I figure it will be Saucy Sally wanting to go on a walk. So I answer the door and there's this short, fat blond woman crying. I figure, oh shit, she must be hurt or in trouble.
She says, "Uh.., are you alone?" "No", I replied. "Can I come in for a second?", she asked. I tell her to come on in. I go to get my phone because I figure she must have been in a car accident or something. I turn around and she's sitting in my chair, drinking a beer. "Uh...", I say. She asks if she can smoke. I say, "I guess..."
I ask if she needs a phone. She already has one. I ask what's going on. She tells me she lives two towns over and she has no idea how she got here. She said she was drinking and doing drugs all night and when she came too she was wandering the town. She also told me she spent 14 months in a woman's prison.
"Great", I think to myself, "she's going to stab me and rob me." She sits there crying and shit. She asks if I can drive. "Yeah, but I don't have a car with me". This makes her cry even more. She calls some bimbo and asks if she can pick her up. Her bimbo friend tells her she has to go to work and she can't do it.
So this woman (who I really think is The Drunken Whore that was fucking with Frankie Teardrop) asks if I have any brothers or sisters. "Yeah, I have a sister who lives close by", I say. "She got beer?", asks the whore. "No, she doesn't really drink all that much" I lied.
Then she asked if she could borrow some money and I said no. Then I told her Lando would be waking up soon and she had to go. She drank her beer and wandered out the door.
Good story. But it's not over. I'm at work later that night and the next morning when I see Lando he tells me this bitch showed up again. She knocked on the door and when my brother opened it she just walked right in. Lando jumped up and I guess started yelling at her to get out. She said, "Well, can you come out here and keep me company then?" Lando told her he doesn't even know her. So she got mad and said "FINE", and left. Later they saw her banging on someones door and then trying to break in.
Sigh. Oh well, maybe she died.
Our second story begins at work. There's this relatively hot chick at work. There's this weird fucking Jeffery Dahmer looking motherfucker who is obsessed with her at work. She's telling me and my sister that he's been writing her on myspace (she never gave him her myspace) and he's leaving her messages that says "if we're going to go out we better do it soon cause I'm not waiting..."
This dude gives me the fucking creeps. I've seen them in the break room together. He sits down next to her and stares at the wall, never saying a word.
Anywho, so this chick has an idea to make up a new myspace account and pretend she already has a boyfriend. Which was her way of saying, "Maynard, please be my boyfriend and please protect my from this psycho."
To which I replied, "Look, I think you're nice, but you're not my type. You're way too uptight and, frankly, something of a halfwit. But I'm flattered, really."
Then everyone stared at me :(
-M
So a few nights ago I was up at about 5:00 a.m. My job requires me to work 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m., so on my days off I'm up all night. Well, I was playing video games and someone knocked on my door. I figure it will be Saucy Sally wanting to go on a walk. So I answer the door and there's this short, fat blond woman crying. I figure, oh shit, she must be hurt or in trouble.
She says, "Uh.., are you alone?" "No", I replied. "Can I come in for a second?", she asked. I tell her to come on in. I go to get my phone because I figure she must have been in a car accident or something. I turn around and she's sitting in my chair, drinking a beer. "Uh...", I say. She asks if she can smoke. I say, "I guess..."
I ask if she needs a phone. She already has one. I ask what's going on. She tells me she lives two towns over and she has no idea how she got here. She said she was drinking and doing drugs all night and when she came too she was wandering the town. She also told me she spent 14 months in a woman's prison.
"Great", I think to myself, "she's going to stab me and rob me." She sits there crying and shit. She asks if I can drive. "Yeah, but I don't have a car with me". This makes her cry even more. She calls some bimbo and asks if she can pick her up. Her bimbo friend tells her she has to go to work and she can't do it.
So this woman (who I really think is The Drunken Whore that was fucking with Frankie Teardrop) asks if I have any brothers or sisters. "Yeah, I have a sister who lives close by", I say. "She got beer?", asks the whore. "No, she doesn't really drink all that much" I lied.
Then she asked if she could borrow some money and I said no. Then I told her Lando would be waking up soon and she had to go. She drank her beer and wandered out the door.
Good story. But it's not over. I'm at work later that night and the next morning when I see Lando he tells me this bitch showed up again. She knocked on the door and when my brother opened it she just walked right in. Lando jumped up and I guess started yelling at her to get out. She said, "Well, can you come out here and keep me company then?" Lando told her he doesn't even know her. So she got mad and said "FINE", and left. Later they saw her banging on someones door and then trying to break in.
Sigh. Oh well, maybe she died.
Our second story begins at work. There's this relatively hot chick at work. There's this weird fucking Jeffery Dahmer looking motherfucker who is obsessed with her at work. She's telling me and my sister that he's been writing her on myspace (she never gave him her myspace) and he's leaving her messages that says "if we're going to go out we better do it soon cause I'm not waiting..."
This dude gives me the fucking creeps. I've seen them in the break room together. He sits down next to her and stares at the wall, never saying a word.
Anywho, so this chick has an idea to make up a new myspace account and pretend she already has a boyfriend. Which was her way of saying, "Maynard, please be my boyfriend and please protect my from this psycho."
To which I replied, "Look, I think you're nice, but you're not my type. You're way too uptight and, frankly, something of a halfwit. But I'm flattered, really."
Then everyone stared at me :(
-M
Thursday, October 2, 2008
The Fantastic Four 3 Summer 2009
i cant wait to see this one
this movie will kick ass all over town
it looks even better then the 2nd!
this movie will kick ass all over town
it looks even better then the 2nd!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
REVIEW- "Dear Science"
TV on the Radio has pretty much established themselves as the best new band of this decade. Whereas other bands that started out at the same place and time as TVOTR have mostly faded away (The Strokes) or simply have not been able to top their first outings (Interpol, Yeah Yeah Yeahs), TVOTR have become living legends.
Okay, not really. But they're getting there. The first album, Desperate Youths, Blood Thirsty Babes had a ton of promise. But it was their second album which put them in the Radiohead league. Return to Cookie Mountain is a monster album, so chock full of jaw dropping sounds and lyrics, it's already considered a classic by everyone who's heard it.
Their third LP, Dear Science, decides to scale back a little. The sheer bigness of Return to Cookie Mountain is all but gone, replaced with smaller, more user friendly songs. But where the production is smaller, the lyrics are better and overall more consistent. Return to Cookie Mountain sometimes went a little scatterbrain, but Dear Science is pretty consistent throughout.
For the most part, the songs are much dance-ier than ever before. Listening to this album reminds me of 70's era Bowie. Especially the first single "Golden Age". Perhaps it's just the name, but it sounds a lot like Bowie's Golden Years.
TVOTR's biggest strength has always been it's two singers- Tunde Adebimpe and Ky Malone. Like everyone else, Adebimpe is my favorite of the two. But this album in particular seems to be a huge leap forward for him. His voice does things it's never done and his writing is the best it's ever been. Songs like Halfway Home, Shout Me Out and Stork and Owl have some of his best lyrics ever.
Malone does his own thing as well. His songs for the most part seems to be more focused on the personal- love, loss, etc., whereas Adebimpe deals with the quote unquote "Big Issues" of life, death, war, etc.
Overall, it's a very good album. It never takes the risks that Return to Cookie Mountain took, and therefore it's rewards aren't quite as rich. But it doesn't have as high a risk factor of crashing and burning either. There are some surprises along the way though- like Dancing Choose, which is really just a straight up rap song. The second verse is actually the best rap verse I've heard all year. Family Tree manages to out Coldplay Coldpay. The band as a whole sounds tighter than they ever have.
Seriously, it's just a damn good album.
I'll give it a 9.0/10.
Best songs- Crying, Halway Home, Dancing Choose
Worst Song- Red Dress
Okay, not really. But they're getting there. The first album, Desperate Youths, Blood Thirsty Babes had a ton of promise. But it was their second album which put them in the Radiohead league. Return to Cookie Mountain is a monster album, so chock full of jaw dropping sounds and lyrics, it's already considered a classic by everyone who's heard it.
Their third LP, Dear Science, decides to scale back a little. The sheer bigness of Return to Cookie Mountain is all but gone, replaced with smaller, more user friendly songs. But where the production is smaller, the lyrics are better and overall more consistent. Return to Cookie Mountain sometimes went a little scatterbrain, but Dear Science is pretty consistent throughout.
For the most part, the songs are much dance-ier than ever before. Listening to this album reminds me of 70's era Bowie. Especially the first single "Golden Age". Perhaps it's just the name, but it sounds a lot like Bowie's Golden Years.
TVOTR's biggest strength has always been it's two singers- Tunde Adebimpe and Ky Malone. Like everyone else, Adebimpe is my favorite of the two. But this album in particular seems to be a huge leap forward for him. His voice does things it's never done and his writing is the best it's ever been. Songs like Halfway Home, Shout Me Out and Stork and Owl have some of his best lyrics ever.
Malone does his own thing as well. His songs for the most part seems to be more focused on the personal- love, loss, etc., whereas Adebimpe deals with the quote unquote "Big Issues" of life, death, war, etc.
Overall, it's a very good album. It never takes the risks that Return to Cookie Mountain took, and therefore it's rewards aren't quite as rich. But it doesn't have as high a risk factor of crashing and burning either. There are some surprises along the way though- like Dancing Choose, which is really just a straight up rap song. The second verse is actually the best rap verse I've heard all year. Family Tree manages to out Coldplay Coldpay. The band as a whole sounds tighter than they ever have.
Seriously, it's just a damn good album.
I'll give it a 9.0/10.
Best songs- Crying, Halway Home, Dancing Choose
Worst Song- Red Dress
Monday, September 29, 2008
Damn suckers.
Bada is here. Take a bow all.
Bada sent his Ps3 last week to get fixed by some company in England. Finally the Ps3 arrived here today. I got ecstatic. Then i tried to play online, then i realised i needed an ethernet cable. So i looked around the house for one. I couldn't find one anywhere, then my dad said to me. (In a thick Scottish accent) What you looking for? I replied "An ethernet cable" He replied "Yeah i gave that away to your cousin" Damn bastard. So no online play. I could manage a day without no online play. So i decided to play my Xbox 360. Everything was going smoothly, then suddenly i got the "Three Rings Of Death" I can't believe this shit has happened AGAIN. I'm thinking it's a sign. The day i get my Ps3 back and fixed, my Xbox 360 decides to conk out (means broke SUCKERS). So much hate between two consoles, i guess for now the Ps3 wins, that is until i take a SLEDGEHAMMER TO IT!!. I'm kidding.
That's all folks. :)
-Bada.
