Ok so there are lots of great games coming out this year and next, so this is just a list of a few that i believe will kick all the ass so, here we go.
God of War 3 on the PS3
Prototype on Xbox360
Fable 2 Xbox360
Call of Duty: World at War Xbox360
Resident Evil 5 Xbox360
Ok so this is all i could think of for now, i may add more later.
Bye bye
-Lando
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Flashbacks vol. 3
Oi there mates. Maynard here. We haven't done a flashback since April. Don't know why we stopped, but I'll do another. I was going to write about my job, but fuck it. It's boring. They have us in these classes. Today we took our "Big Test", and guess what? I scored a perfect 100%. The lady teaching us was all like, "Whoa, cool."
No she wasn't. But she did tell the class that it's very rare to get a 100%. I don't see why. I just fucking cheated. Right in front of everyone. My book was right there and I didn't know the answer to a few things so I opened that fucker up and copied it straight from there. This other guy did that too he said, but somehow he still got the answers wrong.
Anywho, so the flashback. This one is from a few years ago when I was in school. So I was taking this test. English, if memory serves. So I'm sitting there, doing my business, etc. etc., hand in my paper and wait for the results. The teacher tells me I got 100%. I did another test that day and got 100% on that one too. She was impressed and asked me for a date.
No she didn't, but she was impressed I did so well.
Next day, I go in and all the teachers were really impressed that I did so well with my English and writing and stuff. They started calling me Mr. 100. And sadly, that is the coolest nickname I've ever been given.
So I was all like, "Fuck yeah." I was so awesome. I was the illest sucker in that classroom.
Then I did a math test and scored 30% on it :( Mr. 100 was dead.
Until now.
So tomorrow I'm going in to work with a t-shirt that says Mr 100 on it. It won't be like something I bought at the store or anything. I have to use a marker to draw the words, but still... everyone will know who I am.
-M
P.S.- Oh, some chick called me a candyass for scoring 100% today. That's America for you- show the lightest bit of intelligence (even if you cheated to do it), and you're looked down upon.
P.P.S.- And don't ask me how I scored 100% on the English and writing cause I don't know. I didn't cheat, but it was a total fluke. Anyone who actually reads this blog ought to know that.
No she wasn't. But she did tell the class that it's very rare to get a 100%. I don't see why. I just fucking cheated. Right in front of everyone. My book was right there and I didn't know the answer to a few things so I opened that fucker up and copied it straight from there. This other guy did that too he said, but somehow he still got the answers wrong.
Anywho, so the flashback. This one is from a few years ago when I was in school. So I was taking this test. English, if memory serves. So I'm sitting there, doing my business, etc. etc., hand in my paper and wait for the results. The teacher tells me I got 100%. I did another test that day and got 100% on that one too. She was impressed and asked me for a date.
No she didn't, but she was impressed I did so well.
Next day, I go in and all the teachers were really impressed that I did so well with my English and writing and stuff. They started calling me Mr. 100. And sadly, that is the coolest nickname I've ever been given.
So I was all like, "Fuck yeah." I was so awesome. I was the illest sucker in that classroom.
Then I did a math test and scored 30% on it :( Mr. 100 was dead.
Until now.
So tomorrow I'm going in to work with a t-shirt that says Mr 100 on it. It won't be like something I bought at the store or anything. I have to use a marker to draw the words, but still... everyone will know who I am.
-M
P.S.- Oh, some chick called me a candyass for scoring 100% today. That's America for you- show the lightest bit of intelligence (even if you cheated to do it), and you're looked down upon.
P.P.S.- And don't ask me how I scored 100% on the English and writing cause I don't know. I didn't cheat, but it was a total fluke. Anyone who actually reads this blog ought to know that.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
I thought he was a genius
So Quentin Tanantino finished his script for Inglorious Bastards. Or maybe it's Inglorious Basterds. Cause that's how he spells it. I read on his IMDb page that he has an IQ of like 160, which would put him at the genius level. But after reading what few snippets that have leaked from the script, it just seems... like his IQ isn't 160.
Here's a bit of the script that has leaked, written by QT himself.
"My name is Lt. Aldo Raine, and I’m putting together a special team. And I need me eight soldiers. Eight – Jewish – American – Soldiers. Now y’all might have heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we’ll be leavin a little earlier. We’re gonna be dropped into France, dressed as civilians. And once we’re in enemy territory, as a bushwackin’ guerilla army, we’re gonna be doin one thing, and thing only, Killin Nazi’s. The members of the Nationalist Socialist Party, have conquered Europe through murder, torture, intimidation, and terror. And that’s exactly what we’re gonna do to them. Now I don’t know about y’all. But I sure as hell, didn’t come down from the goddamn smoky mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half Sicily, and then jump out of a fuckin air-o-plane, to teach the Nazi’s lessons in humanity. Nazi ain’t got no humanity. There the foot soldiers of a Jew hatin, mass murderin manic, and they need to be destroyed. That’s why any and every son-of-a-bitch we find wearin a Nazi uniform, there gonna die. We will be cruel to the Germans, and through our cruelty, they will know who we are. They will find the evidence of our cruelty, in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the German will not be able to help themselves from imagining the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heals, and the edge of our knives. And the Germans, will be sickened by us. And the Germans, will talk about us. And the Germans, will fear us. And when the Germans close their eyes at night, and their subconscious tortures them for the evil they’ve done, it will be with thoughts of us, that it tortures them with. But I got a word of warning to all would be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me, personally. Every man under my command, owes me, one hundred Nazi scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y’all will git me, one hundred Nazi scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred Nazi’s or you will die trying. -Lt. Aldo Raine aka Aldo the Apache"
Yeah. I think he means "they're", not "there." Plus all the comma's and shit like that... c'mon man, you won an Oscar.
My brother in law, Frankie Teardrop, told me just the other day that Tarantino isn't all there. He told me this cause he hated Oldboy and I love Oldboy. I told him Tarantino loved Oldboy as well. Then he suggested Tarantino is a drug addict. And this script pretty much proves him right.
Point is, Frankie Teardrop needs to start liking cooler movies.
Back to Inglorious Basterds... Tarantino wants Brad Pitt to play the guy who gave that little speech. Cause whenever you think of Jewish WW2 vets, you think Brad Pitt.
Anywho, this sounds like it'll be another Kill Bill like movie. Meaning it'll be entertaining but it won't be the Pulp Fiction like masterpiece we're all hoping Tarantino can give us once more before he OD's.
Here's hoping it'll be better than it sounds.
-M
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
So today sucked
Hello friends. So today I had to go to that court thing again to get my sentence. This really flamboyant judge came out and did a bunch of crap that I didn't pay much attention to.
They called me up there and blah blah blah. I plead guilty and now I have to pay 248 dollars by October and I have to take a driving class. And I'm on cap and monitor for a year. So that sucks. I have my first thingy tomorrow. So... that sucks. Plus there was this old deputy guy that tapped me with a pen because my hands were in my pockets. I thought he wanted me to show him my one hand, so I did. He stared at me with his mouth agape. Then I realized what he wanted. Screw him.
Then I finally got a new job. I start Monday. Most people would think this is good, but not me. It's like, something with paper. Magazines and stuff. I'll be making them. Physically. 12 hour days after two or three weeks. Wonder how long that will last? ;)
Cause I ain't doin' it for long.
-M
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Southerners warned us
Now they're all runnin' around pullin' hijinks like this.
Sorry. I'm really not a racist. Seriously.
How Not To Fake A Heart Attack - Watch more free videos
Sorry. I'm really not a racist. Seriously.
How Not To Fake A Heart Attack - Watch more free videos
Friday, July 4, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
I am Fucked
Went to court today for that speeding ticket. Plus I didn't have insurance. Why? Cause fuck insurance. I'm not made of money. Lando is the one who goes around calling himself MAN money all the time, so I figured, fuck it. Let Lando pay my court fees and the insurance. Turned out he didn't do either.
So I'm fucked. They offered to let me pay a 1000$ fine and take driving classes, so I agreed to that. But then the judge told me I have to come back in on the 9th of this month and I'd better have insurance or I have to turn my tags in.
So... fuck it. I'd rather go to jail. It's not even my car!! Which I assumed they knew. I have no idea what is going on. Am I still doing the 1000$ fine and taking driving classes? I can only assume so. But if I get insured, maybe they'll drop the 1000$.
But I'm almost 100% sure they won't. I'm 95% sure I'm fucked and I'm 80% sure this is not my fault.
Thanks for nothing guys. Thanks for nothing.
-Maynard
So I'm fucked. They offered to let me pay a 1000$ fine and take driving classes, so I agreed to that. But then the judge told me I have to come back in on the 9th of this month and I'd better have insurance or I have to turn my tags in.
So... fuck it. I'd rather go to jail. It's not even my car!! Which I assumed they knew. I have no idea what is going on. Am I still doing the 1000$ fine and taking driving classes? I can only assume so. But if I get insured, maybe they'll drop the 1000$.
But I'm almost 100% sure they won't. I'm 95% sure I'm fucked and I'm 80% sure this is not my fault.
Thanks for nothing guys. Thanks for nothing.
-Maynard
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Larry Bird, you bastard
What is wrong with you? Fucking asshole. You really are. Where do you get off??
So the other day, Indiana Pacers GM Larry Bird made one of the best trade ever. He got rid of that absolute faggot Jermaine O'Neal and got a pretty good point guard, T.J. Ford, plus some other guy who won't really help us at all, along with the 17th overall pick in the NBA Draft. Bird was my man when this happened. It was about as perfect as it gets. We got a point guard, which was our biggest need and we got another fairly high draft pick (we already had the 11th). Plus we dropped 44 million dollars worth of nothing.
And then the draft happened. Things were going well. Better than I could have ever hoped for. When the 11th pick came around, Jerryd Bayless was still on board. What a coup!! I actually thought he was the second best PG in this years draft. I never could have hoped we'd land him. Now it was time for Bird to either shine or make an idiot of himself. To my delight, the Pacers picked Bayless. I literally jumped up and yelled "YES!!" Bayless didn't seem too happy with where he was going, but fuck him. He'd be a great asset to our team. Of course, some people thought this was odd. Why pick Bayless when we already have a perfectly good PG? Because, moron, Ford gets injured alot. I had it all planned out. Bayless would spend this year learning from a very solid PG while still helping out in a major way by coming off the bench. And when Ford inevitably gets injured, we'd have a great young rookie filling in for him. Two good point guards are better than one. Cause we all know the Pacers point guard situation last year was tragic. But here it was. We had Ford and Bayless. We went from having one of the worst point guard situations in the league to having two of the best in the league. I was over the moon.
Then word came in- Bird had traded Bayless. Wh-what? What? WHAT?! WHY?!To who? Turns out it was to Portland. For their 13th overall pick, Brandon Rush.
Okay... why would anyone do that? Jerryd Bayless is better than Brandon Rush. But wait, we also got Jerrett Jack. A just okay point guard.
We don't need either of them. We had an exceptional point guard that we had just drafted. We don't need Brandon Rush. We already have Danny Granger and Mike Dunlevy Jr. Plus some pretty good reserves already, including Rush's older brother, Kareem Rush.
So I was pissed. I wanted Bayless. Having Bayless was better than either or both of those guys. No offense to Rush, I'm sure he'll be a solid player, but this league has become a league of point guards. You can't expect to win a championship without some great point guards. Ford and Bayless working together would have made us the envy of all the NBA. Instead we downgrade one point guard and get another guard/forward who we didn't need. What a moron Bird is.
As for the 17th pick, this was a real head scratcher. Roy Hibbert? What about Kosta Koufos? Or Darrell Arthur? We needed a big man (a center, now that I think of it), but Hibbert? He won't fit in with O'Brien's offense. Kosta Koufus was, what I thought, the obvious choice here. But whatever. I hope Bird knows something about these three players that I don't. But I doubt it.
As for the rest of the draft-
New York fans, shut the fuck up. You got a GREAT player. I'd love to have Danilo. He's too good for you ungrateful bastards.
Darrell Arthur went way too low. What a fucking steal.
Michael Beasley went exactly where he should have. Pat Riley has lost it if he even considers trading this pick. He'll never live it down. This guy, barring injury, is going to be the rookie of the year.
Alright, I'm pretty pissed and sleepy, so I'll get off now. I just had to vent. I really was, for the first time in about 5 years, really excited for the Pacers upcoming season. Now... well, I feel how I always feel now. "Here comes another season of trying to steal the 8th seed in the East..."
-Maynard
So the other day, Indiana Pacers GM Larry Bird made one of the best trade ever. He got rid of that absolute faggot Jermaine O'Neal and got a pretty good point guard, T.J. Ford, plus some other guy who won't really help us at all, along with the 17th overall pick in the NBA Draft. Bird was my man when this happened. It was about as perfect as it gets. We got a point guard, which was our biggest need and we got another fairly high draft pick (we already had the 11th). Plus we dropped 44 million dollars worth of nothing.
And then the draft happened. Things were going well. Better than I could have ever hoped for. When the 11th pick came around, Jerryd Bayless was still on board. What a coup!! I actually thought he was the second best PG in this years draft. I never could have hoped we'd land him. Now it was time for Bird to either shine or make an idiot of himself. To my delight, the Pacers picked Bayless. I literally jumped up and yelled "YES!!" Bayless didn't seem too happy with where he was going, but fuck him. He'd be a great asset to our team. Of course, some people thought this was odd. Why pick Bayless when we already have a perfectly good PG? Because, moron, Ford gets injured alot. I had it all planned out. Bayless would spend this year learning from a very solid PG while still helping out in a major way by coming off the bench. And when Ford inevitably gets injured, we'd have a great young rookie filling in for him. Two good point guards are better than one. Cause we all know the Pacers point guard situation last year was tragic. But here it was. We had Ford and Bayless. We went from having one of the worst point guard situations in the league to having two of the best in the league. I was over the moon.
Then word came in- Bird had traded Bayless. Wh-what? What? WHAT?! WHY?!To who? Turns out it was to Portland. For their 13th overall pick, Brandon Rush.
Okay... why would anyone do that? Jerryd Bayless is better than Brandon Rush. But wait, we also got Jerrett Jack. A just okay point guard.
We don't need either of them. We had an exceptional point guard that we had just drafted. We don't need Brandon Rush. We already have Danny Granger and Mike Dunlevy Jr. Plus some pretty good reserves already, including Rush's older brother, Kareem Rush.
So I was pissed. I wanted Bayless. Having Bayless was better than either or both of those guys. No offense to Rush, I'm sure he'll be a solid player, but this league has become a league of point guards. You can't expect to win a championship without some great point guards. Ford and Bayless working together would have made us the envy of all the NBA. Instead we downgrade one point guard and get another guard/forward who we didn't need. What a moron Bird is.
As for the 17th pick, this was a real head scratcher. Roy Hibbert? What about Kosta Koufos? Or Darrell Arthur? We needed a big man (a center, now that I think of it), but Hibbert? He won't fit in with O'Brien's offense. Kosta Koufus was, what I thought, the obvious choice here. But whatever. I hope Bird knows something about these three players that I don't. But I doubt it.
As for the rest of the draft-
New York fans, shut the fuck up. You got a GREAT player. I'd love to have Danilo. He's too good for you ungrateful bastards.
Darrell Arthur went way too low. What a fucking steal.
Michael Beasley went exactly where he should have. Pat Riley has lost it if he even considers trading this pick. He'll never live it down. This guy, barring injury, is going to be the rookie of the year.
Alright, I'm pretty pissed and sleepy, so I'll get off now. I just had to vent. I really was, for the first time in about 5 years, really excited for the Pacers upcoming season. Now... well, I feel how I always feel now. "Here comes another season of trying to steal the 8th seed in the East..."
-Maynard
Monday, June 23, 2008
Final NBA Draft predictions
Hey, remember the last time I predicted the NBA Draft? Where I said O.J. Mayo would fall to number six? Yeah. The more I thought about it the more foolish I felt about the whole thing. So I'm redoing it, hoping to get it right this time. Let's see how I do.
1. Derrick Rose- Bulls
2. Michael Beasley- Heat (although some say the Heat will do anything in their power to get Mayo)
3. O.J. Mayo- Timberwolves
4. Jerryd Bayless- SuperSonics
5. Kevin love- Grizzles
6. Eric Gordon- Knicks
7. Joe Alexander- Clippers
8. Russell Westbrook- Bucks
9. Brook Lopez- Bobcats
10. Danilo Gallinari- Nets (I think he'll be great but I had him at number three last time...)
11. D.J. Augustin- Pacers
12. Anthony Randolph- Kings
13. Brandon Rush- Trailblazers
14. Kosta Koufos- Warriors.
There. I think that looks pretty good. It feels right. Now we'll just have to wait and see.
-M.
1. Derrick Rose- Bulls
2. Michael Beasley- Heat (although some say the Heat will do anything in their power to get Mayo)
3. O.J. Mayo- Timberwolves
4. Jerryd Bayless- SuperSonics
5. Kevin love- Grizzles
6. Eric Gordon- Knicks
7. Joe Alexander- Clippers
8. Russell Westbrook- Bucks
9. Brook Lopez- Bobcats
10. Danilo Gallinari- Nets (I think he'll be great but I had him at number three last time...)
11. D.J. Augustin- Pacers
12. Anthony Randolph- Kings
13. Brandon Rush- Trailblazers
14. Kosta Koufos- Warriors.
There. I think that looks pretty good. It feels right. Now we'll just have to wait and see.
-M.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Lando needs help
Hey idiots ^__________^ Maynard here. You know... I know this guy. This guy we'll call Lando. I've known Lando forever. But lately, I've been thinking about ending our friendship. He's getting too weird. He keeps telling me about these dreams he has. These terrible, terrible dreams. The other night he told me about a dream he had where he and I were hitmen hired to kill this assassin. But it turns out the assassin was my sister. He found her sleeping in the back of a van. I grabbed a machine gun and shot at the van but missed. So Lando grabbed the gun and shot her dozens of time, killing her. I asked him why we would go through with killing my own sister. He told me it was because we wanted the money. He also said he took no pleasure in killing my sister and looked away when he pulled the trigger.
One time he had a dream where he and I were tapped to join a international supergroup of spies or some shit. Like, we were pre-destined to save the world. It was Lando, me, my friend Brian and some Mexican chick that found us and told us our destinies. Our very first mission we had to stop a bomb from blowing up some factory or something. So Lando was driving the van (why a van??) and the other three ran up some steps to get to the bomb. But Lando noticed it was taking too long and we couldn't stop the bomb. So he drove away and saw a huge explosion in his rearview mirror. Then... well, I'd better not say.
Another time he told me about a dream where we were running from the cops or the Government or something. We were hiding in a trailer and they were surrounding us. Lando tells me to run and he'll hold them off. So I did. Then Lando turned into a robot. But the robot looked like a black guy. Then he made himself blow up, but the explosion was like an atom bomb. So I probably died anyways.
Anyways, they say dreams are a window into ones conscience. If that is the case, I think you can understand why I can no longer know you, Lando. Goodbye forever. I'm changing the password to our site so you can't post anymore.
-M
One time he had a dream where he and I were tapped to join a international supergroup of spies or some shit. Like, we were pre-destined to save the world. It was Lando, me, my friend Brian and some Mexican chick that found us and told us our destinies. Our very first mission we had to stop a bomb from blowing up some factory or something. So Lando was driving the van (why a van??) and the other three ran up some steps to get to the bomb. But Lando noticed it was taking too long and we couldn't stop the bomb. So he drove away and saw a huge explosion in his rearview mirror. Then... well, I'd better not say.
Another time he told me about a dream where we were running from the cops or the Government or something. We were hiding in a trailer and they were surrounding us. Lando tells me to run and he'll hold them off. So I did. Then Lando turned into a robot. But the robot looked like a black guy. Then he made himself blow up, but the explosion was like an atom bomb. So I probably died anyways.
Anyways, they say dreams are a window into ones conscience. If that is the case, I think you can understand why I can no longer know you, Lando. Goodbye forever. I'm changing the password to our site so you can't post anymore.
-M
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
I Broke a Guys Finger
So a few weeks a go I was playing around with the old football with some people. We were having a great time and I was playing like never before. I was doing so great that girls wanted to be all over me but then everything went down hill.
I passed the ball to an IDIOT and he messed it all up. Now I had no idea this ASSHOLE did not know how to catch a ball, but it turns out he cant for shit. Anyways the ball ended up hitting his finger and chipping his bone. It was funny as hell but also pissed me off more then anything, because I hate it when people mess up my pass.
Oh yeah and I got a new job.
It SUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKS!.
With Painful Love
-Lando
I passed the ball to an IDIOT and he messed it all up. Now I had no idea this ASSHOLE did not know how to catch a ball, but it turns out he cant for shit. Anyways the ball ended up hitting his finger and chipping his bone. It was funny as hell but also pissed me off more then anything, because I hate it when people mess up my pass.
Oh yeah and I got a new job.
It SUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKS!.
With Painful Love
-Lando
Saturday, June 7, 2008
REVIEW- My Morning Jacket- Evil Urges
Is it just me or does that look like John McCain from behind in that picture?
Alright, a little bit of history here- I didn't get into My Morning Jacket until Z came out in 2005. I, like everyone else, thought it was pretty great. Then I went back into their older albums and found that Z was actually just a little disappointing. It Still Moves was a masterpiece. At Dawn and The Tennessee Fire were both as good if not better than Z. So I wasn't sure what to expect from Evil Urges. I absolutely love their old hillbilly ways, but I hate it when a band doesn't try to change. But after hearing what came before it, Z seemed like a bad decision as far as experimenting goes. The best songs from that album, Lay Low and Knot Comes Loose, sounded like they could have been on their older albums.
So I've been listening to Evil Urges for a few days now and I'm finally starting to figure out what I want to say about it. It, like Z, is kind of a disappointment. In a way.
It's not a bad album at all, it's just sort of boring. It starts off pretty good with the title track. Jim James does his best Prince impersonation. The whole track sounds more like Z than anything else from this album. Lots of atmosphere. But in a good way. It changes it's sound three or four times throughout. It's basically MMJ saying "Look what we can do!!" Well, everything except the stupid deep voice that says "I'm ready for it nowwww" near the end. This song would have been close to a 10/10 without that shit.
"Touch Me I'm Going to Scream Part 1" is next and it sounds like straight up Roxy Music. It's the most interesting song on the album. It's hard to explain how it sounds. Just think MMJ doing Roxy Music with a nice portion of The Flaming Lips and you'll pretty much get it.
Then comes Highly Suspicious. The worst song they've ever done. It's pure garbage and they never should have fucking made it, let alone put it on the most important album of their career. It sounds like that awful song "Word Up"
After that things change. Their first three songs sounded like a continuation of Z. But then they go backwards. After that we get lots of songs that could have been on any of their first three albums, expect they also sound like old 70's soul songs. It's like, the songs are good but really mellow. After the twists and turns of the first three songs, why get so mellow?? It's kind of boring. One of my biggest, and shallowest, problems with this album is that there's nothing that kicks as much ass as Lay Low. Mostly it's just Jim James sounding like he's half asleep. The songs are nice, like I said, but what the hell are they doing here?
It's here that I start to think MMJ doesn't have a clue what they're doing. This album sounds like a 15 year olds first 4 track recording. They just write a bunch of songs, some go together, some don't, and they just throw them all together on the same record. Some bands can handle doing lots of different styles on a single album, but with Evil Urges it just ends up seeming disjointed. The first part, the middle and that last section all sound like they belong on different albums.