Bada sent his Ps3 last week to get fixed by some company in England. Finally the Ps3 arrived here today. I got ecstatic. Then i tried to play online, then i realised i needed an ethernet cable. So i looked around the house for one. I couldn't find one anywhere, then my dad said to me. (In a thick Scottish accent) What you looking for? I replied "An ethernet cable" He replied "Yeah i gave that away to your cousin" Damn bastard. So no online play. I could manage a day without no online play. So i decided to play my Xbox 360. Everything was going smoothly, then suddenly i got the "Three Rings Of Death" I can't believe this shit has happened AGAIN. I'm thinking it's a sign. The day i get my Ps3 back and fixed, my Xbox 360 decides to conk out (means broke SUCKERS). So much hate between two consoles, i guess for now the Ps3 wins, that is until i take a SLEDGEHAMMER TO IT!!. I'm kidding.
That's all folks. :)
-Bada.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Life with Lando
Greetings, comrades. Maynard here. Your "man on the inside", so to speak.
First things first- I completely forgot about Painful Loves one year anniversary. It was sometime this month. I think. So... good for us. We made it.
Second, I might not be around much longer. Life with Lando is taking it's toll. Big time.
So I work alot now, as you know. Lando is currently unemployed. He also currently doesn't do shit around the house while I'm working. I come home and there's dog hair all over the damn place. He sure as shit doesn't know how to cook, so it's up to me to make sure he's fed. I asked him what he does all day and he said he mostly lays on the couch all day playing video games.
I'm going bald from the stress. My chest hurts. Sometimes I just stare at him without him knowing and I get so angry I bite down on my lower lip and start bleeding.
So if you read this, Lando, consider this my way of telling you you're out. Time to find a new friend, cause we've taken this thing as far as it will go. You need to get out there and start working on a job. Or at least start taking showers more often.
Goodbye forever,
Maynard
First things first- I completely forgot about Painful Loves one year anniversary. It was sometime this month. I think. So... good for us. We made it.
Second, I might not be around much longer. Life with Lando is taking it's toll. Big time.
So I work alot now, as you know. Lando is currently unemployed. He also currently doesn't do shit around the house while I'm working. I come home and there's dog hair all over the damn place. He sure as shit doesn't know how to cook, so it's up to me to make sure he's fed. I asked him what he does all day and he said he mostly lays on the couch all day playing video games.
I'm going bald from the stress. My chest hurts. Sometimes I just stare at him without him knowing and I get so angry I bite down on my lower lip and start bleeding.
So if you read this, Lando, consider this my way of telling you you're out. Time to find a new friend, cause we've taken this thing as far as it will go. You need to get out there and start working on a job. Or at least start taking showers more often.
Goodbye forever,
Maynard
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Mexican Drag Queens
Hello folks. How's it hanging? Not much going on here. Lots of working. Lots of Dragon Ball Z. ... That's it.
So I'm living in these apartments now. Rent at the other house was too outrageous considering the house was sort of falling apart. So I (and Lando, of course), rented an apartment. Lando is a huge financial and mental burden. But the worst part is the neighbors. Mexican neighbors. Who dress up like girls.
Now, I've never seen them at it, but apparently Lando has along with Saucy Sally and Frankie Teardrop. A week ago Frankie Teardrop was outside with one of his friends and some "drunk whore" from the Mexican drag queens apartment came up to them asking to see some I.D. FT told her to go on home or he'd call the cops. She offered to give him her phone. FT went to call the cops. The Drunk Whore then told him that "rats get beat down".
By who? The Mexican drag queens? Please. They listen to really loud Mexican music and make terrible smelling food. A few weeks ago Lando woke up and smelled something. He thought our dog had taken a shit in the kitchen, but it turned out it was just the Mexican drag queens making breakfast.
I'm wearing thin, my friends. I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!! Really. It's all hillbillies and Mexican drag queens around here. There's these hillbillies that do nothing except sit on their front porch all day. They sit out there from 7:00 a.m. til 1:00 a.m.
Fuck my life.
-M
So I'm living in these apartments now. Rent at the other house was too outrageous considering the house was sort of falling apart. So I (and Lando, of course), rented an apartment. Lando is a huge financial and mental burden. But the worst part is the neighbors. Mexican neighbors. Who dress up like girls.
Now, I've never seen them at it, but apparently Lando has along with Saucy Sally and Frankie Teardrop. A week ago Frankie Teardrop was outside with one of his friends and some "drunk whore" from the Mexican drag queens apartment came up to them asking to see some I.D. FT told her to go on home or he'd call the cops. She offered to give him her phone. FT went to call the cops. The Drunk Whore then told him that "rats get beat down".
By who? The Mexican drag queens? Please. They listen to really loud Mexican music and make terrible smelling food. A few weeks ago Lando woke up and smelled something. He thought our dog had taken a shit in the kitchen, but it turned out it was just the Mexican drag queens making breakfast.
I'm wearing thin, my friends. I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS!! Really. It's all hillbillies and Mexican drag queens around here. There's these hillbillies that do nothing except sit on their front porch all day. They sit out there from 7:00 a.m. til 1:00 a.m.
Fuck my life.
-M
Monday, September 8, 2008
Football is My Life
Okay, not really. I had to work yesterday and missed everything. All I know is that it appears to have been a bittersweet day. Colts lose in embarrassing fashion and Tom Brady might be out for the year. You take the good with the bad, folks.
So anyhow, some predictions for the upcoming season... even though it's not upcoming anymore cause it's here.
Colts (even though they lost) vs. Cowboys in the Superbowl. Colts win, of course. Tony Romo will be the league MVP. Tom Brady will lose an arm in a horrific car accident. And at some point, I'll probably end up with two chicks at the same time.
More later, kittens.
-The Always Classy,
Maynard
So anyhow, some predictions for the upcoming season... even though it's not upcoming anymore cause it's here.
Colts (even though they lost) vs. Cowboys in the Superbowl. Colts win, of course. Tony Romo will be the league MVP. Tom Brady will lose an arm in a horrific car accident. And at some point, I'll probably end up with two chicks at the same time.
More later, kittens.
-The Always Classy,
Maynard
Monday, September 1, 2008
McCain sure can pick'em
What a moron. Sarah Palin? There goes his "Obama has no experience" shit. How can he pull that one with a straight face with Palin as his running mate? She's been a Gov. of some bullshit state for like two years. Before that she was just a mayor of a town with less than 9,000 people. I'm not Biden's biggest fan, but at least the dude has been around the block a time or two. Now Obama/Biden officially has more experience than McCain/Palin.
Plus we just learned Palin's 17 year old unmarried daughter is 5 months pregnant. That'll really rally the conservative base.
McCain is 73. Next year, his first in office if elected, he will be 74. He's had cancer about 4 times. You do the math, fuckers.
It's just a bad move all around picking this bitch. A lot of people think it's brilliant, but it's not. McCain is still Bush's boy and no self respecting Democratic woman will vote for him just because he added some woman to his ticket. Plus she's only from Alaska, which has 3 electoral votes. That's all Biden would bring with Delaware, but like I said, I'm not thrilled with Biden either.
This election is a big letdown so far.
-M
Plus we just learned Palin's 17 year old unmarried daughter is 5 months pregnant. That'll really rally the conservative base.
McCain is 73. Next year, his first in office if elected, he will be 74. He's had cancer about 4 times. You do the math, fuckers.
It's just a bad move all around picking this bitch. A lot of people think it's brilliant, but it's not. McCain is still Bush's boy and no self respecting Democratic woman will vote for him just because he added some woman to his ticket. Plus she's only from Alaska, which has 3 electoral votes. That's all Biden would bring with Delaware, but like I said, I'm not thrilled with Biden either.
This election is a big letdown so far.
-M
Sunday, August 24, 2008
This site sucks....I'M NOT FUCKIN' KIDDIN"
First off I need to say....if you really read this shit you outta be shot. Taken out back and have a bullet planted into the back of your skull. It's better to the alternative...i.e "reading this shit"! What kind of names are Maynard and Lando anyways. O.k...Lando.....just because you choose a name from star wars makes you cool? Come the fuck on man....your the whitest of white....your fuckin' opaque and you choose Billy D. Williams' character. I won't even start on Maynard...I mean..really it's fuckin' as if Mayo got laid by Leonard Nemoy and that's what you got. Give me a break! I hate you. Then you give ME the fake ass twinkle toe name of Frankie "Teardrop"! You fuckin prick! I'm gonna bash you in the teeth with a chinese phonebook. Do you know how many fucking Lee's there are in that damn thing? Your gonna be suckin' soup through a straw for the rest of the year. Next....you bash "YOUR" guy for president...and his choice for V.P. Only a democrat would do that shit. If you really think he cares what you think....your just like he's gonna be at the end of the election......LOST. I can't believe you really like that OLD BOY. Your truly one fucked up individual. Ok....I'm done FOR NOW...but I'll be back. One other thing...this site is as pretty and organized as a bulldog lickin' piss offa the end of a needle. How the fuck can you sleep at night. Fuckers
Yours Truly
The man with whom not to fuck!
Yours Truly
The man with whom not to fuck!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Are You Shitting Me?
Teh lame. Where's Bayh? You pick this old fucker? Fuck you. Have fun losing the election, cock sucker. YOU BLEW IT!!
I mean, you still have my vote, but fuck you.
-M
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Top Ten: Vocalists
Maynard here to share with you the musical goodness. Here's my list of top ten vocalists. Keep in mind this is all just my opinion.
10. Marvin Gaye. Best Vocals: Sexual High (Radiohead mashup... cause it's awesome)
9. Nick Drake. Best Vocals: Fly
8. Bob Dylan. Best Vocals: Subterranean Homesick Blues
7. Jeff Mangum (Neutral Milk Hotel) Best Vocals: Two-Headed Boy Part 2 (I know Mangum's voice isn't very strong, but it's very affecting. And this is a great song, although this video makes it hilarious)
6. Klaus Nomi. Best Vocals: The Nomi Song
5. Tunde Adebimpe (TV on the Radio) Best Vocals: Blind
4. Jim James (My Morning Jacket) Best Vocals: Mahgeetah
3. Jeff Buckley. Best Vocals: Lover, You Should've Come Over
2. David Bowie. Best Vocals: Heroes
1. Thom Yorke (Radiohead) Best Vocals: Life in a Glass House
(really any of Radiohead's songs could have been used here... but this is my favorite Radiohead song and the video has lots of Star Wars stuff... I like Star Wars)
Honorable mention to Maynard James Keened of Tool- Maynard James Keenen (Tool) Best Vocals: Stinkfist
-Maynard
10. Marvin Gaye. Best Vocals: Sexual High (Radiohead mashup... cause it's awesome)
9. Nick Drake. Best Vocals: Fly
8. Bob Dylan. Best Vocals: Subterranean Homesick Blues
7. Jeff Mangum (Neutral Milk Hotel) Best Vocals: Two-Headed Boy Part 2 (I know Mangum's voice isn't very strong, but it's very affecting. And this is a great song, although this video makes it hilarious)
6. Klaus Nomi. Best Vocals: The Nomi Song
5. Tunde Adebimpe (TV on the Radio) Best Vocals: Blind
4. Jim James (My Morning Jacket) Best Vocals: Mahgeetah
3. Jeff Buckley. Best Vocals: Lover, You Should've Come Over
2. David Bowie. Best Vocals: Heroes
1. Thom Yorke (Radiohead) Best Vocals: Life in a Glass House
(really any of Radiohead's songs could have been used here... but this is my favorite Radiohead song and the video has lots of Star Wars stuff... I like Star Wars)
Honorable mention to Maynard James Keened of Tool- Maynard James Keenen (Tool) Best Vocals: Stinkfist
-Maynard
Thursday, August 14, 2008
So What's Up with China?
So I've been really busy for the last week or so, so I haven't been able to keep up with the Olympics like I wanted to, but from what I gather, China seems to be pissing everyone off. Something about the fireworks in the opening ceremony being added digitally, then some girl singing some song wasn't cute enough to be on tv so they replaced her or some shit. Their female gymnastics team is supposed to be full of a bunch of 16 year olds, but rumors have surfaced that they're younger than that.
You know what the best part of taking a shower with a 16 year old girl is? When she gets her hair wet, she looks 14.
Sorry.
Anywho, then they got all pissed off cause some American athletes wore masks when they landed in China. So what? It's fucking disgusting over there. When people in China hit 50 years old they already look like corpses. Every time a Chinese movie comes on tv and an old person shows up in the movie I'm like, "Wait, so now it's about zombies? What's going on?"
Then the whole thing with the Spanish basketball team doing the slant eyes thing. Who cares? It was funny. If you can't laugh at yourselves, China, you'll never overtake America as the world's Number One. We Americans laugh at ourselves all the time, but that doesn't mean we don't kick it real.
Anywho, who cares about any of this shit? The only thing worth watching is the American basketball team try to redeem themselves for that garbage from the last Olympics. It's time for America to get back to Awesome.
Americans- kickin' it super real since 1776, MUTHA!!
-M
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Obama/Bayh 08
Evan Bayh is my main man, y'all. And I called him being the VP pick since... well, since I heard he wasn't running for President. Looks like I just might be right. Pretty much all of the major news stations around the U.S. are talking it up. Obama was in Indiana today and called Bayh "one of our very best senators."
Fuck. Yes.
How is Bayh not the very best possible choice for VP? He's a centrist, which Obama needs to get over with. No one is going to be calling Evan Bayh "too liberal."
He's got serious experience, what with being the best Governor in Indiana history, and probably the best senator too. He knows the economy. He has foreign experience. Looking at his credentials, he's just perfect. He is exactly what Obama needs. He will guaranteed bring Indiana in the general election and probably Ohio too. This election is going to be decided by the Independents and Bayh will lasso those suckers in unlike anyone else. I bet there will be a few Republicans who might switch to an Obama/Bayh ticket too. McCain just isn't their guy.
A lot of people want Joe Biden to get the nomination. I guess he'd be alright, but alot of people kind of think he's a little off balance.
Then there are the Wesley Clark fans. He's got the military experience to battle McCain on, but I think they could use the "too liberal" attack on him.
And Jim Webb has his fans. But again, too off balanced. The dude admits to carrying a gun around with him from time to time. That'll turn off Obama's liberal supporters.
Bayh is the safe choice, but he's also the right choice.
Plus, he's young looking. People love young people. McCain will be 73 next year for fucks sake. Obama and Bayh both have young children. People love children.
Bayh is the man for the job.
Fuck yeah.
-M
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Birthday Madness
August 1st. Yesterday. My birthday. I turned 24. Very depressing. Seems like just yesterday I turned 18, but that was 6 years ago. Another 6 years I'll be 30.
...
Probably bald, too.
So anywho, I stayed at my sister's on the 31st, so I woke up at her place on my birthday. She and her husband were getting into all sorts of hijinks. Won't get into it. I'm never getting married.
Had to go to work. They told me I'd be working the next day (which is today) They told me I don't get off work until 11:00 p.m. and they expected me to be there again at 7:00 a.m. and that I'd be working a 12 hour shift. So I was pissed all day.
Got home. Nothing to eat or drink in the house. Lando was home all day... I put two and two together and realized he screwed me.
Couldn't sleep. Tried to go to bed at 11:30 but at 2:30 I was still wide awake. No idea when I fell asleep but when I eventually woke up at about 6:00 it felt like I'd been asleep for about 5 minutes.
I didn't go in to work today. Fuck them.
Bad birthday. Terrible year overall for me.
Hope it gets better from here on in.
I fear I shall not make it to the end of the year going like this.
-M
...
Probably bald, too.
So anywho, I stayed at my sister's on the 31st, so I woke up at her place on my birthday. She and her husband were getting into all sorts of hijinks. Won't get into it. I'm never getting married.
Had to go to work. They told me I'd be working the next day (which is today) They told me I don't get off work until 11:00 p.m. and they expected me to be there again at 7:00 a.m. and that I'd be working a 12 hour shift. So I was pissed all day.
Got home. Nothing to eat or drink in the house. Lando was home all day... I put two and two together and realized he screwed me.
Couldn't sleep. Tried to go to bed at 11:30 but at 2:30 I was still wide awake. No idea when I fell asleep but when I eventually woke up at about 6:00 it felt like I'd been asleep for about 5 minutes.
I didn't go in to work today. Fuck them.
Bad birthday. Terrible year overall for me.
Hope it gets better from here on in.
I fear I shall not make it to the end of the year going like this.
-M
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Still alive
And still mad nigger-ish as ever. Lando too.
Been very busy. Work and all. And next week I'm going to 12 hour days. The week after that I'm supposed to start 12 hour days, 5 days a week.
In other words, I'm on the cusp of quitting my job. I'm not doing that shit. 12 hours a day, 5 days a week? Yeah, I'll do that once chicks stop throwing themselves at my feet.
In other words, never.
-Maynard
Been very busy. Work and all. And next week I'm going to 12 hour days. The week after that I'm supposed to start 12 hour days, 5 days a week.
In other words, I'm on the cusp of quitting my job. I'm not doing that shit. 12 hours a day, 5 days a week? Yeah, I'll do that once chicks stop throwing themselves at my feet.
In other words, never.
-Maynard
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Games i Cant Wait for
Ok so there are lots of great games coming out this year and next, so this is just a list of a few that i believe will kick all the ass so, here we go.
God of War 3 on the PS3
Prototype on Xbox360
Fable 2 Xbox360
Call of Duty: World at War Xbox360
Resident Evil 5 Xbox360
Ok so this is all i could think of for now, i may add more later.
Bye bye
-Lando
God of War 3 on the PS3
Prototype on Xbox360
Fable 2 Xbox360
Call of Duty: World at War Xbox360
Resident Evil 5 Xbox360
Ok so this is all i could think of for now, i may add more later.
Bye bye
-Lando
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Flashbacks vol. 3
Oi there mates. Maynard here. We haven't done a flashback since April. Don't know why we stopped, but I'll do another. I was going to write about my job, but fuck it. It's boring. They have us in these classes. Today we took our "Big Test", and guess what? I scored a perfect 100%. The lady teaching us was all like, "Whoa, cool."
No she wasn't. But she did tell the class that it's very rare to get a 100%. I don't see why. I just fucking cheated. Right in front of everyone. My book was right there and I didn't know the answer to a few things so I opened that fucker up and copied it straight from there. This other guy did that too he said, but somehow he still got the answers wrong.
Anywho, so the flashback. This one is from a few years ago when I was in school. So I was taking this test. English, if memory serves. So I'm sitting there, doing my business, etc. etc., hand in my paper and wait for the results. The teacher tells me I got 100%. I did another test that day and got 100% on that one too. She was impressed and asked me for a date.
No she didn't, but she was impressed I did so well.
Next day, I go in and all the teachers were really impressed that I did so well with my English and writing and stuff. They started calling me Mr. 100. And sadly, that is the coolest nickname I've ever been given.
So I was all like, "Fuck yeah." I was so awesome. I was the illest sucker in that classroom.
Then I did a math test and scored 30% on it :( Mr. 100 was dead.
Until now.
So tomorrow I'm going in to work with a t-shirt that says Mr 100 on it. It won't be like something I bought at the store or anything. I have to use a marker to draw the words, but still... everyone will know who I am.
-M
P.S.- Oh, some chick called me a candyass for scoring 100% today. That's America for you- show the lightest bit of intelligence (even if you cheated to do it), and you're looked down upon.
P.P.S.- And don't ask me how I scored 100% on the English and writing cause I don't know. I didn't cheat, but it was a total fluke. Anyone who actually reads this blog ought to know that.
No she wasn't. But she did tell the class that it's very rare to get a 100%. I don't see why. I just fucking cheated. Right in front of everyone. My book was right there and I didn't know the answer to a few things so I opened that fucker up and copied it straight from there. This other guy did that too he said, but somehow he still got the answers wrong.
Anywho, so the flashback. This one is from a few years ago when I was in school. So I was taking this test. English, if memory serves. So I'm sitting there, doing my business, etc. etc., hand in my paper and wait for the results. The teacher tells me I got 100%. I did another test that day and got 100% on that one too. She was impressed and asked me for a date.
No she didn't, but she was impressed I did so well.
Next day, I go in and all the teachers were really impressed that I did so well with my English and writing and stuff. They started calling me Mr. 100. And sadly, that is the coolest nickname I've ever been given.
So I was all like, "Fuck yeah." I was so awesome. I was the illest sucker in that classroom.
Then I did a math test and scored 30% on it :( Mr. 100 was dead.
Until now.
So tomorrow I'm going in to work with a t-shirt that says Mr 100 on it. It won't be like something I bought at the store or anything. I have to use a marker to draw the words, but still... everyone will know who I am.
-M
P.S.- Oh, some chick called me a candyass for scoring 100% today. That's America for you- show the lightest bit of intelligence (even if you cheated to do it), and you're looked down upon.
P.P.S.- And don't ask me how I scored 100% on the English and writing cause I don't know. I didn't cheat, but it was a total fluke. Anyone who actually reads this blog ought to know that.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
I thought he was a genius
So Quentin Tanantino finished his script for Inglorious Bastards. Or maybe it's Inglorious Basterds. Cause that's how he spells it. I read on his IMDb page that he has an IQ of like 160, which would put him at the genius level. But after reading what few snippets that have leaked from the script, it just seems... like his IQ isn't 160.