The last two songs on the album, Smokin' from Shootin' and Touch Me I'm Going to Scream Part 2 are a great one two punch to end this album, but after everything that comes before it you get the sense they were written for something completely different.
Remember how I said I like when a band expands it's sound? MMJ have always had a problem doing this. They can't seem to figure out how to expand their OWN sound. When they try to be different they just copy other peoples sounds. Z, their "breakthrough", sounded like Coldplay at times. On this record they sound like everyone from Prince (Evil Urges) to James Taylor (Sec Walkin, which is probably the best song on the whole album), to Jack White (Librarian). When Radiohead and Wilco changed directions with their sound, it sounded right. It sounded like the next logical step they'd take. With My Morning Jacket, it sounds like they're just taking influences and just jamming them on their records. I still love this band and I know I've spent a lot of time complaining about this album but it really isn't bad. Hell, a lot of it sounds like it would be pretty good music for a small road trip at least. It's just not the huge step we all have been hoping they'd take. These are mostly good songs but next time, please MMJ, be yourselves. You guys were best when you weren't trying to be other people.
7.0/10. Best songs- "Sec Walkin", "Smokin' from Shootin'", "Thank You Too"
Worst songs- "Highly Suspicious", Remnants"
-M
Friday, June 6, 2008
Speeding is cool
And that's why I do it all the time. I'm not going to lie to you guy- I get all the girls and make shitloads of money while I'm at it. A guy like me has a real need for speed. I drive fast and I love hard.
Unfortunately, "The Man" doesn't think speeding is as cool as I do. I got pulled over the other night for doing 70 in a 55. Whatever. Like I even noticed. The guy that pulled me over doesn't know how to party like I know how to party. Plus he had no sense of humor.
So anyways, I have to go to court on July 1. Then I'll have to give up some of my big $$$$$$ and probably have to take a driving test or something. Shit son, I move so fast they won't even know I'm there. LOL >:~D
-Maynard
Unfortunately, "The Man" doesn't think speeding is as cool as I do. I got pulled over the other night for doing 70 in a 55. Whatever. Like I even noticed. The guy that pulled me over doesn't know how to party like I know how to party. Plus he had no sense of humor.
So anyways, I have to go to court on July 1. Then I'll have to give up some of my big $$$$$$ and probably have to take a driving test or something. Shit son, I move so fast they won't even know I'm there. LOL >:~D
-Maynard
Thursday, June 5, 2008
NBA Finals predictions
Alright, I suck at these. First I predicted the Spurs, then the Celtics, then the Spurs again. Fuck this shit. The NBA wanted these Finals and they did whatever they had to to make sure they happened. Fuckers.
Lakers in 7. Why? I dunno. Stern wants a new Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant is as close as he'll get so maybe... just maybe... he'll make sure they win.
In other NBA news- the Miami Heat should totally trade Dwayne Wade to the Bulls for the number one pick in the draft and then take Derrik Rose and Michael Beasley and just rock that shit out all season.
The Indiana Pacers, if given the chance, should absolutely take Russell Westbrook over D.J. Augustin. In fact, they should trade Jermaine O'Neal to the Cavs for Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Anderson Varejao plus the 19th overall pick and grab Bill Walker with that shit. I read a rumor that that might happen (although they made no mention of who they'd try to pick if they could make the deal)
Here's my predictions for the first 14 picks in the NBA draft. Watch this shit.
1. Derrik Rose- Bulls
2. Michael Beasley- Heat
3. Danilo Gallinari- Timberwolves
4. Jerryd Bayless- Supersonics
5. Brook Lopez- Grizzlies
6. O.J. Mayo- Knicks (I don't know if he'll fall this far or not)
7. Eric Gordon- Clippers
8. Anthony Randolph- Bucks
9. Kevin Love- Bobcats
10. Russell Westbrook- Nets
11. D.J. Augustin- Pacers (but like I said, if they have the choice they should absolutely go with Westbrook)
12. Donte Green- Kings
13. Joe Alexander- Trailblazers
14. DeAndre Jordan- Warriors
No idea how it'll play out. We'll see.
-M
Lakers in 7. Why? I dunno. Stern wants a new Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant is as close as he'll get so maybe... just maybe... he'll make sure they win.
In other NBA news- the Miami Heat should totally trade Dwayne Wade to the Bulls for the number one pick in the draft and then take Derrik Rose and Michael Beasley and just rock that shit out all season.
The Indiana Pacers, if given the chance, should absolutely take Russell Westbrook over D.J. Augustin. In fact, they should trade Jermaine O'Neal to the Cavs for Zydrunas Ilgauskas and Anderson Varejao plus the 19th overall pick and grab Bill Walker with that shit. I read a rumor that that might happen (although they made no mention of who they'd try to pick if they could make the deal)
Here's my predictions for the first 14 picks in the NBA draft. Watch this shit.
1. Derrik Rose- Bulls
2. Michael Beasley- Heat
3. Danilo Gallinari- Timberwolves
4. Jerryd Bayless- Supersonics
5. Brook Lopez- Grizzlies
6. O.J. Mayo- Knicks (I don't know if he'll fall this far or not)
7. Eric Gordon- Clippers
8. Anthony Randolph- Bucks
9. Kevin Love- Bobcats
10. Russell Westbrook- Nets
11. D.J. Augustin- Pacers (but like I said, if they have the choice they should absolutely go with Westbrook)
12. Donte Green- Kings
13. Joe Alexander- Trailblazers
14. DeAndre Jordan- Warriors
No idea how it'll play out. We'll see.
-M
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Conversations with my Mother
Mothers. They bring us into this world. They raise us, nurture us, protect us and teach us. My mother has taught me almost everything I know (the rest I learned from pornographic websites).
So, in honor of Mother's Day (a few weeks ago), I will now recall the special moments and solid wisdom I learned from my mother.
1. McDonald's only hires Mexicans and Mexicans don't wash their hands, so she doesn't eat there anymore.
2. In Mexico, they really do sleep right in the middle of the road. After drinking, I assume.
3. Indians never did anything for anyone.
4. Selling plasma is an easy way to make money.
5. Smoking cigarettes can turn your fingers yellow. But it makes girls think you're cool.
6. You can only get sued if you show up to court.
7. Cat fights are just about the funniest thing in the world. Geese fights are funny too.
8. No matter how hard you try, the world just keeps screwing you over (my dad also beat that one into my head).
9. You can never turn your back on a rooster cause it might attack you from behind.
10. There's no point in helping old people out cause they're just gonna die anyways.
11. Aliens secretly rule the world and love watching horse races.
12. If America would just go to war with China, all of our problems would be solved. Once we enslaved them, I assume.
13. Reba McEntire is a painfully ugly woman.
14. Donnie Walsh was always a moron who can kiss my ass.
There you have it folks, all the knowledge my mother has passed on to me through the years. Now share yours.
So, in honor of Mother's Day (a few weeks ago), I will now recall the special moments and solid wisdom I learned from my mother.
1. McDonald's only hires Mexicans and Mexicans don't wash their hands, so she doesn't eat there anymore.
2. In Mexico, they really do sleep right in the middle of the road. After drinking, I assume.
3. Indians never did anything for anyone.
4. Selling plasma is an easy way to make money.
5. Smoking cigarettes can turn your fingers yellow. But it makes girls think you're cool.
6. You can only get sued if you show up to court.
7. Cat fights are just about the funniest thing in the world. Geese fights are funny too.
8. No matter how hard you try, the world just keeps screwing you over (my dad also beat that one into my head).
9. You can never turn your back on a rooster cause it might attack you from behind.
10. There's no point in helping old people out cause they're just gonna die anyways.
11. Aliens secretly rule the world and love watching horse races.
12. If America would just go to war with China, all of our problems would be solved. Once we enslaved them, I assume.
13. Reba McEntire is a painfully ugly woman.
14. Donnie Walsh was always a moron who can kiss my ass.
There you have it folks, all the knowledge my mother has passed on to me through the years. Now share yours.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Review: Lost- season 4
Well, there it was. No more Lost until January of next year. Damn, that's too long to wait. So until then I guess we'll just have to find some new things to get obsessed with. The Venture Bros. is finally coming back this Sunday, but that'll only be a Summer long obsession. Then what? I just don't know...
So, to start off, this won't be a real review. Well, it kind of will. I don't know. Fuck it. Let's just see where this goes.
So.. uh... season four. What to say about it? It was... different. To say the least. Flash forwards, flashbacks, lots of action, some twists and turns. I don't know how to explain it really... it was fantastic but it left me feeling hollow somehow. I was very disappointed by many aspects of this season to be honest. But a lot of it was better than I ever expected. Let's start with the bad.
Character development. There were three episodes this season where they really fleshed out the characters and all their feelings. Meet Kevin Johnson, The Shape of Things to Come and Something Nice Back Home. I guess The Constant sort of did too, but not the same way. Either way, it's because of the character development that those three episodes I mentioned are among my favorites of this season. I guess since we're in season four and they've only got so many episodes left to tell the story that they figured, "Hell, they know the characters by now, let's just get this shit over with."
That leads me to the other complaint. It was so rushed, wasn't it? But this I can't blame on the writers. Well, yeah I can, cause they're the ones that went on strike. But at least when they came back from the very long hiatus they were great. But because of it we always learned almost nothing of people like Faraday, Miles and (especially) Charlotte. At least they have given her a sort of interesting character arc for season five (She was apparently born on the island... or some shit... that's why she decided to stay on the island).
Miles, on the other hand, I have no idea why he stayed behind. I guess he still wants that fucking money. He will, hopefully, have a shitload to do next year. Talking to ghosts, going on adventures, talking shit. Miles is going to be awesome.
Faraday will be too once we learn more about him, I'm sure. Although there's no telling where he is. Last we saw he was heading back towards the island on his little boat, and then it disappeared. Then he was nowhere to be seen. My guess- hell, he just disappeared with it. Wherever (or whenever) it went, he went with it. I think. Either way let's just say the new characters seemed interesting but weren't given much of a chance this year so we can only hope for the best next year.
The thing about this season is, it was kind of like The Empire Strikes Back. It's an incredibly pivotal season but at the same time it was sort of like nothing began and nothing ended. This was a set up season for next year. Not that it didn't have plenty of great moments, but it didn't feel like a stand alone season the way the others have. It feels more like the first chapter of a new story. Which I'm almost sure was the plan the whole time.
Sawyer. Sucked. For the whole season. Next year, please let him be awesome and cool again. No more straight up hero shit. Sawyer is at his most interesting when he's helping the team while still serving his own purpose. Or at least still kicking ass.
Locke was made to look like a fool the entire season. Every step of the way, Ben was making him look stupid. Not cool. And then it ends with him DYING?! I have to admit I didn't see that one coming. I was sure it would be Michael for the longest time. I guess Michael probably wouldn't have any remains though. Dude got blown up. Either way, Locke needs a lot more to do next year and he needs to blow some more shit up.
Okay, one more thing I hated and then we'll turn to the stuff that pleased me.
Michael. Wow. That was it? He was gone for a whole season and when he comes back, that's all you give him to do? Like I said earlier, I know a lot of this had to do with the writers strike, but still... he showed up and had a great episode, then what? He got beat up a lot and then he tried and failed to stop a bomb. The end. Fuck it. Harold has already complained about that. I agree with him. They botched it.
The good.
Okay, now I know I just complained about him but I'll have to say Michael again. I know they fucked up with him in the long run, but Meet Kevin Johnson was amazing. I'd go so far as to say his (Harold Perreinus) acting in that episode was the best the show has ever seen. Really, who else tops his performance? I can't think of anyone. Except maybe Michael Emerson in The Shape of Things to Come, but really, it's no match. Harold did great and that dude deserves an Emmy or something for that episode.