Here's a bit of the script that has leaked, written by QT himself.
"My name is Lt. Aldo Raine, and I’m putting together a special team. And I need me eight soldiers. Eight – Jewish – American – Soldiers. Now y’all might have heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we’ll be leavin a little earlier. We’re gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we’re in enemy territory, as a bushwackin’ guerilla army, we’re gonna be doin one thing, and thing only, Killin Nazi’s. The members of the Nationalist Socialist Party, have conquered Europe through murder, torture, intimidation, and terror. And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do to them. Now I don’t know about y’all. But I sure as hell, didn’t come down from the goddamn smoky mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half Sicily, and then jump out of a fuckin air-o-plane, to teach the Nazi’s lessons in humanity. Nazi ain’t got no humanity. There the foot soldiers of a Jew hatin, mass murderin manic, and they need to be destroyed. That’s why any and every son-of-a-bitch we find wearin a Nazi uniform, there gonna die. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty, they will know who we are. They will find the evidence of our cruelty, in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the German will not be able to help themselves from imagining the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heals, and the edge of our knives. And the Germans, will be sickened by us. And the Germans, will talk about us. And the Germans, will fear us. And when the Germans close their eyes at night, and their subconscious tortures them for the evil they’ve done, it will be with thoughts of us, that it tortures them with. But I got a word of warning to all would be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me, personally. Every man under my command, owes me, one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y’all will git me, one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred Nazi’s or you will die trying. -Lt. Aldo Raine aka Aldo the Apache"
Yeah. I think he means "they're", not "there." Plus all the comma's and shit like that... c'mon man, you won an Oscar.
My brother in law, Frankie Teardrop, told me just the other day that Tarantino isn't all there. He told me this cause he hated Oldboy and I love Oldboy. I told him Tarantino loved Oldboy as well. Then he suggested Tarantino is a drug addict. And this script pretty much proves him right.
Point is, Frankie Teardrop needs to start liking cooler movies.
Back to Inglorious Basterds... Tarantino wants Brad Pitt to play the guy who gave that little speech. Cause whenever you think of Jewish WW2 vets, you think Brad Pitt.
Anywho, this sounds like it'll be another Kill Bill like movie. Meaning it'll be entertaining but it won't be the Pulp Fiction like masterpiece we're all hoping Tarantino can give us once more before he OD's.
Here's hoping it'll be better than it sounds.
-M
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
So today sucked
Hello friends. So today I had to go to that court thing again to get my sentence. This really flamboyant judge came out and did a bunch of crap that I didn't pay much attention to.
They called me up there and blah blah blah. I plead guilty and now I have to pay 248 dollars by October and I have to take a driving class. And I'm on cap and monitor for a year. So that sucks. I have my first thingy tomorrow. So... that sucks. Plus there was this old deputy guy that tapped me with a pen because my hands were in my pockets. I thought he wanted me to show him my one hand, so I did. He stared at me with his mouth agape. Then I realized what he wanted. Screw him.
Then I finally got a new job. I start Monday. Most people would think this is good, but not me. It's like, something with paper. Magazines and stuff. I'll be making them. Physically. 12 hour days after two or three weeks. Wonder how long that will last? ;)
Cause I ain't doin' it for long.
-M
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Southerners warned us
Now they're all runnin' around pullin' hijinks like this.
Sorry. I'm really not a racist. Seriously.
How Not To Fake A Heart Attack - Watch more free videos
Sorry. I'm really not a racist. Seriously.
How Not To Fake A Heart Attack - Watch more free videos
Friday, July 4, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
I am Fucked
Went to court today for that speeding ticket. Plus I didn't have insurance. Why? Cause fuck insurance. I'm not made of money. Lando is the one who goes around calling himself MAN money all the time, so I figured, fuck it. Let Lando pay my court fees and the insurance. Turned out he didn't do either.
So I'm fucked. They offered to let me pay a 1000$ fine and take driving classes, so I agreed to that. But then the judge told me I have to come back in on the 9th of this month and I'd better have insurance or I have to turn my tags in.
So... fuck it. I'd rather go to jail. It's not even my car!! Which I assumed they knew. I have no idea what is going on. Am I still doing the 1000$ fine and taking driving classes? I can only assume so. But if I get insured, maybe they'll drop the 1000$.
But I'm almost 100% sure they won't. I'm 95% sure I'm fucked and I'm 80% sure this is not my fault.
Thanks for nothing guys. Thanks for nothing.
-Maynard
So I'm fucked. They offered to let me pay a 1000$ fine and take driving classes, so I agreed to that. But then the judge told me I have to come back in on the 9th of this month and I'd better have insurance or I have to turn my tags in.
So... fuck it. I'd rather go to jail. It's not even my car!! Which I assumed they knew. I have no idea what is going on. Am I still doing the 1000$ fine and taking driving classes? I can only assume so. But if I get insured, maybe they'll drop the 1000$.
But I'm almost 100% sure they won't. I'm 95% sure I'm fucked and I'm 80% sure this is not my fault.
Thanks for nothing guys. Thanks for nothing.
-Maynard
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Larry Bird, you bastard
What is wrong with you? Fucking asshole. You really are. Where do you get off??
So the other day, Indiana Pacers GM Larry Bird made one of the best trade ever. He got rid of that absolute faggot Jermaine O'Neal and got a pretty good point guard, T.J. Ford, plus some other guy who won't really help us at all, along with the 17th overall pick in the NBA Draft. Bird was my man when this happened. It was about as perfect as it gets. We got a point guard, which was our biggest need and we got another fairly high draft pick (we already had the 11th). Plus we dropped 44 million dollars worth of nothing.
And then the draft happened. Things were going well. Better than I could have ever hoped for. When the 11th pick came around, Jerryd Bayless was still on board. What a coup!! I actually thought he was the second best PG in this years draft. I never could have hoped we'd land him. Now it was time for Bird to either shine or make an idiot of himself. To my delight, the Pacers picked Bayless. I literally jumped up and yelled "YES!!" Bayless didn't seem too happy with where he was going, but fuck him. He'd be a great asset to our team. Of course, some people thought this was odd. Why pick Bayless when we already have a perfectly good PG? Because, moron, Ford gets injured alot. I had it all planned out. Bayless would spend this year learning from a very solid PG while still helping out in a major way by coming off the bench. And when Ford inevitably gets injured, we'd have a great young rookie filling in for him. Two good point guards are better than one. Cause we all know the Pacers point guard situation last year was tragic. But here it was. We had Ford and Bayless. We went from having one of the worst point guard situations in the league to having two of the best in the league. I was over the moon.
Then word came in- Bird had traded Bayless. Wh-what? What? WHAT?! WHY?!To who? Turns out it was to Portland. For their 13th overall pick, Brandon Rush.
Okay... why would anyone do that? Jerryd Bayless is better than Brandon Rush. But wait, we also got Jerrett Jack. A just okay point guard.
We don't need either of them. We had an exceptional point guard that we had just drafted. We don't need Brandon Rush. We already have Danny Granger and Mike Dunlevy Jr. Plus some pretty good reserves already, including Rush's older brother, Kareem Rush.
So I was pissed. I wanted Bayless. Having Bayless was better than either or both of those guys. No offense to Rush, I'm sure he'll be a solid player, but this league has become a league of point guards. You can't expect to win a championship without some great point guards. Ford and Bayless working together would have made us the envy of all the NBA. Instead we downgrade one point guard and get another guard/forward who we didn't need. What a moron Bird is.
As for the 17th pick, this was a real head scratcher. Roy Hibbert? What about Kosta Koufos? Or Darrell Arthur? We needed a big man (a center, now that I think of it), but Hibbert? He won't fit in with O'Brien's offense. Kosta Koufus was, what I thought, the obvious choice here. But whatever. I hope Bird knows something about these three players that I don't. But I doubt it.
As for the rest of the draft-
New York fans, shut the fuck up. You got a GREAT player. I'd love to have Danilo. He's too good for you ungrateful bastards.
Darrell Arthur went way too low. What a fucking steal.
Michael Beasley went exactly where he should have. Pat Riley has lost it if he even considers trading this pick. He'll never live it down. This guy, barring injury, is going to be the rookie of the year.
Alright, I'm pretty pissed and sleepy, so I'll get off now. I just had to vent. I really was, for the first time in about 5 years, really excited for the Pacers upcoming season. Now... well, I feel how I always feel now. "Here comes another season of trying to steal the 8th seed in the East..."
-Maynard
So the other day, Indiana Pacers GM Larry Bird made one of the best trade ever. He got rid of that absolute faggot Jermaine O'Neal and got a pretty good point guard, T.J. Ford, plus some other guy who won't really help us at all, along with the 17th overall pick in the NBA Draft. Bird was my man when this happened. It was about as perfect as it gets. We got a point guard, which was our biggest need and we got another fairly high draft pick (we already had the 11th). Plus we dropped 44 million dollars worth of nothing.
And then the draft happened. Things were going well. Better than I could have ever hoped for. When the 11th pick came around, Jerryd Bayless was still on board. What a coup!! I actually thought he was the second best PG in this years draft. I never could have hoped we'd land him. Now it was time for Bird to either shine or make an idiot of himself. To my delight, the Pacers picked Bayless. I literally jumped up and yelled "YES!!" Bayless didn't seem too happy with where he was going, but fuck him. He'd be a great asset to our team. Of course, some people thought this was odd. Why pick Bayless when we already have a perfectly good PG? Because, moron, Ford gets injured alot. I had it all planned out. Bayless would spend this year learning from a very solid PG while still helping out in a major way by coming off the bench. And when Ford inevitably gets injured, we'd have a great young rookie filling in for him. Two good point guards are better than one. Cause we all know the Pacers point guard situation last year was tragic. But here it was. We had Ford and Bayless. We went from having one of the worst point guard situations in the league to having two of the best in the league. I was over the moon.
Then word came in- Bird had traded Bayless. Wh-what? What? WHAT?! WHY?!To who? Turns out it was to Portland. For their 13th overall pick, Brandon Rush.
Okay... why would anyone do that? Jerryd Bayless is better than Brandon Rush. But wait, we also got Jerrett Jack. A just okay point guard.
We don't need either of them. We had an exceptional point guard that we had just drafted. We don't need Brandon Rush. We already have Danny Granger and Mike Dunlevy Jr. Plus some pretty good reserves already, including Rush's older brother, Kareem Rush.