I also loved that we finally got some answers this year. And lots of action. Even if it did mean we had to let the characters fall to the wayside for most of the time. Like I said, this was a transition season and I think next year it'll be back to normal. Although I hope they still give us some answers.
Sayid had his best season ever. I never cared much for the character the way some people have but this season he really was great.
I loved that they at least mentioned Mr. Eko. Now I can die happily.
Loved that Walt looked like a 25 year old gang member (because he's black. Get it?) I really hope he becomes a series regular next year. I know that kid was annoying but come on, they made Walt seem way too important not to use him again. He's gotta go back. HE'S GOTTA GO BACK!!
Alright, I'm already bored with this. Let's get down to business. The best episodes in ranked order are-
1. Meet Kevin Johnson
2. The Shape of Things to Come
3. Something Nice Back Home
4. The Economist
5. The Constant
6. There's No Place Like Home (parts 1, 2 and 3. I count them as a whole)
7. Ji Yeon
8. Confirmed Dead
9. The Beginning of the End
10. Cabin Fever
11. The Other Woman
12. Eggtown
I'd rank the season-
1. Season 1
2. Season 3 (it started off slow but once it got to the middle of the season it kicked ass like never before)
3. Season 4
4. Season 2
This season gets an 8.5/10 from me. Great action and all that but next time, please focus on the characters a little more. As much as I love that we're getting answers finally I don't want it to ruin the greatest characters on t.v.
Ben is the seasons MVP. Sayid comes in second place. Michael could have been the MVP had they kept it up after Meet Kevin Johnson but it all went downhill for him after that.
Locke was MVP of season 1, Mr. Eko MVP of season 2 and Sawyer MVP of season 3 (although Locke and Ben were close behind).
And finally, I hope in season five they have more comedy. A suggestion- Jack and Ben gets into crazy hijinks trying to get Locke's dead body back to the island. Weekend at Bernie's style. Carrying his body out of the funeral parlor, a young police man walks up. "What are you guys doing??", he asks. Jack and Ben exchange looks of terror. "Uh, nothin', man.", says Jack. "He's just real drunk... he's a fuckin' retard, man."
Stuff like that.
-Maynard
P.S. Claire looked fat as shit in the last episode.
So, to start off, this won't be a real review. Well, it kind of will. I don't know. Fuck it. Let's just see where this goes.
So.. uh... season four. What to say about it? It was... different. To say the least. Flash forwards, flashbacks, lots of action, some twists and turns. I don't know how to explain it really... it was fantastic but it left me feeling hollow somehow. I was very disappointed by many aspects of this season to be honest. But a lot of it was better than I ever expected. Let's start with the bad.
Character development. There were three episodes this season where they really fleshed out the characters and all their feelings. Meet Kevin Johnson, The Shape of Things to Come and Something Nice Back Home. I guess The Constant sort of did too, but not the same way. Either way, it's because of the character development that those three episodes I mentioned are among my favorites of this season. I guess since we're in season four and they've only got so many episodes left to tell the story that they figured, "Hell, they know the characters by now, let's just get this shit over with."
That leads me to the other complaint. It was so rushed, wasn't it? But this I can't blame on the writers. Well, yeah I can, cause they're the ones that went on strike. But at least when they came back from the very long hiatus they were great. But because of it we always learned almost nothing of people like Faraday, Miles and (especially) Charlotte. At least they have given her a sort of interesting character arc for season five (She was apparently born on the island... or some shit... that's why she decided to stay on the island).
Miles, on the other hand, I have no idea why he stayed behind. I guess he still wants that fucking money. He will, hopefully, have a shitload to do next year. Talking to ghosts, going on adventures, talking shit. Miles is going to be awesome.
Faraday will be too once we learn more about him, I'm sure. Although there's no telling where he is. Last we saw he was heading back towards the island on his little boat, and then it disappeared. Then he was nowhere to be seen. My guess- hell, he just disappeared with it. Wherever (or whenever) it went, he went with it. I think. Either way let's just say the new characters seemed interesting but weren't given much of a chance this year so we can only hope for the best next year.
The thing about this season is, it was kind of like The Empire Strikes Back. It's an incredibly pivotal season but at the same time it was sort of like nothing began and nothing ended. This was a set up season for next year. Not that it didn't have plenty of great moments, but it didn't feel like a stand alone season the way the others have. It feels more like the first chapter of a new story. Which I'm almost sure was the plan the whole time.
Sawyer. Sucked. For the whole season. Next year, please let him be awesome and cool again. No more straight up hero shit. Sawyer is at his most interesting when he's helping the team while still serving his own purpose. Or at least still kicking ass.
Locke was made to look like a fool the entire season. Every step of the way, Ben was making him look stupid. Not cool. And then it ends with him DYING?! I have to admit I didn't see that one coming. I was sure it would be Michael for the longest time. I guess Michael probably wouldn't have any remains though. Dude got blown up. Either way, Locke needs a lot more to do next year and he needs to blow some more shit up.
Okay, one more thing I hated and then we'll turn to the stuff that pleased me.
Michael. Wow. That was it? He was gone for a whole season and when he comes back, that's all you give him to do? Like I said earlier, I know a lot of this had to do with the writers strike, but still... he showed up and had a great episode, then what? He got beat up a lot and then he tried and failed to stop a bomb. The end. Fuck it. Harold has already complained about that. I agree with him. They botched it.
The good.
Okay, now I know I just complained about him but I'll have to say Michael again. I know they fucked up with him in the long run, but Meet Kevin Johnson was amazing. I'd go so far as to say his (Harold Perreinus) acting in that episode was the best the show has ever seen. Really, who else tops his performance? I can't think of anyone. Except maybe Michael Emerson in The Shape of Things to Come, but really, it's no match. Harold did great and that dude deserves an Emmy or something for that episode.
I also loved that we finally got some answers this year. And lots of action. Even if it did mean we had to let the characters fall to the wayside for most of the time. Like I said, this was a transition season and I think next year it'll be back to normal. Although I hope they still give us some answers.
Sayid had his best season ever. I never cared much for the character the way some people have but this season he really was great.
I loved that they at least mentioned Mr. Eko. Now I can die happily.
Loved that Walt looked like a 25 year old gang member (because he's black. Get it?) I really hope he becomes a series regular next year. I know that kid was annoying but come on, they made Walt seem way too important not to use him again. He's gotta go back. HE'S GOTTA GO BACK!!
Alright, I'm already bored with this. Let's get down to business. The best episodes in ranked order are-
1. Meet Kevin Johnson
2. The Shape of Things to Come
3. Something Nice Back Home
4. The Economist
5. The Constant
6. There's No Place Like Home (parts 1, 2 and 3. I count them as a whole)
7. Ji Yeon
8. Confirmed Dead
9. The Beginning of the End
10. Cabin Fever
11. The Other Woman
12. Eggtown
I'd rank the season-
1. Season 1
2. Season 3 (it started off slow but once it got to the middle of the season it kicked ass like never before)
3. Season 4
4. Season 2
This season gets an 8.5/10 from me. Great action and all that but next time, please focus on the characters a little more. As much as I love that we're getting answers finally I don't want it to ruin the greatest characters on t.v.
Ben is the seasons MVP. Sayid comes in second place. Michael could have been the MVP had they kept it up after Meet Kevin Johnson but it all went downhill for him after that.
Locke was MVP of season 1, Mr. Eko MVP of season 2 and Sawyer MVP of season 3 (although Locke and Ben were close behind).
And finally, I hope in season five they have more comedy. A suggestion- Jack and Ben gets into crazy hijinks trying to get Locke's dead body back to the island. Weekend at Bernie's style. Carrying his body out of the funeral parlor, a young police man walks up. "What are you guys doing??", he asks. Jack and Ben exchange looks of terror. "Uh, nothin', man.", says Jack. "He's just real drunk... he's a fuckin' retard, man."
Stuff like that.
-Maynard
P.S. Claire looked fat as shit in the last episode.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Avril Lavigne/Jonas Brothers Concert!!
My very first concert and it was pretty awesome.
So i decided to go by bus instead of train, when i got to the bus station, i wish i would of went by train. I was just sitting in the bus station and this old guy came up to me and started talking to me. "When did they build this new bus station?" "Did they build it in the day?" "Did they build it at night?" "Have you seen the new bus station in Dunfermline?" "Lovely weather isn't it" "It's raining in England" i'm like to myself "JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY, I DON'T KNOW YOU!!" i never said that though. I guess i just answered all the questions. What a weirdo. So i got in the bus, a freaky thing happened, well i thought it was freaky. I was listening to Avril songs on my Ipod, and just when the song "When You're Gone" came on my Ipod, one of those funeral cars with a coffin in the back of it drove past the bus. I thought that was pretty freaky like. The journey lasted like 2 hours, pretty cool scenery and shit. I went to McDonalds, i've never actually noticed this before, but McDonalds is like a "babe heaven" they all seem to hang out there!! So the doors to the concert never opened until like 8:00 pm but i thought i would stand in the queue early. I got there at like 5:00pm, I'm so glad i did that. I was bascially right at the door near enough. The queue was like a mile long, haha those suckers. Standing in the queue for like 3 hours in the wind. It was so worth it!! Though there was some emo guy behind me who wouldn't shut up. Talking about emo things with his friends or crew or whatever the emo's call them. Infront of me though was three hot chicks who were singing Avril Lavigne songs and dancing. So that was pretty awesome. ;) Got in the door, some of the security people were frisking people, obviously the shady characters. Rock got in without getting frisked. (high fives). I got right to the front of the stage, which was pretty damn good. So this band called the Jonas Brothers came on first, never heard of them before though. They sounded like a British band called Busted though. I don't think anyone really cared about them performing, well maybe some of the chicks cared. I was situated right in front of the left amp, fucking loud as fuck. My ears were ringing. The lead singer of the Jonas Brothers went into the crowd, not my side thankfully. Then they finished there songs off and left. Thank god. Then Avril came on rocking out. She started off with the song "Girlfriend" It was so amazing getting to be that actual close to her. She's so tiny with her skimpy outfit on. She was doing cartwheels and shit. Through the concert this chick to the right of me, well a little right to me. She kept looking over my way. Like for at least 10 minutes. Then she suddenly made her way through the crowd in my direction. I thought to myself "this is your big moment, don't blow it" she walked right past me and into the girls toilet. :( I guess she was just looking in my direction to see when the queue would be down to go and do her stuff. What a slut, a hot slut i might add. I took a whole load of pictures, but most of them were blurry because it's hard to try and take pictures when your camera is in mid air and trying to keep it steady and shit. I also managed to sneak in some video time. With me being so close to the front though, the fucking security guards kept telling us to not record. Damn bastards. All the fuckers in the middle were filming the whole thing. It was much better being closer to Avril Lavigne though. Avril so well kept looking in my direction, it was clear to see we had a connection. She even said i rocked in a video, which you'll see down below. Lol. There was this big ginger guy standing next to me. He must of had like five cans of beer or something. When Avril started singing "Skater Boi" he was jumping all over the place with his friends. Moshing out like he was at a Slipknot concert or shit. The fucker banged into me all night. So i kept pushing him back. On the way out though he apologized to me, because he knows who is the boss, ME! I'm glad i went the Monday night though, her laryngitis was starting to show when she was performing her last couple of songs. All those suckers could well of got sloppy seconds on Tuesday. MUHAHA. Overall it rocked out. It makes me want to go to more concerts now.
-Bada
Not the best filming i have ever done in my life, had to hide it from the security guards.
She said i rocked.
Singing Complicated.
Singing My Happy Ending.