So I was pissed. I wanted Bayless. Having Bayless was better than either or both of those guys. No offense to Rush, I'm sure he'll be a solid player, but this league has become a league of point guards. You can't expect to win a championship without some great point guards. Ford and Bayless working together would have made us the envy of all the NBA. Instead we downgrade one point guard and get another guard/forward who we didn't need. What a moron Bird is.
As for the 17th pick, this was a real head scratcher. Roy Hibbert? What about Kosta Koufos? Or Darrell Arthur? We needed a big man (a center, now that I think of it), but Hibbert? He won't fit in with O'Brien's offense. Kosta Koufus was, what I thought, the obvious choice here. But whatever. I hope Bird knows something about these three players that I don't. But I doubt it.
As for the rest of the draft-
New York fans, shut the fuck up. You got a GREAT player. I'd love to have Danilo. He's too good for you ungrateful bastards.
Darrell Arthur went way too low. What a fucking steal.
Michael Beasley went exactly where he should have. Pat Riley has lost it if he even considers trading this pick. He'll never live it down. This guy, barring injury, is going to be the rookie of the year.
Alright, I'm pretty pissed and sleepy, so I'll get off now. I just had to vent. I really was, for the first time in about 5 years, really excited for the Pacers upcoming season. Now... well, I feel how I always feel now. "Here comes another season of trying to steal the 8th seed in the East..."
-Maynard
Monday, June 23, 2008
Final NBA Draft predictions
Hey, remember the last time I predicted the NBA Draft? Where I said O.J. Mayo would fall to number six? Yeah. The more I thought about it the more foolish I felt about the whole thing. So I'm redoing it, hoping to get it right this time. Let's see how I do.
1. Derrick Rose- Bulls
2. Michael Beasley- Heat (although some say the Heat will do anything in their power to get Mayo)
3. O.J. Mayo- Timberwolves
4. Jerryd Bayless- SuperSonics
5. Kevin love- Grizzles
6. Eric Gordon- Knicks
7. Joe Alexander- Clippers
8. Russell Westbrook- Bucks
9. Brook Lopez- Bobcats
10. Danilo Gallinari- Nets (I think he'll be great but I had him at number three last time...)
11. D.J. Augustin- Pacers
12. Anthony Randolph- Kings
13. Brandon Rush- Trailblazers
14. Kosta Koufos- Warriors.
There. I think that looks pretty good. It feels right. Now we'll just have to wait and see.
-M.
1. Derrick Rose- Bulls
2. Michael Beasley- Heat (although some say the Heat will do anything in their power to get Mayo)
3. O.J. Mayo- Timberwolves
4. Jerryd Bayless- SuperSonics
5. Kevin love- Grizzles
6. Eric Gordon- Knicks
7. Joe Alexander- Clippers
8. Russell Westbrook- Bucks
9. Brook Lopez- Bobcats
10. Danilo Gallinari- Nets (I think he'll be great but I had him at number three last time...)
11. D.J. Augustin- Pacers
12. Anthony Randolph- Kings
13. Brandon Rush- Trailblazers
14. Kosta Koufos- Warriors.
There. I think that looks pretty good. It feels right. Now we'll just have to wait and see.
-M.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Lando needs help
Hey idiots ^__________^ Maynard here. You know... I know this guy. This guy we'll call Lando. I've known Lando forever. But lately, I've been thinking about ending our friendship. He's getting too weird. He keeps telling me about these dreams he has. These terrible, terrible dreams. The other night he told me about a dream he had where he and I were hitmen hired to kill this assassin. But it turns out the assassin was my sister. He found her sleeping in the back of a van. I grabbed a machine gun and shot at the van but missed. So Lando grabbed the gun and shot her dozens of time, killing her. I asked him why we would go through with killing my own sister. He told me it was because we wanted the money. He also said he took no pleasure in killing my sister and looked away when he pulled the trigger.
One time he had a dream where he and I were tapped to join a international supergroup of spies or some shit. Like, we were pre-destined to save the world. It was Lando, me, my friend Brian and some Mexican chick that found us and told us our destinies. Our very first mission we had to stop a bomb from blowing up some factory or something. So Lando was driving the van (why a van??) and the other three ran up some steps to get to the bomb. But Lando noticed it was taking too long and we couldn't stop the bomb. So he drove away and saw a huge explosion in his rearview mirror. Then... well, I'd better not say.
Another time he told me about a dream where we were running from the cops or the Government or something. We were hiding in a trailer and they were surrounding us. Lando tells me to run and he'll hold them off. So I did. Then Lando turned into a robot. But the robot looked like a black guy. Then he made himself blow up, but the explosion was like an atom bomb. So I probably died anyways.
Anyways, they say dreams are a window into ones conscience. If that is the case, I think you can understand why I can no longer know you, Lando. Goodbye forever. I'm changing the password to our site so you can't post anymore.
-M
One time he had a dream where he and I were tapped to join a international supergroup of spies or some shit. Like, we were pre-destined to save the world. It was Lando, me, my friend Brian and some Mexican chick that found us and told us our destinies. Our very first mission we had to stop a bomb from blowing up some factory or something. So Lando was driving the van (why a van??) and the other three ran up some steps to get to the bomb. But Lando noticed it was taking too long and we couldn't stop the bomb. So he drove away and saw a huge explosion in his rearview mirror. Then... well, I'd better not say.
Another time he told me about a dream where we were running from the cops or the Government or something. We were hiding in a trailer and they were surrounding us. Lando tells me to run and he'll hold them off. So I did. Then Lando turned into a robot. But the robot looked like a black guy. Then he made himself blow up, but the explosion was like an atom bomb. So I probably died anyways.
Anyways, they say dreams are a window into ones conscience. If that is the case, I think you can understand why I can no longer know you, Lando. Goodbye forever. I'm changing the password to our site so you can't post anymore.
-M
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
I Broke a Guys Finger
So a few weeks a go I was playing around with the old football with some people. We were having a great time and I was playing like never before. I was doing so great that girls wanted to be all over me but then everything went down hill.
I passed the ball to an IDIOT and he messed it all up. Now I had no idea this ASSHOLE did not know how to catch a ball, but it turns out he cant for shit. Anyways the ball ended up hitting his finger and chipping his bone. It was funny as hell but also pissed me off more then anything, because I hate it when people mess up my pass.
Oh yeah and I got a new job.
It SUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKS!.
With Painful Love
-Lando
I passed the ball to an IDIOT and he messed it all up. Now I had no idea this ASSHOLE did not know how to catch a ball, but it turns out he cant for shit. Anyways the ball ended up hitting his finger and chipping his bone. It was funny as hell but also pissed me off more then anything, because I hate it when people mess up my pass.
Oh yeah and I got a new job.
It SUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKS!.
With Painful Love
-Lando
Saturday, June 7, 2008
REVIEW- My Morning Jacket- Evil Urges
Is it just me or does that look like John McCain from behind in that picture?
Alright, a little bit of history here- I didn't get into My Morning Jacket until Z came out in 2005. I, like everyone else, thought it was pretty great. Then I went back into their older albums and found that Z was actually just a little disappointing. It Still Moves was a masterpiece. At Dawn and The Tennessee Fire were both as good if not better than Z. So I wasn't sure what to expect from Evil Urges. I absolutely love their old hillbilly ways, but I hate it when a band doesn't try to change. But after hearing what came before it, Z seemed like a bad decision as far as experimenting goes. The best songs from that album, Lay Low and Knot Comes Loose, sounded like they could have been on their older albums.
So I've been listening to Evil Urges for a few days now and I'm finally starting to figure out what I want to say about it. It, like Z, is kind of a disappointment. In a way.
It's not a bad album at all, it's just sort of boring. It starts off pretty good with the title track. Jim James does his best Prince impersonation. The whole track sounds more like Z than anything else from this album. Lots of atmosphere. But in a good way. It changes it's sound three or four times throughout. It's basically MMJ saying "Look what we can do!!" Well, everything except the stupid deep voice that says "I'm ready for it nowwww" near the end. This song would have been close to a 10/10 without that shit.
"Touch Me I'm Going to Scream Part 1" is next and it sounds like straight up Roxy Music. It's the most interesting song on the album. It's hard to explain how it sounds. Just think MMJ doing Roxy Music with a nice portion of The Flaming Lips and you'll pretty much get it.
Then comes Highly Suspicious. The worst song they've ever done. It's pure garbage and they never should have fucking made it, let alone put it on the most important album of their career. It sounds like that awful song "Word Up"
After that things change. Their first three songs sounded like a continuation of Z. But then they go backwards. After that we get lots of songs that could have been on any of their first three albums, expect they also sound like old 70's soul songs. It's like, the songs are good but really mellow. After the twists and turns of the first three songs, why get so mellow?? It's kind of boring. One of my biggest, and shallowest, problems with this album is that there's nothing that kicks as much ass as Lay Low. Mostly it's just Jim James sounding like he's half asleep. The songs are nice, like I said, but what the hell are they doing here?
It's here that I start to think MMJ doesn't have a clue what they're doing. This album sounds like a 15 year olds first 4 track recording. They just write a bunch of songs, some go together, some don't, and they just throw them all together on the same record. Some bands can handle doing lots of different styles on a single album, but with Evil Urges it just ends up seeming disjointed. The first part, the middle and that last section all sound like they belong on different albums.
The last two songs on the album, Smokin' from Shootin' and Touch Me I'm Going to Scream Part 2 are a great one two punch to end this album, but after everything that comes before it you get the sense they were written for something completely different.
Remember how I said I like when a band expands it's sound? MMJ have always had a problem doing this. They can't seem to figure out how to expand their OWN sound. When they try to be different they just copy other peoples sounds. Z, their "breakthrough", sounded like Coldplay at times. On this record they sound like everyone from Prince (Evil Urges) to James Taylor (Sec Walkin, which is probably the best song on the whole album), to Jack White (Librarian). When Radiohead and Wilco changed directions with their sound, it sounded right. It sounded like the next logical step they'd take. With My Morning Jacket, it sounds like they're just taking influences and just jamming them on their records. I still love this band and I know I've spent a lot of time complaining about this album but it really isn't bad. Hell, a lot of it sounds like it would be pretty good music for a small road trip at least. It's just not the huge step we all have been hoping they'd take. These are mostly good songs but next time, please MMJ, be yourselves. You guys were best when you weren't trying to be other people.
7.0/10. Best songs- "Sec Walkin", "Smokin' from Shootin'", "Thank You Too"
Worst songs- "Highly Suspicious", Remnants"
-M
Friday, June 6, 2008
Speeding is cool
And that's why I do it all the time. I'm not going to lie to you guy- I get all the girls and make shitloads of money while I'm at it. A guy like me has a real need for speed. I drive fast and I love hard.