So i decided to go by bus instead of train, when i got to the bus station, i wish i would of went by train. I was just sitting in the bus station and this old guy came up to me and started talking to me. "When did they build this new bus station?" "Did they build it in the day?" "Did they build it at night?" "Have you seen the new bus station in Dunfermline?" "Lovely weather isn't it" "It's raining in England" i'm like to myself "JUST SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY, I DON'T KNOW YOU!!" i never said that though. I guess i just answered all the questions. What a weirdo. So i got in the bus, a freaky thing happened, well i thought it was freaky. I was listening to Avril songs on my Ipod, and just when the song "When You're Gone" came on my Ipod, one of those funeral cars with a coffin in the back of it drove past the bus. I thought that was pretty freaky like. The journey lasted like 2 hours, pretty cool scenery and shit. I went to McDonalds, i've never actually noticed this before, but McDonalds is like a "babe heaven" they all seem to hang out there!! So the doors to the concert never opened until like 8:00 pm but i thought i would stand in the queue early. I got there at like 5:00pm, I'm so glad i did that. I was bascially right at the door near enough. The queue was like a mile long, haha those suckers. Standing in the queue for like 3 hours in the wind. It was so worth it!! Though there was some emo guy behind me who wouldn't shut up. Talking about emo things with his friends or crew or whatever the emo's call them. Infront of me though was three hot chicks who were singing Avril Lavigne songs and dancing. So that was pretty awesome. ;) Got in the door, some of the security people were frisking people, obviously the shady characters. Rock got in without getting frisked. (high fives). I got right to the front of the stage, which was pretty damn good. So this band called the Jonas Brothers came on first, never heard of them before though. They sounded like a British band called Busted though. I don't think anyone really cared about them performing, well maybe some of the chicks cared. I was situated right in front of the left amp, fucking loud as fuck. My ears were ringing. The lead singer of the Jonas Brothers went into the crowd, not my side thankfully. Then they finished there songs off and left. Thank god. Then Avril came on rocking out. She started off with the song "Girlfriend" It was so amazing getting to be that actual close to her. She's so tiny with her skimpy outfit on. She was doing cartwheels and shit. Through the concert this chick to the right of me, well a little right to me. She kept looking over my way. Like for at least 10 minutes. Then she suddenly made her way through the crowd in my direction. I thought to myself "this is your big moment, don't blow it" she walked right past me and into the girls toilet. :( I guess she was just looking in my direction to see when the queue would be down to go and do her stuff. What a slut, a hot slut i might add. I took a whole load of pictures, but most of them were blurry because it's hard to try and take pictures when your camera is in mid air and trying to keep it steady and shit. I also managed to sneak in some video time. With me being so close to the front though, the fucking security guards kept telling us to not record. Damn bastards. All the fuckers in the middle were filming the whole thing. It was much better being closer to Avril Lavigne though. Avril so well kept looking in my direction, it was clear to see we had a connection. She even said i rocked in a video, which you'll see down below. Lol. There was this big ginger guy standing next to me. He must of had like five cans of beer or something. When Avril started singing "Skater Boi" he was jumping all over the place with his friends. Moshing out like he was at a Slipknot concert or shit. The fucker banged into me all night. So i kept pushing him back. On the way out though he apologized to me, because he knows who is the boss, ME! I'm glad i went the Monday night though, her laryngitis was starting to show when she was performing her last couple of songs. All those suckers could well of got sloppy seconds on Tuesday. MUHAHA. Overall it rocked out. It makes me want to go to more concerts now.
-Bada
Not the best filming i have ever done in my life, had to hide it from the security guards.
She said i rocked.
Singing Complicated.
Singing My Happy Ending.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Champions. :)
May 21st 2008 is the day Manchester United became European Champions for a third time!! :)
When Manchester United won it, i went absolute mental and in a result in that, i ended up breaking my headphones. They just came apart Lol.
-Bada.
When Manchester United won it, i went absolute mental and in a result in that, i ended up breaking my headphones. They just came apart Lol.
-Bada.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Eat shit and die, fags!!
Why do I speak to you like this? Cause fuck you, that's why. Indianapolis gets to host the Superbowl in 2012, NIGGAZZZ!! So get ready cause in four years we're gonna CLASS THAT SHIT UP!!
HOLLAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Indianapolis is so awesome. Even Dennis Hopper thinks so. He appeared in a fifteen minute video on behalf of the city, imploring those idiots that run the league to just let us have it for once.
There's on old saying- if you don't agree with Dennis Hopper it's because you're and idiot and you can eat shit. If Indianapolis is good enough for Frank Booth it's good enough for you.
In other news, 2012 is also the year that the world is apparently supposed to end. If Indianapolis gets to host the Superbowl and if the Colts could somehow win it... I'd be cool with the world blowing up. Nothing else to live for.
-Maynard
HOLLAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Indianapolis is so awesome. Even Dennis Hopper thinks so. He appeared in a fifteen minute video on behalf of the city, imploring those idiots that run the league to just let us have it for once.
There's on old saying- if you don't agree with Dennis Hopper it's because you're and idiot and you can eat shit. If Indianapolis is good enough for Frank Booth it's good enough for you.
In other news, 2012 is also the year that the world is apparently supposed to end. If Indianapolis gets to host the Superbowl and if the Colts could somehow win it... I'd be cool with the world blowing up. Nothing else to live for.
-Maynard
Monday, May 19, 2008
This video proves it
Mike Huckabee is hilarious and women don't know how to act when they're in public.
-Maynard
-Maynard
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Guess I was wrong.
Remember when I (and all of you, too) thought the Boston Celtics would cruise past all comers in the Eastern Conference? Hehe, yeah, that seems so long ago. They've been forced into another game 7 by the Cavs. This coming after they were forced into a game 7 by THE HAWKS!! Those guys didn't even finished above .500, did they? What's going on here? Why are they sputtering so badly?
Well, anywho, it's time for my updated NBA Playoff predictions.
OUT EAST-
Celtics vs. Cavs- Game 7. I'll say Celtics cause I don't want to be too much of a flip flopper. But the Cavs could easily take this game. If the Celtics beat the Cavs I'll say the Pistons will win the East in a 6 game series. If the Cavs beat the Celtics, Pistons beat Cavs in 5 games. Just a guess.
OUT WEST-
Hornets vs. Spurs- Game 7. This is tough. I want so badly for the Hornets to win. CP3 vs. Kobe. Let's find out who really deserved that MVP award. But I'll go out of a small limb and say the Spurs will win this one.
If it's Lakers vs. Spurs, I really think the Spurs will take it in 7 games. If it's the Lakers vs Hornets, Lakers in 6 (even though I love the Hornets)
I'm now predicting a Pistons vs. Spurs Finals with the Spurs winning in 7 games. But the Lakers really have a shot here. They've been playing great. I just hate them so damn much.
If it's a Lakers vs. Pistons Finals I might not even care. I hate them both. I like the Celtics but I hate Boston so I hope they don't win either.
If either the Hornets or Spurs win, I'll be happy.
-M
Well, anywho, it's time for my updated NBA Playoff predictions.
OUT EAST-
Celtics vs. Cavs- Game 7. I'll say Celtics cause I don't want to be too much of a flip flopper. But the Cavs could easily take this game. If the Celtics beat the Cavs I'll say the Pistons will win the East in a 6 game series. If the Cavs beat the Celtics, Pistons beat Cavs in 5 games. Just a guess.
OUT WEST-
Hornets vs. Spurs- Game 7. This is tough. I want so badly for the Hornets to win. CP3 vs. Kobe. Let's find out who really deserved that MVP award. But I'll go out of a small limb and say the Spurs will win this one.
If it's Lakers vs. Spurs, I really think the Spurs will take it in 7 games. If it's the Lakers vs Hornets, Lakers in 6 (even though I love the Hornets)
I'm now predicting a Pistons vs. Spurs Finals with the Spurs winning in 7 games. But the Lakers really have a shot here. They've been playing great. I just hate them so damn much.
If it's a Lakers vs. Pistons Finals I might not even care. I hate them both. I like the Celtics but I hate Boston so I hope they don't win either.
If either the Hornets or Spurs win, I'll be happy.
-M
Thursday, May 15, 2008
I knew Reggie Miller was cool
Reggie Miller has always been awesome. And this photo proves it.
Ace. Check that shit. And I thought this guy was awesome when he was hitting all those three's. But then he wears that outfit and pours that vodka down that Asian chicks throat... delicious. Classy as shit. All time leader in three pointers.
Never won us a championship though...
-Maynard
Ace. Check that shit. And I thought this guy was awesome when he was hitting all those three's. But then he wears that outfit and pours that vodka down that Asian chicks throat... delicious. Classy as shit. All time leader in three pointers.
Never won us a championship though...
-Maynard
Monday, May 12, 2008
New idea for a t.v. show
Premise: The dead have risen and are running for President.
- "Roooowwwrrr!! Me want to be President. Me want... brains..."
- "Zombie President cares not for the economy.... Zombie President cares only for... brains..."
- "Zombie President promises to give tax breaks to the working class in exchange for delicious... brains..."
- "Get those camera's out of here, Zombie President is feeding!! (woman (or man) screams as Zombie President bites into her (or his) neck)
- "Zombie McCain wishes to distance himself with Bush... nom nom nom."
So I think I could get a good season or two out of this. First season he's running for President... then he loses. Second season... would never happen because it would be canceled before the first season ended :( :(
-M
- "Roooowwwrrr!! Me want to be President. Me want... brains..."
- "Zombie President cares not for the economy.... Zombie President cares only for... brains..."
- "Zombie President promises to give tax breaks to the working class in exchange for delicious... brains..."
- "Get those camera's out of here, Zombie President is feeding!! (woman (or man) screams as Zombie President bites into her (or his) neck)
- "Zombie McCain wishes to distance himself with Bush... nom nom nom."So I think I could get a good season or two out of this. First season he's running for President... then he loses. Second season... would never happen because it would be canceled before the first season ended :( :(
-M
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
Girls don't know shit about shit
Anyone ever heard of some book called Twilight? Me either. Cause I don't read shit. But apparently girls do. It's sold like 4 million copies. Every single one of them was sold to a girl. I bet.
It's apparently about a girl that falls in love with a vampire. Why is it that girls are always falling in love with vampires? Because girls don't know shit about shit. I don't give a fuck how hot a girl is, if she's a vampire she's gonna get kicked 2 DA CURB!! I don't need one of those fucking things biting at my dayum NECK!!
Anywho, here's the trailer for the new Twilight movie. Apparently chicks all over have been, like, going nuts over this thing. They've been making little videos about it on youtube and whatnot. I don't see what's so great about it. It looks like a made for t.v. movie. Like... Sci Fi channel or something. It sucks is what I'm saying.
Wow.
Girls don't know shit about shit.
-M
It's apparently about a girl that falls in love with a vampire. Why is it that girls are always falling in love with vampires? Because girls don't know shit about shit. I don't give a fuck how hot a girl is, if she's a vampire she's gonna get kicked 2 DA CURB!! I don't need one of those fucking things biting at my dayum NECK!!
Anywho, here's the trailer for the new Twilight movie. Apparently chicks all over have been, like, going nuts over this thing. They've been making little videos about it on youtube and whatnot. I don't see what's so great about it. It looks like a made for t.v. movie. Like... Sci Fi channel or something. It sucks is what I'm saying.
Wow.
Girls don't know shit about shit.
-M
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Top Ten: Characters That Should Be on Lost
Okay, so by now you know that I love Lost. Best show on t.v. But could it be better? That depends on a few things. If you love the characters more than the plot than the answer is probably "Yes". I love the plot and everything as well, but face it- you wouldn't care a bit about all the mysteries if the characters were boring. We need or Lockes and Bens and Jacks to keep us interested. And so I decided to think of ten more characters, from movies and television, that would add to the shows overall greatness (well.. I got the idea from the Lost boards on IMDb... but they didn't come up with ten characters like I did. So fuck them.)
Also, feel free to add your own.