Unfortunately, "The Man" doesn't think speeding is as cool as I do. I got pulled over the other night for doing 70 in a 55. Whatever. Like I even noticed. The guy that pulled me over doesn't know how to party like I know how to party. Plus he had no sense of humor.
So anyways, I have to go to court on July 1. Then I'll have to give up some of my big $$$$$$ and probably have to take a driving test or something. Shit son, I move so fast they won't even know I'm there. LOL >:~D
-Maynard
Unfortunately, "The Man" doesn't think speeding is as cool as I do. I got pulled over the other night for doing 70 in a 55. Whatever. Like I even noticed. The guy that pulled me over doesn't know how to party like I know how to party. Plus he had no sense of humor.
So anyways, I have to go to court on July 1. Then I'll have to give up some of my big $$$$$$ and probably have to take a driving test or something. Shit son, I move so fast they won't even know I'm there. LOL >:~D
-Maynard
Thursday, June 5, 2008
NBA Finals predictions
Alright, I suck at these. First I predicted the Spurs, then the Celtics, then the Spurs again. Fuck this shit. The NBA wanted these Finals and they did whatever they had to to make sure they happened. Fuckers.
Lakers in 7. Why? I dunno. Stern wants a new Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant is as close as he'll get so maybe... just maybe... he'll make sure they win.
In other NBA news- the Miami Heat should totally trade Dwayne Wade to the Bulls for the number one pick in the draft and then take Derrik Rose and Michael Beasley and just rock that shit out all season.
The Indiana Pacers, if given the chance, should absolutely take Russell Westbrook over D.J. Augustin. In fact, they should trade Jermaine O'Neal to the Cavs for Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Anderson Varejao plus the 19th overall pick and grab Bill Walker with that shit. I read a rumor that that might happen (although they made no mention of who they'd try to pick if they could make the deal)
Here's my predictions for the first 14 picks in the NBA draft. Watch this shit.
1. Derrik Rose- Bulls
2. Michael Beasley- Heat
3. Danilo Gallinari- Timberwolves
4. Jerryd Bayless- Supersonics
5. Brook Lopez- Grizzlies
6. O.J. Mayo- Knicks (I don't know if he'll fall this far or not)
7. Eric Gordon- Clippers
8. Anthony Randolph- Bucks
9. Kevin Love- Bobcats
10. Russell Westbrook- Nets
11. D.J. Augustin- Pacers (but like I said, if they have the choice they should absolutely go with Westbrook)
12. Donte Green- Kings
13. Joe Alexander- Trailblazers
14. DeAndre Jordan- Warriors
No idea how it'll play out. We'll see.
-M
Lakers in 7. Why? I dunno. Stern wants a new Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant is as close as he'll get so maybe... just maybe... he'll make sure they win.
In other NBA news- the Miami Heat should totally trade Dwayne Wade to the Bulls for the number one pick in the draft and then take Derrik Rose and Michael Beasley and just rock that shit out all season.
The Indiana Pacers, if given the chance, should absolutely take Russell Westbrook over D.J. Augustin. In fact, they should trade Jermaine O'Neal to the Cavs for Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Anderson Varejao plus the 19th overall pick and grab Bill Walker with that shit. I read a rumor that that might happen (although they made no mention of who they'd try to pick if they could make the deal)
Here's my predictions for the first 14 picks in the NBA draft. Watch this shit.
1. Derrik Rose- Bulls
2. Michael Beasley- Heat
3. Danilo Gallinari- Timberwolves
4. Jerryd Bayless- Supersonics
5. Brook Lopez- Grizzlies
6. O.J. Mayo- Knicks (I don't know if he'll fall this far or not)
7. Eric Gordon- Clippers
8. Anthony Randolph- Bucks
9. Kevin Love- Bobcats
10. Russell Westbrook- Nets
11. D.J. Augustin- Pacers (but like I said, if they have the choice they should absolutely go with Westbrook)
12. Donte Green- Kings
13. Joe Alexander- Trailblazers
14. DeAndre Jordan- Warriors
No idea how it'll play out. We'll see.
-M
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Conversations with my Mother
Mothers. They bring us into this world. They raise us, nurture us, protect us and teach us. My mother has taught me almost everything I know (the rest I learned from pornographic websites).
So, in honor of Mother's Day (a few weeks ago), I will now recall the special moments and solid wisdom I learned from my mother.
1. McDonald's only hires Mexicans and Mexicans don't wash their hands, so she doesn't eat there anymore.
2. In Mexico, they really do sleep right in the middle of the road. After drinking, I assume.
3. Indians never did anything for anyone.
4. Selling plasma is an easy way to make money.
5. Smoking cigarettes can turn your fingers yellow. But it makes girls think you're cool.
6. You can only get sued if you show up to court.
7. Cat fights are just about the funniest thing in the world. Geese fights are funny too.
8. No matter how hard you try, the world just keeps screwing you over (my dad also beat that one into my head).
9. You can never turn your back on a rooster cause it might attack you from behind.
10. There's no point in helping old people out cause they're just gonna die anyways.
11. Aliens secretly rule the world and love watching horse races.
12. If America would just go to war with China, all of our problems would be solved. Once we enslaved them, I assume.
13. Reba McEntire is a painfully ugly woman.
14. Donnie Walsh was always a moron who can kiss my ass.
There you have it folks, all the knowledge my mother has passed on to me through the years. Now share yours.
So, in honor of Mother's Day (a few weeks ago), I will now recall the special moments and solid wisdom I learned from my mother.
1. McDonald's only hires Mexicans and Mexicans don't wash their hands, so she doesn't eat there anymore.
2. In Mexico, they really do sleep right in the middle of the road. After drinking, I assume.
3. Indians never did anything for anyone.
4. Selling plasma is an easy way to make money.
5. Smoking cigarettes can turn your fingers yellow. But it makes girls think you're cool.
6. You can only get sued if you show up to court.
7. Cat fights are just about the funniest thing in the world. Geese fights are funny too.
8. No matter how hard you try, the world just keeps screwing you over (my dad also beat that one into my head).
9. You can never turn your back on a rooster cause it might attack you from behind.
10. There's no point in helping old people out cause they're just gonna die anyways.
11. Aliens secretly rule the world and love watching horse races.
12. If America would just go to war with China, all of our problems would be solved. Once we enslaved them, I assume.
13. Reba McEntire is a painfully ugly woman.
14. Donnie Walsh was always a moron who can kiss my ass.
There you have it folks, all the knowledge my mother has passed on to me through the years. Now share yours.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Review: Lost- season 4
Well, there it was. No more Lost until January of next year. Damn, that's too long to wait. So until then I guess we'll just have to find some new things to get obsessed with. The Venture Bros. is finally coming back this Sunday, but that'll only be a Summer long obsession. Then what? I just don't know...
So, to start off, this won't be a real review. Well, it kind of will. I don't know. Fuck it. Let's just see where this goes.
So.. uh... season four. What to say about it? It was... different. To say the least. Flash forwards, flashbacks, lots of action, some twists and turns. I don't know how to explain it really... it was fantastic but it left me feeling hollow somehow. I was very disappointed by many aspects of this season to be honest. But a lot of it was better than I ever expected. Let's start with the bad.
Character development. There were three episodes this season where they really fleshed out the characters and all their feelings. Meet Kevin Johnson, The Shape of Things to Come and Something Nice Back Home. I guess The Constant sort of did too, but not the same way. Either way, it's because of the character development that those three episodes I mentioned are among my favorites of this season. I guess since we're in season four and they've only got so many episodes left to tell the story that they figured, "Hell, they know the characters by now, let's just get this shit over with."
That leads me to the other complaint. It was so rushed, wasn't it? But this I can't blame on the writers. Well, yeah I can, cause they're the ones that went on strike. But at least when they came back from the very long hiatus they were great. But because of it we always learned almost nothing of people like Faraday, Miles and (especially) Charlotte. At least they have given her a sort of interesting character arc for season five (She was apparently born on the island... or some shit... that's why she decided to stay on the island).
Miles, on the other hand, I have no idea why he stayed behind. I guess he still wants that fucking money. He will, hopefully, have a shitload to do next year. Talking to ghosts, going on adventures, talking shit. Miles is going to be awesome.
Faraday will be too once we learn more about him, I'm sure. Although there's no telling where he is. Last we saw he was heading back towards the island on his little boat, and then it disappeared. Then he was nowhere to be seen. My guess- hell, he just disappeared with it. Wherever (or whenever) it went, he went with it. I think. Either way let's just say the new characters seemed interesting but weren't given much of a chance this year so we can only hope for the best next year.
The thing about this season is, it was kind of like The Empire Strikes Back. It's an incredibly pivotal season but at the same time it was sort of like nothing began and nothing ended. This was a set up season for next year. Not that it didn't have plenty of great moments, but it didn't feel like a stand alone season the way the others have. It feels more like the first chapter of a new story. Which I'm almost sure was the plan the whole time.
Sawyer. Sucked. For the whole season. Next year, please let him be awesome and cool again. No more straight up hero shit. Sawyer is at his most interesting when he's helping the team while still serving his own purpose. Or at least still kicking ass.
Locke was made to look like a fool the entire season. Every step of the way, Ben was making him look stupid. Not cool. And then it ends with him DYING?! I have to admit I didn't see that one coming. I was sure it would be Michael for the longest time. I guess Michael probably wouldn't have any remains though. Dude got blown up. Either way, Locke needs a lot more to do next year and he needs to blow some more shit up.
Okay, one more thing I hated and then we'll turn to the stuff that pleased me.
Michael. Wow. That was it? He was gone for a whole season and when he comes back, that's all you give him to do? Like I said earlier, I know a lot of this had to do with the writers strike, but still... he showed up and had a great episode, then what? He got beat up a lot and then he tried and failed to stop a bomb. The end. Fuck it. Harold has already complained about that. I agree with him. They botched it.
The good.
Okay, now I know I just complained about him but I'll have to say Michael again. I know they fucked up with him in the long run, but Meet Kevin Johnson was amazing. I'd go so far as to say his (Harold Perreinus) acting in that episode was the best the show has ever seen. Really, who else tops his performance? I can't think of anyone. Except maybe Michael Emerson in The Shape of Things to Come, but really, it's no match. Harold did great and that dude deserves an Emmy or something for that episode.
I also loved that we finally got some answers this year. And lots of action. Even if it did mean we had to let the characters fall to the wayside for most of the time. Like I said, this was a transition season and I think next year it'll be back to normal. Although I hope they still give us some answers.
Sayid had his best season ever. I never cared much for the character the way some people have but this season he really was great.