10. Mr. Eko- Okay, this one is a cheat since he was already on the show once. But they killed him!! And I know he asked to be written off the show and everything, but just imagine how awesome he would have been during season four. Damn man... I wish he were still around.
9. The Bride from the Kill Bill movies- She'd have an interesting back story at least. And she'd be a hell of a lot more interesting/entertaining than all the other females castaways. One of the reason Ana-Lucia is my favorite female member from the show was that she wasn't useless. She could kick some ass if she needed to. But The Bride could do it 100x better. It would have been fun to see her interact with all the other characters on this show. Ah well. I don't see her dying.
8. GOB Bluth from Arrested Development- I was going to put Tobias but I think GOB would be funnier if trapped on a magical island. He is a magician after all. Plus he's got such low self esteem... it would be funny to watch him try to pick up the ladies (with his magic), insult/embarrass them, then go cry in the jungle only to have Locke come out of nowhere and give him a little speech. This would help GOB to get his confidence back, then go out and repeat the whole process, all while not lifting a finger to help anyone do anything. He'd probably be dead by season 3 at the latest.
7. Bill the Butcher from Gangs of New York- Okay, so he comes from a completely different time, but still... it could be cool. After getting over the shock of the plane crash, Bill would quickly start recruiting. All white Americans are free to join his camp while all blacks, Europeans, Asians, Mexicans, Australians, Arabs (and anyone else I forgot) need not apply to join him. Then, after a few weeks and rallying the troops, he'd wage a full scale war against the dirty fucking mutts. He'd probably die really quickly. Unlike some of the bad guys on this list, I don't think he could hide his hatreds. I'd say a season one death would be most likely.
6. Brock Sampson from The Venture Bros.- Okay, so he's a cartoon, but fuck it. None of that shit on the island could happen anyways. Get over yourself. Anywho... how awesome would Brock be on this show? Unstoppable killing machine finding plenty of action and adventure (and ladies) on a magical island? Actually, now that I think about it, that might suck. He'd just murder all The Others in season one or two and then there'd be no show. Plus there'd be no power struggle between Jack and Locke because Brock would have been the clear leader from the beginning. Plus all the romance would have been taken out of the show because he'd get all the girls too. But still... those first few episodes would have been entertaining. I don't think he'd die at all on the island.
5. Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver- Think of the awkwardness!! He'd probably try to be a hunter and provider for everyone (or maybe just for himself). But then he, and everyone else, would realize he's from New York and doesn't know shit about hunting. So then he'd spend his time trying to protect Claire and Aaron. Only that was also Charlie's job and they'd get jealous of each other. Soon Claire would realize she'd need to start sticking a lot closer to Charlie once she actually got to know Travis though... that dude creeps ladies the fuck out. He'd probably die in season one by starting a fight with someone.
4. Clementine Kruczynski from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- She'd spend her days on the island fucking (and fucking with) all the male castaways. Loving them one minute, hating them the next and then breaking down and crying for hours at a time. She'd probably be killed by the rest of the castaways in season two after everyone finally gets sick of her shit. Out of all the character's I've mentioned, I think she would actually be the most likely to have been a real character on the show.
3. Frank Booth from Blue Velvet- Think of the drama!! One of the craziest motherfuckers of all time trapped on an island with the rest of the castaways. How would he act? Friendly? Evilly? He'd probably pull some shit, like kidnapping Kate or some other chick, then when they got her back he'd be banished from the island and would spend the rest of season one trying to get on everyone's good side. Then he'd turn evil again, kidnap Claire and finally be murdered (by Charlie). FUCK IT!!
2. Ash from the Evil Dead Trilogy- Imagine the conflict!! He's a strong leader like Jack, he's a smart alec like Sawyer, he believes in all kinds of crazy shit like Locke and he's got a chainsaw for a hand. You just KNOW this motherfucker would be kicking ass and taking names. He could fight Jack for leader ship, fight Jack AND Sawyer for Kate's affections, then fight Charlie for Claire's affections, then go on adventure in the jungle with Locke or Eko, then come back and fight Jack and Saywer some more, then say something funny, then go to sleep. ALL IN ONE DAY!!. I don't see him dying in this show.
1. George Costanza from Seinfeld- Go ahead, try to come up with a better answer. You can't!! George Costanza being trapped on the Lost island is one of the best things anyone has ever thought of. He probably wouldn't be involved in the mysteries too much though. He'd mostly hang around the beach, trying to scam everyone out of their freshly caught fish. Or trying to get the best beach spot by telling everyone his horrible life story. Lying, complaining, stealing. Basically, he'd be useless. He'd be more than useless, he'd be a real problem for everyone on the island. But a hilarious problem. Although, truth be told, I couldn't see him living past season one or two. He'd starve. So yeah, he'd probably die... but hilariously.
Well, there you go. That's my list. In related news, I am in desperate need of an actual life :( :(
-M
Also, feel free to add your own.
10. Mr. Eko- Okay, this one is a cheat since he was already on the show once. But they killed him!! And I know he asked to be written off the show and everything, but just imagine how awesome he would have been during season four. Damn man... I wish he were still around.
9. The Bride from the Kill Bill movies- She'd have an interesting back story at least. And she'd be a hell of a lot more interesting/entertaining than all the other females castaways. One of the reason Ana-Lucia is my favorite female member from the show was that she wasn't useless. She could kick some ass if she needed to. But The Bride could do it 100x better. It would have been fun to see her interact with all the other characters on this show. Ah well. I don't see her dying.
8. GOB Bluth from Arrested Development- I was going to put Tobias but I think GOB would be funnier if trapped on a magical island. He is a magician after all. Plus he's got such low self esteem... it would be funny to watch him try to pick up the ladies (with his magic), insult/embarrass them, then go cry in the jungle only to have Locke come out of nowhere and give him a little speech. This would help GOB to get his confidence back, then go out and repeat the whole process, all while not lifting a finger to help anyone do anything. He'd probably be dead by season 3 at the latest.
7. Bill the Butcher from Gangs of New York- Okay, so he comes from a completely different time, but still... it could be cool. After getting over the shock of the plane crash, Bill would quickly start recruiting. All white Americans are free to join his camp while all blacks, Europeans, Asians, Mexicans, Australians, Arabs (and anyone else I forgot) need not apply to join him. Then, after a few weeks and rallying the troops, he'd wage a full scale war against the dirty fucking mutts. He'd probably die really quickly. Unlike some of the bad guys on this list, I don't think he could hide his hatreds. I'd say a season one death would be most likely.
6. Brock Sampson from The Venture Bros.- Okay, so he's a cartoon, but fuck it. None of that shit on the island could happen anyways. Get over yourself. Anywho... how awesome would Brock be on this show? Unstoppable killing machine finding plenty of action and adventure (and ladies) on a magical island? Actually, now that I think about it, that might suck. He'd just murder all The Others in season one or two and then there'd be no show. Plus there'd be no power struggle between Jack and Locke because Brock would have been the clear leader from the beginning. Plus all the romance would have been taken out of the show because he'd get all the girls too. But still... those first few episodes would have been entertaining. I don't think he'd die at all on the island.
5. Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver- Think of the awkwardness!! He'd probably try to be a hunter and provider for everyone (or maybe just for himself). But then he, and everyone else, would realize he's from New York and doesn't know shit about hunting. So then he'd spend his time trying to protect Claire and Aaron. Only that was also Charlie's job and they'd get jealous of each other. Soon Claire would realize she'd need to start sticking a lot closer to Charlie once she actually got to know Travis though... that dude creeps ladies the fuck out. He'd probably die in season one by starting a fight with someone.
4. Clementine Kruczynski from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- She'd spend her days on the island fucking (and fucking with) all the male castaways. Loving them one minute, hating them the next and then breaking down and crying for hours at a time. She'd probably be killed by the rest of the castaways in season two after everyone finally gets sick of her shit. Out of all the character's I've mentioned, I think she would actually be the most likely to have been a real character on the show.
3. Frank Booth from Blue Velvet- Think of the drama!! One of the craziest motherfuckers of all time trapped on an island with the rest of the castaways. How would he act? Friendly? Evilly? He'd probably pull some shit, like kidnapping Kate or some other chick, then when they got her back he'd be banished from the island and would spend the rest of season one trying to get on everyone's good side. Then he'd turn evil again, kidnap Claire and finally be murdered (by Charlie). FUCK IT!!
2. Ash from the Evil Dead Trilogy- Imagine the conflict!! He's a strong leader like Jack, he's a smart alec like Sawyer, he believes in all kinds of crazy shit like Locke and he's got a chainsaw for a hand. You just KNOW this motherfucker would be kicking ass and taking names. He could fight Jack for leader ship, fight Jack AND Sawyer for Kate's affections, then fight Charlie for Claire's affections, then go on adventure in the jungle with Locke or Eko, then come back and fight Jack and Saywer some more, then say something funny, then go to sleep. ALL IN ONE DAY!!. I don't see him dying in this show.
1. George Costanza from Seinfeld- Go ahead, try to come up with a better answer. You can't!! George Costanza being trapped on the Lost island is one of the best things anyone has ever thought of. He probably wouldn't be involved in the mysteries too much though. He'd mostly hang around the beach, trying to scam everyone out of their freshly caught fish. Or trying to get the best beach spot by telling everyone his horrible life story. Lying, complaining, stealing. Basically, he'd be useless. He'd be more than useless, he'd be a real problem for everyone on the island. But a hilarious problem. Although, truth be told, I couldn't see him living past season one or two. He'd starve. So yeah, he'd probably die... but hilariously.
Well, there you go. That's my list. In related news, I am in desperate need of an actual life :( :(
-M
Monday, May 5, 2008
Birthday FTW!!
Well its my birthday today. Just turned 20 years old and have been having an almost good day.
Only got one present though...
thats what i got! thats ALL! my nieces MADE (didn't buy) it for me. i never asked for anything like that. i never said "I LOVE TRASH SO GIVE ME SOME!" but thats what i got :(
thats not all that happened. Maynard had an idea because he would not buy me birthday candles. he said to me he said " well since we dont have the money for candles what we will do is sing to you and at the end you will turn off the lights and we will cheer" and another idea where i had to sing for myself then turn off the lights. and its in the middle of the damn day so what would that even do?
anyways thats all i have to say
you should donate money
OH YEAH NOW FOR THE SHOCKING PART!!
i do like the present its funny ^______^
-L
Only got one present though...
thats what i got! thats ALL! my nieces MADE (didn't buy) it for me. i never asked for anything like that. i never said "I LOVE TRASH SO GIVE ME SOME!" but thats what i got :(
thats not all that happened. Maynard had an idea because he would not buy me birthday candles. he said to me he said " well since we dont have the money for candles what we will do is sing to you and at the end you will turn off the lights and we will cheer" and another idea where i had to sing for myself then turn off the lights. and its in the middle of the damn day so what would that even do?
anyways thats all i have to say
you should donate money
OH YEAH NOW FOR THE SHOCKING PART!!
i do like the present its funny ^______^
-L
Hillary Clinton = Eight Belles
The tragic death of Eight Belles at the Hillbilly Derby just got a lot funnier. Turns out Hillary Clinton was a strong supporter of the only filly in the derby. She even kind of compared herself to the beast. You know... cause she was a girl and no one thought she could win...
“I hope that everybody will go to the derby on Saturday and place just a little money on the filly for me,” she said. “I won’t be able to be there this year, my daughter is going to be there and so she has strict instructions to bet on Eight Belles.”
Then she came in second place and died.
So let's check this out here... the only filly in the race loses to "Big Brown" and then dies. Wow. That's kind of ironic I think. Will history repeat itself with the Democratic election? Only time will tell whether or not "Big Brown" can beat the girl again... and possibly kill her.
In other news, it's Lando's 20th birthday. He thinks he deserves special treatment because of this. Like I care. Motherfucker still owes me money. He'll get his birthday present when I get what's coming TO ME.