I loved that they at least mentioned Mr. Eko. Now I can die happily.
Loved that Walt looked like a 25 year old gang member (because he's black. Get it?) I really hope he becomes a series regular next year. I know that kid was annoying but come on, they made Walt seem way too important not to use him again. He's gotta go back. HE'S GOTTA GO BACK!!
Alright, I'm already bored with this. Let's get down to business. The best episodes in ranked order are-
1. Meet Kevin Johnson
2. The Shape of Things to Come
3. Something Nice Back Home
4. The Economist
5. The Constant
6. There's No Place Like Home (parts 1, 2 and 3. I count them as a whole)
7. Ji Yeon
8. Confirmed Dead
9. The Beginning of the End
10. Cabin Fever
11. The Other Woman
12. Eggtown
I'd rank the season-
1. Season 1
2. Season 3 (it started off slow but once it got to the middle of the season it kicked ass like never before)
3. Season 4
4. Season 2
This season gets an 8.5/10 from me. Great action and all that but next time, please focus on the characters a little more. As much as I love that we're getting answers finally I don't want it to ruin the greatest characters on t.v.
Ben is the seasons MVP. Sayid comes in second place. Michael could have been the MVP had they kept it up after Meet Kevin Johnson but it all went downhill for him after that.
Locke was MVP of season 1, Mr. Eko MVP of season 2 and Sawyer MVP of season 3 (although Locke and Ben were close behind).
And finally, I hope in season five they have more comedy. A suggestion- Jack and Ben gets into crazy hijinks trying to get Locke's dead body back to the island. Weekend at Bernie's style. Carrying his body out of the funeral parlor, a young police man walks up. "What are you guys doing??", he asks. Jack and Ben exchange looks of terror. "Uh, nothin', man.", says Jack. "He's just real drunk... he's a fuckin' retard, man."
Stuff like that.
-Maynard
P.S. Claire looked fat as shit in the last episode.
So, to start off, this won't be a real review. Well, it kind of will. I don't know. Fuck it. Let's just see where this goes.
So.. uh... season four. What to say about it? It was... different. To say the least. Flash forwards, flashbacks, lots of action, some twists and turns. I don't know how to explain it really... it was fantastic but it left me feeling hollow somehow. I was very disappointed by many aspects of this season to be honest. But a lot of it was better than I ever expected. Let's start with the bad.
Character development. There were three episodes this season where they really fleshed out the characters and all their feelings. Meet Kevin Johnson, The Shape of Things to Come and Something Nice Back Home. I guess The Constant sort of did too, but not the same way. Either way, it's because of the character development that those three episodes I mentioned are among my favorites of this season. I guess since we're in season four and they've only got so many episodes left to tell the story that they figured, "Hell, they know the characters by now, let's just get this shit over with."
That leads me to the other complaint. It was so rushed, wasn't it? But this I can't blame on the writers. Well, yeah I can, cause they're the ones that went on strike. But at least when they came back from the very long hiatus they were great. But because of it we always learned almost nothing of people like Faraday, Miles and (especially) Charlotte. At least they have given her a sort of interesting character arc for season five (She was apparently born on the island... or some shit... that's why she decided to stay on the island).
Miles, on the other hand, I have no idea why he stayed behind. I guess he still wants that fucking money. He will, hopefully, have a shitload to do next year. Talking to ghosts, going on adventures, talking shit. Miles is going to be awesome.
Faraday will be too once we learn more about him, I'm sure. Although there's no telling where he is. Last we saw he was heading back towards the island on his little boat, and then it disappeared. Then he was nowhere to be seen. My guess- hell, he just disappeared with it. Wherever (or whenever) it went, he went with it. I think. Either way let's just say the new characters seemed interesting but weren't given much of a chance this year so we can only hope for the best next year.
The thing about this season is, it was kind of like The Empire Strikes Back. It's an incredibly pivotal season but at the same time it was sort of like nothing began and nothing ended. This was a set up season for next year. Not that it didn't have plenty of great moments, but it didn't feel like a stand alone season the way the others have. It feels more like the first chapter of a new story. Which I'm almost sure was the plan the whole time.
Sawyer. Sucked. For the whole season. Next year, please let him be awesome and cool again. No more straight up hero shit. Sawyer is at his most interesting when he's helping the team while still serving his own purpose. Or at least still kicking ass.
Locke was made to look like a fool the entire season. Every step of the way, Ben was making him look stupid. Not cool. And then it ends with him DYING?! I have to admit I didn't see that one coming. I was sure it would be Michael for the longest time. I guess Michael probably wouldn't have any remains though. Dude got blown up. Either way, Locke needs a lot more to do next year and he needs to blow some more shit up.
Okay, one more thing I hated and then we'll turn to the stuff that pleased me.
Michael. Wow. That was it? He was gone for a whole season and when he comes back, that's all you give him to do? Like I said earlier, I know a lot of this had to do with the writers strike, but still... he showed up and had a great episode, then what? He got beat up a lot and then he tried and failed to stop a bomb. The end. Fuck it. Harold has already complained about that. I agree with him. They botched it.
The good.
Okay, now I know I just complained about him but I'll have to say Michael again. I know they fucked up with him in the long run, but Meet Kevin Johnson was amazing. I'd go so far as to say his (Harold Perreinus) acting in that episode was the best the show has ever seen. Really, who else tops his performance? I can't think of anyone. Except maybe Michael Emerson in The Shape of Things to Come, but really, it's no match. Harold did great and that dude deserves an Emmy or something for that episode.
I also loved that we finally got some answers this year. And lots of action. Even if it did mean we had to let the characters fall to the wayside for most of the time. Like I said, this was a transition season and I think next year it'll be back to normal. Although I hope they still give us some answers.
Sayid had his best season ever. I never cared much for the character the way some people have but this season he really was great.
I loved that they at least mentioned Mr. Eko. Now I can die happily.
Loved that Walt looked like a 25 year old gang member (because he's black. Get it?) I really hope he becomes a series regular next year. I know that kid was annoying but come on, they made Walt seem way too important not to use him again. He's gotta go back. HE'S GOTTA GO BACK!!
Alright, I'm already bored with this. Let's get down to business. The best episodes in ranked order are-
1. Meet Kevin Johnson
2. The Shape of Things to Come
3. Something Nice Back Home
4. The Economist
5. The Constant
6. There's No Place Like Home (parts 1, 2 and 3. I count them as a whole)
7. Ji Yeon
8. Confirmed Dead
9. The Beginning of the End
10. Cabin Fever
11. The Other Woman
12. Eggtown
I'd rank the season-
1. Season 1
2. Season 3 (it started off slow but once it got to the middle of the season it kicked ass like never before)
3. Season 4
4. Season 2
This season gets an 8.5/10 from me. Great action and all that but next time, please focus on the characters a little more. As much as I love that we're getting answers finally I don't want it to ruin the greatest characters on t.v.
Ben is the seasons MVP. Sayid comes in second place. Michael could have been the MVP had they kept it up after Meet Kevin Johnson but it all went downhill for him after that.
Locke was MVP of season 1, Mr. Eko MVP of season 2 and Sawyer MVP of season 3 (although Locke and Ben were close behind).
And finally, I hope in season five they have more comedy. A suggestion- Jack and Ben gets into crazy hijinks trying to get Locke's dead body back to the island. Weekend at Bernie's style. Carrying his body out of the funeral parlor, a young police man walks up. "What are you guys doing??", he asks. Jack and Ben exchange looks of terror. "Uh, nothin', man.", says Jack. "He's just real drunk... he's a fuckin' retard, man."
Stuff like that.
-Maynard
P.S. Claire looked fat as shit in the last episode.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Avril Lavigne/Jonas Brothers Concert!!
My very first concert and it was pretty awesome.
So i decided to go by bus instead of train, when i got to the bus station, i wish i would of went by train. I was just sitting in the bus station and this old guy came up to me and started talking to me. "When did they build this new bus station?" "Did they build it in the day?" "Did they build it at night?" "Have you seen the new bus station in Dunfermline?" "Lovely weather isn't it" "It's raining in England" i'm like to myself "JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY, I DON'T KNOW YOU!!" i never said that though. I guess i just answered all the questions. What a weirdo. So i got in the bus, a freaky thing happened, well i thought it was freaky. I was listening to Avril songs on my Ipod, and just when the song "When You're Gone" came on my Ipod, one of those funeral cars with a coffin in the back of it drove past the bus. I thought that was pretty freaky like. The journey lasted like 2 hours, pretty cool scenery and shit. I went to McDonalds, i've never actually noticed this before, but McDonalds is like a "babe heaven" they all seem to hang out there!! So the doors to the concert never opened until like 8:00 pm but i thought i would stand in the queue early. I got there at like 5:00pm, I'm so glad i did that. I was bascially right at the door near enough. The queue was like a mile long, haha those suckers. Standing in the queue for like 3 hours in the wind. It was so worth it!! Though there was some emo guy behind me who wouldn't shut up. Talking about emo things with his friends or crew or whatever the emo's call them. Infront of me though was three hot chicks who were singing Avril Lavigne songs and dancing. So that was pretty awesome. ;) Got in the door, some of the security people were frisking people, obviously the shady characters. Rock got in without getting frisked. (high fives). I got right to the front of the stage, which was pretty damn good. So this band called the Jonas Brothers came on first, never heard of them before though. They sounded like a British band called Busted though. I don't think anyone really cared about them performing, well maybe some of the chicks cared. I was situated right in front of the left amp, fucking loud as fuck. My ears were ringing. The lead singer of the Jonas Brothers went into the crowd, not my side thankfully. Then they finished there songs off and left. Thank god. Then Avril came on rocking out. She started off with the song "Girlfriend" It was so amazing getting to be that actual close to her. She's so tiny with her skimpy outfit on. She was doing cartwheels and shit. Through the concert this chick to the right of me, well a little right to me. She kept looking over my way. Like for at least 10 minutes. Then she suddenly made her way through the crowd in my direction. I thought to myself "this is your big moment, don't blow it" she walked right past me and into the girls toilet. :( I guess she was just looking in my direction to see when the queue would be down to go and do her stuff. What a slut, a hot slut i might add. I took a whole load of pictures, but most of them were blurry because it's hard to try and take pictures when your camera is in mid air and trying to keep it steady and shit. I also managed to sneak in some video time. With me being so close to the front though, the fucking security guards kept telling us to not record. Damn bastards. All the fuckers in the middle were filming the whole thing. It was much better being closer to Avril Lavigne though. Avril so well kept looking in my direction, it was clear to see we had a connection. She even said i rocked in a video, which you'll see down below. Lol. There was this big ginger guy standing next to me. He must of had like five cans of beer or something. When Avril started singing "Skater Boi" he was jumping all over the place with his friends. Moshing out like he was at a Slipknot concert or shit. The fucker banged into me all night. So i kept pushing him back. On the way out though he apologized to me, because he knows who is the boss, ME! I'm glad i went the Monday night though, her laryngitis was starting to show when she was performing her last couple of songs. All those suckers could well of got sloppy seconds on Tuesday. MUHAHA. Overall it rocked out. It makes me want to go to more concerts now.