Also... my lawnmower doesn't work. So my yard has gone wild.... that's not a funny story I guess, but it's 100% true.
More later kids.
-M
“I hope that everybody will go to the derby on Saturday and place just a little money on the filly for me,” she said. “I won’t be able to be there this year, my daughter is going to be there and so she has strict instructions to bet on Eight Belles.”
Then she came in second place and died.
So let's check this out here... the only filly in the race loses to "Big Brown" and then dies. Wow. That's kind of ironic I think. Will history repeat itself with the Democratic election? Only time will tell whether or not "Big Brown" can beat the girl again... and possibly kill her.
In other news, it's Lando's 20th birthday. He thinks he deserves special treatment because of this. Like I care. Motherfucker still owes me money. He'll get his birthday present when I get what's coming TO ME.
Also... my lawnmower doesn't work. So my yard has gone wild.... that's not a funny story I guess, but it's 100% true.
More later kids.
-M
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Go horse, GO!!
Ain't that some shit? The Hillbilly Derby was today and favorite to win, Big Brown, did so in convincing fashion. The runner up (or whatever they call it) Eight Belles (or something like that) ended up DYING. She broke her ankles just after the race (or during it or something, I dunno. I didn't do a lot of fact checking), so they put her down. My mom was really rooting for that horse to win. So that sucks. Especially for the owners. Not only did she not win but she also DIED. That's a bad day right there.
-Maynard
(NOTE: I didn't realize until I had already posted this that I didn't give the horse a tail. Things just keep getting worse for the poor thing)
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Charles Ray Fuller
Charles Ray Fuller is the latest entry into The Classy's. What has this man done to join the likes of me and Dick Masterson? He tried to cash a check for 360 billion dollars.
Let me tell you something. If I was with that guy when he walked into the bank and did that shit, I'd have thrown so many high fives his way he couldn't handle it. That's fucking awesome and classy to max.
Why did he need 360 billion dollars? To start one of the classiest businesses you can get into- the record business of course!! This guy is from Texas so I assume it would have been some shitty rap label or country label, so... he losses some Classy points for bad taste in music. But still... this guy walked into a bank and tried to cash a check for 360 billion dollars. How Ace is that?
-M
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I think there's something wrong with me
Because I really, reallly like Scarlett Johansson's cover of Tom Waits "Falling Down", a song which is been pretty much universally panned everywhere I've looked. I've listened to it like five times now and it really is my favorite song so far this year. I'm not a fan of actors turned singers either guys, but this song rules. So what if she sounds like Nico? You know who else sounded like Nico? Nico. And last time I checked that didn't bother most people. Really, the vocals for this song go absolutely perfectly with the music and the mood it creates.
Now one thing I really will agree on is that the video kind of sucks. It looks too much like Lost in Translation (because it has Asian people), and I guess it goes well enough with the song, but the first thing I thought of when I saw the video was that she was trying to remind everyone of her best movie. But I quickly forgot about that and got right back into the song.
I know I'll never convince the people who hate it to change their minds and I'm not too bothered really. I know this is a good song. And hey, David Bowie thought it was good enough to lend his vocals too as well. So suck it.
Now one thing I really will agree on is that the video kind of sucks. It looks too much like Lost in Translation (because it has Asian people), and I guess it goes well enough with the song, but the first thing I thought of when I saw the video was that she was trying to remind everyone of her best movie. But I quickly forgot about that and got right back into the song.
I know I'll never convince the people who hate it to change their minds and I'm not too bothered really. I know this is a good song. And hey, David Bowie thought it was good enough to lend his vocals too as well. So suck it.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Text Messages
Ok so here is the deal i just got like 4 text messages on my cell phone from some random chick i dont know and i thought i would share them with you i hope you injoy
Message 1:y dud u want2 fuck me lastnite if you cared somuch bout her im not tryin 2 b a smartass imjust askin u do u want 2 again or was lastnite it?
Message 2:if u care so much bout her y did u fuck me? i liked just bein with u b4 we even done anything
Message 3:i just do i did b4 we fucked
Message 4:sorry wrong no.
thats the end of it im so happy i could cry i have met a chick that i know is a slut and i also have her number now because she is also so dumb that she did not check who she was texting
she will be hearing from me very soon ;)
-Lando
Message 1:y dud u want2 fuck me lastnite if you cared somuch bout her im not tryin 2 b a smartass imjust askin u do u want 2 again or was lastnite it?
Message 2:if u care so much bout her y did u fuck me? i liked just bein with u b4 we even done anything
Message 3:i just do i did b4 we fucked
Message 4:sorry wrong no.
thats the end of it im so happy i could cry i have met a chick that i know is a slut and i also have her number now because she is also so dumb that she did not check who she was texting
she will be hearing from me very soon ;)
-Lando
Friday, April 25, 2008
Lost: Top Ten Questions
Lost was finally back last night and gave us, in my opinion, the best episode of the season. As always, they gave us plenty of answers but added plenty of new questions. Time to play- Lost: Top Ten Questions. For season four. So far.
1. So Lost is now The Ben Show? That's not a bad thing really, it's just I miss when Locke was awesome. Now he seems to be just another follower of Ben. But as least they made Ben awesome.
2. So Ben can control Smokey? Or can he only call him? If he can control him, does that mean he had the pilot and Eko killed? If he can only call it- why? And how?
3. So Ben wants to kill Penny? Wonder how Desmond will feel about that.
4. I wonder if Desmond will even know about it. No word yet on whether or not he ever gets off the island.
5. I don't like what they're doing with Sawyer. ...that's not a question. Why are they doing this to Sawyer? That's better.
As I've already said before, I loved what they did with Sawyer at the end of last year. He had finally killed Cooper but it didn't bring him peace. In fact, he was in a worse place than ever before. Dark Sawyer was one of the most interesting plot lines introduced at the end of last season. Now he's gone. Now he's all, "You alright, sweetheart?" and threatening to kill Locke if Hurley gets hurt. LAME. Plus I don't like how they're kind of going about this whole romance with Sawyer and Claire.
6. Is it just me, or has this been Sayid's best season ever? I always used to find him boring but this season I'm actually interested when he's on screen. Too bad about Nadia though. Although I have to admit he seemed a lot more upset when Shannon died and he only knew that bitch for like a month and a half.
7. "Changing the rules", eh? Ben and Widmore seem to be treating this like a big game. I figure it's got to be the whole time travel thing again. I think that's why Ben seemed so shocked when Alex actually died. He'd done this before and it never turned out that way. That may be a bit of a stretch but we'll see.
8. I wonder who killed the Doctor? He had his throat cut and all. Michael? Sayid? The Captain? And why?
9. What could Jacob possibly tell Locke or Ben or Hurley to help them out? I still expect something very bad to happen in the next few episodes involving these three. Hurley did say in his flash forward that it was a mistake to go with Locke. I wonder if he means because of the attack on the compound or something else?
10. I really hope Daniel and Miles lives through this season. Again, not a question... I wonder if Daniel and Miles will live through this season. They have so much to offer but because of this seasons extremely fast pace there hasn't been a whole lot of time to develop these two (especially not Miles). I hope they make it to next year and get some flashbacks.
There you have it. Answers these questions now or ask your own.
-Maynard
1. So Lost is now The Ben Show? That's not a bad thing really, it's just I miss when Locke was awesome. Now he seems to be just another follower of Ben. But as least they made Ben awesome.
2. So Ben can control Smokey? Or can he only call him? If he can control him, does that mean he had the pilot and Eko killed? If he can only call it- why? And how?
3. So Ben wants to kill Penny? Wonder how Desmond will feel about that.
4. I wonder if Desmond will even know about it. No word yet on whether or not he ever gets off the island.
5. I don't like what they're doing with Sawyer. ...that's not a question. Why are they doing this to Sawyer? That's better.
As I've already said before, I loved what they did with Sawyer at the end of last year. He had finally killed Cooper but it didn't bring him peace. In fact, he was in a worse place than ever before. Dark Sawyer was one of the most interesting plot lines introduced at the end of last season. Now he's gone. Now he's all, "You alright, sweetheart?" and threatening to kill Locke if Hurley gets hurt. LAME. Plus I don't like how they're kind of going about this whole romance with Sawyer and Claire.
6. Is it just me, or has this been Sayid's best season ever? I always used to find him boring but this season I'm actually interested when he's on screen. Too bad about Nadia though. Although I have to admit he seemed a lot more upset when Shannon died and he only knew that bitch for like a month and a half.
7. "Changing the rules", eh? Ben and Widmore seem to be treating this like a big game. I figure it's got to be the whole time travel thing again. I think that's why Ben seemed so shocked when Alex actually died. He'd done this before and it never turned out that way. That may be a bit of a stretch but we'll see.
8. I wonder who killed the Doctor? He had his throat cut and all. Michael? Sayid? The Captain? And why?
9. What could Jacob possibly tell Locke or Ben or Hurley to help them out? I still expect something very bad to happen in the next few episodes involving these three. Hurley did say in his flash forward that it was a mistake to go with Locke. I wonder if he means because of the attack on the compound or something else?
10. I really hope Daniel and Miles lives through this season. Again, not a question... I wonder if Daniel and Miles will live through this season. They have so much to offer but because of this seasons extremely fast pace there hasn't been a whole lot of time to develop these two (especially not Miles). I hope they make it to next year and get some flashbacks.
There you have it. Answers these questions now or ask your own.
-Maynard
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Aw, man, Weezer. Really?
This is rumored to be the cover for Weezer's new album, entitled "Weezer". They've had three albums now called Weezer. One of them was actually good (The Blue Album). I mean, doesn't this look like a fucking joke (which it might be)?
So what happened to these guys? Remember when they were awesome? The Blue Album and Pinkerton were pretty awesome anyways. Then they disappeared for like five years and when they came back they sounded exhausted. After FIVE YEARS!! Then they kept coming out with albums that only seemed to get worse and worse. Rivers Cuomo is one of the most notoriously eccentric characters in all of rock music, but why does his music sound so boring and lifeless now? It seems like Weezer doesn't make albums any more. They just make collections of songs that seem to make a shapeless whole. It's sad what has become of these guys.
-M
Friday, April 18, 2008
NBA Playoffs predictions
Out West-
Lakers(1) over the Nuggets(8) in 5 games.
Hornets(2) over the Mavericks(7) in 6 games.
Spurs(3) over the Suns(6) in 6 games.
Jazz(4) over the Rockets(5) in 6 games (poor, poor McGrady).
Out East (ugh...)
Celtics(1) over the Hawks(8) in 4 games
Pistons(2) over the 76ers(7) in 5 games.
Magic(3) over the Raptors(6) in 5 games.
Cavs(4) over the Wizards(5) in 6 games.
I'm thinking Celtics vs. Spurs in the Finals still... I think the Celtics might actually win it. Whoever wins the West will go to the Finals completely exhausted. Celtics probably won't have much of a challenge from anyone out East except for the Pistons and I don't see that match up going more than 6 games anyways... I'll say Celtics vs. Spurs with the Celtics winning in 6.
Lakers(1) over the Nuggets(8) in 5 games.
Hornets(2) over the Mavericks(7) in 6 games.
Spurs(3) over the Suns(6) in 6 games.
Jazz(4) over the Rockets(5) in 6 games (poor, poor McGrady).
Out East (ugh...)
Celtics(1) over the Hawks(8) in 4 games
Pistons(2) over the 76ers(7) in 5 games.
Magic(3) over the Raptors(6) in 5 games.
Cavs(4) over the Wizards(5) in 6 games.
I'm thinking Celtics vs. Spurs in the Finals still... I think the Celtics might actually win it. Whoever wins the West will go to the Finals completely exhausted. Celtics probably won't have much of a challenge from anyone out East except for the Pistons and I don't see that match up going more than 6 games anyways... I'll say Celtics vs. Spurs with the Celtics winning in 6.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Cat Wars: The terrible outcome
So the good guys won. YEAH!! But, wouldn't you know it, turns out the leaders of the good cats were corrupt. They fought for a just cause, but once their enemies were vanquished, they had power beyond belief. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Hedonists.