-Bada
Not the best filming i have ever done in my life, had to hide it from the security guards.
She said i rocked.
Singing Complicated.
Singing My Happy Ending.
So i decided to go by bus instead of train, when i got to the bus station, i wish i would of went by train. I was just sitting in the bus station and this old guy came up to me and started talking to me. "When did they build this new bus station?" "Did they build it in the day?" "Did they build it at night?" "Have you seen the new bus station in Dunfermline?" "Lovely weather isn't it" "It's raining in England" i'm like to myself "JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY, I DON'T KNOW YOU!!" i never said that though. I guess i just answered all the questions. What a weirdo. So i got in the bus, a freaky thing happened, well i thought it was freaky. I was listening to Avril songs on my Ipod, and just when the song "When You're Gone" came on my Ipod, one of those funeral cars with a coffin in the back of it drove past the bus. I thought that was pretty freaky like. The journey lasted like 2 hours, pretty cool scenery and shit. I went to McDonalds, i've never actually noticed this before, but McDonalds is like a "babe heaven" they all seem to hang out there!! So the doors to the concert never opened until like 8:00 pm but i thought i would stand in the queue early. I got there at like 5:00pm, I'm so glad i did that. I was bascially right at the door near enough. The queue was like a mile long, haha those suckers. Standing in the queue for like 3 hours in the wind. It was so worth it!! Though there was some emo guy behind me who wouldn't shut up. Talking about emo things with his friends or crew or whatever the emo's call them. Infront of me though was three hot chicks who were singing Avril Lavigne songs and dancing. So that was pretty awesome. ;) Got in the door, some of the security people were frisking people, obviously the shady characters. Rock got in without getting frisked. (high fives). I got right to the front of the stage, which was pretty damn good. So this band called the Jonas Brothers came on first, never heard of them before though. They sounded like a British band called Busted though. I don't think anyone really cared about them performing, well maybe some of the chicks cared. I was situated right in front of the left amp, fucking loud as fuck. My ears were ringing. The lead singer of the Jonas Brothers went into the crowd, not my side thankfully. Then they finished there songs off and left. Thank god. Then Avril came on rocking out. She started off with the song "Girlfriend" It was so amazing getting to be that actual close to her. She's so tiny with her skimpy outfit on. She was doing cartwheels and shit. Through the concert this chick to the right of me, well a little right to me. She kept looking over my way. Like for at least 10 minutes. Then she suddenly made her way through the crowd in my direction. I thought to myself "this is your big moment, don't blow it" she walked right past me and into the girls toilet. :( I guess she was just looking in my direction to see when the queue would be down to go and do her stuff. What a slut, a hot slut i might add. I took a whole load of pictures, but most of them were blurry because it's hard to try and take pictures when your camera is in mid air and trying to keep it steady and shit. I also managed to sneak in some video time. With me being so close to the front though, the fucking security guards kept telling us to not record. Damn bastards. All the fuckers in the middle were filming the whole thing. It was much better being closer to Avril Lavigne though. Avril so well kept looking in my direction, it was clear to see we had a connection. She even said i rocked in a video, which you'll see down below. Lol. There was this big ginger guy standing next to me. He must of had like five cans of beer or something. When Avril started singing "Skater Boi" he was jumping all over the place with his friends. Moshing out like he was at a Slipknot concert or shit. The fucker banged into me all night. So i kept pushing him back. On the way out though he apologized to me, because he knows who is the boss, ME! I'm glad i went the Monday night though, her laryngitis was starting to show when she was performing her last couple of songs. All those suckers could well of got sloppy seconds on Tuesday. MUHAHA. Overall it rocked out. It makes me want to go to more concerts now.
-Bada
Not the best filming i have ever done in my life, had to hide it from the security guards.
She said i rocked.
Singing Complicated.
Singing My Happy Ending.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Champions. :)
May 21st 2008 is the day Manchester United became European Champions for a third time!! :)
When Manchester United won it, i went absolute mental and in a result in that, i ended up breaking my headphones. They just came apart Lol.
-Bada.
When Manchester United won it, i went absolute mental and in a result in that, i ended up breaking my headphones. They just came apart Lol.
-Bada.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Eat shit and die, fags!!
Why do I speak to you like this? Cause fuck you, that's why. Indianapolis gets to host the Superbowl in 2012, NIGGAZZZ!! So get ready cause in four years we're gonna CLASS THAT SHIT UP!!
HOLLAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Indianapolis is so awesome. Even Dennis Hopper thinks so. He appeared in a fifteen minute video on behalf of the city, imploring those idiots that run the league to just let us have it for once.
There's on old saying- if you don't agree with Dennis Hopper it's because you're and idiot and you can eat shit. If Indianapolis is good enough for Frank Booth it's good enough for you.
In other news, 2012 is also the year that the world is apparently supposed to end. If Indianapolis gets to host the Superbowl and if the Colts could somehow win it... I'd be cool with the world blowing up. Nothing else to live for.
-Maynard
HOLLAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Indianapolis is so awesome. Even Dennis Hopper thinks so. He appeared in a fifteen minute video on behalf of the city, imploring those idiots that run the league to just let us have it for once.
There's on old saying- if you don't agree with Dennis Hopper it's because you're and idiot and you can eat shit. If Indianapolis is good enough for Frank Booth it's good enough for you.
In other news, 2012 is also the year that the world is apparently supposed to end. If Indianapolis gets to host the Superbowl and if the Colts could somehow win it... I'd be cool with the world blowing up. Nothing else to live for.
-Maynard
Monday, May 19, 2008
This video proves it
Mike Huckabee is hilarious and women don't know how to act when they're in public.
-Maynard
-Maynard
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Guess I was wrong.
Remember when I (and all of you, too) thought the Boston Celtics would cruise past all comers in the Eastern Conference? Hehe, yeah, that seems so long ago. They've been forced into another game 7 by the Cavs. This coming after they were forced into a game 7 by THE HAWKS!! Those guys didn't even finished above .500, did they? What's going on here? Why are they sputtering so badly?
Well, anywho, it's time for my updated NBA Playoff predictions.
OUT EAST-
Celtics vs. Cavs- Game 7. I'll say Celtics cause I don't want to be too much of a flip flopper. But the Cavs could easily take this game. If the Celtics beat the Cavs I'll say the Pistons will win the East in a 6 game series. If the Cavs beat the Celtics, Pistons beat Cavs in 5 games. Just a guess.
OUT WEST-
Hornets vs. Spurs- Game 7. This is tough. I want so badly for the Hornets to win. CP3 vs. Kobe. Let's find out who really deserved that MVP award. But I'll go out of a small limb and say the Spurs will win this one.
If it's Lakers vs. Spurs, I really think the Spurs will take it in 7 games. If it's the Lakers vs Hornets, Lakers in 6 (even though I love the Hornets)
I'm now predicting a Pistons vs. Spurs Finals with the Spurs winning in 7 games. But the Lakers really have a shot here. They've been playing great. I just hate them so damn much.
If it's a Lakers vs. Pistons Finals I might not even care. I hate them both. I like the Celtics but I hate Boston so I hope they don't win either.
If either the Hornets or Spurs win, I'll be happy.
-M
Well, anywho, it's time for my updated NBA Playoff predictions.
OUT EAST-
Celtics vs. Cavs- Game 7. I'll say Celtics cause I don't want to be too much of a flip flopper. But the Cavs could easily take this game. If the Celtics beat the Cavs I'll say the Pistons will win the East in a 6 game series. If the Cavs beat the Celtics, Pistons beat Cavs in 5 games. Just a guess.
OUT WEST-
Hornets vs. Spurs- Game 7. This is tough. I want so badly for the Hornets to win. CP3 vs. Kobe. Let's find out who really deserved that MVP award. But I'll go out of a small limb and say the Spurs will win this one.
If it's Lakers vs. Spurs, I really think the Spurs will take it in 7 games. If it's the Lakers vs Hornets, Lakers in 6 (even though I love the Hornets)
I'm now predicting a Pistons vs. Spurs Finals with the Spurs winning in 7 games. But the Lakers really have a shot here. They've been playing great. I just hate them so damn much.
If it's a Lakers vs. Pistons Finals I might not even care. I hate them both. I like the Celtics but I hate Boston so I hope they don't win either.
If either the Hornets or Spurs win, I'll be happy.
-M
Thursday, May 15, 2008
I knew Reggie Miller was cool
Reggie Miller has always been awesome. And this photo proves it.
Ace. Check that shit. And I thought this guy was awesome when he was hitting all those three's. But then he wears that outfit and pours that vodka down that Asian chicks throat... delicious. Classy as shit. All time leader in three pointers.
Never won us a championship though...
-Maynard
Ace. Check that shit. And I thought this guy was awesome when he was hitting all those three's. But then he wears that outfit and pours that vodka down that Asian chicks throat... delicious. Classy as shit. All time leader in three pointers.
Never won us a championship though...
-Maynard
Monday, May 12, 2008
New idea for a t.v. show
Premise: The dead have risen and are running for President.
- "Roooowwwrrr!! Me want to be President. Me want... brains..."
- "Zombie President cares not for the economy.... Zombie President cares only for... brains..."
- "Zombie President promises to give tax breaks to the working class in exchange for delicious... brains..."
- "Get those camera's out of here, Zombie President is feeding!! (woman (or man) screams as Zombie President bites into her (or his) neck)
- "Zombie McCain wishes to distance himself with Bush... nom nom nom."
So I think I could get a good season or two out of this. First season he's running for President... then he loses. Second season... would never happen because it would be canceled before the first season ended :( :(
-M
- "Roooowwwrrr!! Me want to be President. Me want... brains..."
- "Zombie President cares not for the economy.... Zombie President cares only for... brains..."
- "Zombie President promises to give tax breaks to the working class in exchange for delicious... brains..."
- "Get those camera's out of here, Zombie President is feeding!! (woman (or man) screams as Zombie President bites into her (or his) neck)
- "Zombie McCain wishes to distance himself with Bush... nom nom nom."So I think I could get a good season or two out of this. First season he's running for President... then he loses. Second season... would never happen because it would be canceled before the first season ended :( :(
-M
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