So you know what this means. Gotta do some more Cat Wars. The old good guys have turned to wickedness and their old workers have taken up the cause to either convert them or destroy them.
Now we can keep this going forever.
Hedonists.
So you know what this means. Gotta do some more Cat Wars. The old good guys have turned to wickedness and their old workers have taken up the cause to either convert them or destroy them.
Now we can keep this going forever.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Champions Elect?
What a day for Bada, he will tell it how it is.
Manchester United v Arsenal, probably the biggest game of the season so far. Must win for both teams for different reasons. United knowing a win would be needed to close in on the title especially with Chelsea on there asses. A loss or draw for Arsenal would surely end there title hopes even though it was still mathematically possible.
Table before the game: The title contenders. ^_^
Manchester United Played 33 Points 77
Chelsea Played 33 Points 74
Arsenal Played 33 Points 71
People who are not familiar with football, 20 teams, each team plays 38 games, 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw and 0 points for a loss.
The game:
Arsenal started off all guns blazing, they knew they had to win to be honest. They dominated the first half to be honest. I was still quietly confident though my team would get the job done. ;)
13th minute. Eboue runs down the wing for Arsenal and crosses it on a plate for Adebayor, i'm thinking surely a goal for Arsenal, Oh what's this FERDINAND with a saving block, what a block, what a defender.
23rd minute. What a ball from Evra to Ronaldo, seriously what a beauty of a ball, Ronaldo in behind Arsenal, cuts it back for Rooney, COME ON ROONEY!! but oh no Lehmann saves. He got lucky to be honest.
35th minute. BEST CHANCE YET. Hleb plays it through to Adebayor. Adebayor one on one with Van Der Sar, surely a goal for Arsenal. Tame shot by Adebayor, easy save for Van Der Sar. MUHAHA.
36th minute. Long kick out from Van Der Sar, Arsenal can't defend if there lives depended on it. Rooney through one on one with Lehmann, with about 3 Arsenal defenders chasing him. Rooney shoots and Lehamnn saves with his leg and trickles just past the post. SO CLOSE.
Half Time: I think Fergie used the hair dryer to be honest. United couldn't be any poorer. Bring on the second half.
48th minute. Disaster struck. Fabregas played in a freekick, it fizzled out to the wing to Van Persie who then crossed the ball into Adebayor 2 yards out. Guess what? He uses his hand to put the ball in the net. I went ballistic. Screaming at the tv YOU FUCKING CHEATER NIGGER!! You used your fucking hand!! Do your job properly REFEREE!! At this point my remote control went flying across the floor.
51st minute. Things nearly got worse for my team. The ball was whipped in and it hit off Ferdinands foot, was heading into the corner. 2-0 at home would be disaster. Van Der Sar pulls off a great save.
52nd minute. How things can suddenly change so dramatically. Carrick plays a hopeful ball back into the box and it hits off of Gallas hand in the box. PENALTY, IT WAS A FUCKING PENALTY. The referee obviously heard me and pointed to the penalty spot. So King Ronaldo v Lehmann. Would you bet against Ronaldo missing? I think not. Cool, calm and collective he steps up, does a little shuffle. BANG left hand side GOAL!! no chance for Lehmann. Oh no, penalty has to get retaken, fucking idiots ran in the box before the ball was struck. Take 2. Ronaldo v Lehmann again. Ronaldo steps up! BANG!! left hand side again GOAL!! 1-1 game on. The ground goes ballistic. Chants of VIVA RONALDO starts.
68th minute. Clichy runs down the wing and fires the ball across, it hits off of Brown, i was thinking SHIT own goal, thankfully it hits the post. Close escape. At this time i am sweating like an African.
71st minute. I think Evra thinks he is a striker, plays the ball into Rooney, surely this time Rooney. NO again, Lehamnn denies Rooney. GET YOUR FUCKING SHOOTING BOOTS ON!
71st minute and a bit. Free kick to United. 26 yards out or something. The stage is set up for Ronaldo. What's this? Owen Hargreaves places the ball down. I felt confident. Hargreaves curls it into the corner GOAL!! 2-1 United!!! I went beserk, i was singing really loud, my neighbours probably thought i was drunk. What a beauty of a freekick. Take a bow Hargreaves. Come back kings.
90th minute. Fabregas powers a freekick into the back post, where the fuck is the marking!! Bendter(yes that's his name)lol. Headers it at the near post. Oh shit, it's going to be a fucking goal! NO Van Der Sar, what a save!! you sonofagun!!
GAME OVER!!
What a game. My heart was pounding, now i can insult Arsenal fans. I'm going to brag so bad. :) I just love it, when people get proved wrong. Arsene Wenger said earlier on in the week that his team would win the title. :) how wrong was he. ;)
Manchester United Played 34 Points 80
Chelsea Played 33 Points 74
Arsenal Played 34 Points 71
Two more wins for Manchester United, the later game being against Chelsea, and they'll be back to back Champions again. :)
Old Trafford is rocking of chants from Viva Ronaldo.
-Bada.
Manchester United v Arsenal, probably the biggest game of the season so far. Must win for both teams for different reasons. United knowing a win would be needed to close in on the title especially with Chelsea on there asses. A loss or draw for Arsenal would surely end there title hopes even though it was still mathematically possible.
Table before the game: The title contenders. ^_^
Manchester United Played 33 Points 77
Chelsea Played 33 Points 74
Arsenal Played 33 Points 71
People who are not familiar with football, 20 teams, each team plays 38 games, 3 points for a win, 1 point for a draw and 0 points for a loss.
The game:
Arsenal started off all guns blazing, they knew they had to win to be honest. They dominated the first half to be honest. I was still quietly confident though my team would get the job done. ;)
13th minute. Eboue runs down the wing for Arsenal and crosses it on a plate for Adebayor, i'm thinking surely a goal for Arsenal, Oh what's this FERDINAND with a saving block, what a block, what a defender.
23rd minute. What a ball from Evra to Ronaldo, seriously what a beauty of a ball, Ronaldo in behind Arsenal, cuts it back for Rooney, COME ON ROONEY!! but oh no Lehmann saves. He got lucky to be honest.
35th minute. BEST CHANCE YET. Hleb plays it through to Adebayor. Adebayor one on one with Van Der Sar, surely a goal for Arsenal. Tame shot by Adebayor, easy save for Van Der Sar. MUHAHA.
36th minute. Long kick out from Van Der Sar, Arsenal can't defend if there lives depended on it. Rooney through one on one with Lehmann, with about 3 Arsenal defenders chasing him. Rooney shoots and Lehamnn saves with his leg and trickles just past the post. SO CLOSE.
Half Time: I think Fergie used the hair dryer to be honest. United couldn't be any poorer. Bring on the second half.
48th minute. Disaster struck. Fabregas played in a freekick, it fizzled out to the wing to Van Persie who then crossed the ball into Adebayor 2 yards out. Guess what? He uses his hand to put the ball in the net. I went ballistic. Screaming at the tv YOU FUCKING CHEATER NIGGER!! You used your fucking hand!! Do your job properly REFEREE!! At this point my remote control went flying across the floor.
51st minute. Things nearly got worse for my team. The ball was whipped in and it hit off Ferdinands foot, was heading into the corner. 2-0 at home would be disaster. Van Der Sar pulls off a great save.
52nd minute. How things can suddenly change so dramatically. Carrick plays a hopeful ball back into the box and it hits off of Gallas hand in the box. PENALTY, IT WAS A FUCKING PENALTY. The referee obviously heard me and pointed to the penalty spot. So King Ronaldo v Lehmann. Would you bet against Ronaldo missing? I think not. Cool, calm and collective he steps up, does a little shuffle. BANG left hand side GOAL!! no chance for Lehmann. Oh no, penalty has to get retaken, fucking idiots ran in the box before the ball was struck. Take 2. Ronaldo v Lehmann again. Ronaldo steps up! BANG!! left hand side again GOAL!! 1-1 game on. The ground goes ballistic. Chants of VIVA RONALDO starts.
68th minute. Clichy runs down the wing and fires the ball across, it hits off of Brown, i was thinking SHIT own goal, thankfully it hits the post. Close escape. At this time i am sweating like an African.
71st minute. I think Evra thinks he is a striker, plays the ball into Rooney, surely this time Rooney. NO again, Lehamnn denies Rooney. GET YOUR FUCKING SHOOTING BOOTS ON!
71st minute and a bit. Free kick to United. 26 yards out or something. The stage is set up for Ronaldo. What's this? Owen Hargreaves places the ball down. I felt confident. Hargreaves curls it into the corner GOAL!! 2-1 United!!! I went beserk, i was singing really loud, my neighbours probably thought i was drunk. What a beauty of a freekick. Take a bow Hargreaves. Come back kings.
90th minute. Fabregas powers a freekick into the back post, where the fuck is the marking!! Bendter(yes that's his name)lol. Headers it at the near post. Oh shit, it's going to be a fucking goal! NO Van Der Sar, what a save!! you sonofagun!!
GAME OVER!!
What a game. My heart was pounding, now i can insult Arsenal fans. I'm going to brag so bad. :) I just love it, when people get proved wrong. Arsene Wenger said earlier on in the week that his team would win the title. :) how wrong was he. ;)
Manchester United Played 34 Points 80
Chelsea Played 33 Points 74
Arsenal Played 34 Points 71
Two more wins for Manchester United, the later game being against Chelsea, and they'll be back to back Champions again. :)
Old Trafford is rocking of chants from Viva Ronaldo.
-Bada.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Flashback Vol. 2
Maynard started doing flashbacks so i thought i would make one as well about the old days back in first grade
let me start off by saying this o_O my life was great. i had everything. all kinds of friends who were willing to do anything i asked at any time. but this story will let you know of the truth about Lando's past and why he is the way he is.
i was just like any other kid. i loved playing and i hated school. i hated it but somehow i kept doing great. let me explain this shit hardcore. when i was in first grade, i would always bring home all kinds of awards. ribbons, fucking little bulldog things they'd give you if you did stuff, special erasers and pencils. this was going on ALL school year and everyone was so proud of me. the only thing was, i didn't do any school work. i would just hide it in my desk or in my back pack and forget about it. it was a great scam. i was getting the best grades of my life. sadly, i learned nothing. that's why me no smart no more :(
i cannot be held completely responsible. the teacher was an idiot and didn't even notice that i had done absolutely no school work. so i thought to myself "sure. why not?" and i got away with it for an entire year pretty much, until the last day of school. me and my teacher were cleaning out my desk and she noticed a years worth of school work not turned in or even completed. but everytime we had an assignment and i didn't feel like doing it or got bored with it i'd just walk up to her and ask her if i could do it later and she'd always say yes, so it's her fault mostly.
"what is THIS?!" she asked. and then she made me do SOME of it. like, 2 pages of it. but it was worth it. kind of. i mean... part of me wishes i had learned something that year... i can't do math too well... but who cares? cause now i run one of the hottest blogs on the internets and get paid the big money. factory work, mostly.
shit. i should have told the story about how i led a strike in pre-school. next time. next time...
-Lando
let me start off by saying this o_O my life was great. i had everything. all kinds of friends who were willing to do anything i asked at any time. but this story will let you know of the truth about Lando's past and why he is the way he is.
i was just like any other kid. i loved playing and i hated school. i hated it but somehow i kept doing great. let me explain this shit hardcore. when i was in first grade, i would always bring home all kinds of awards. ribbons, fucking little bulldog things they'd give you if you did stuff, special erasers and pencils. this was going on ALL school year and everyone was so proud of me. the only thing was, i didn't do any school work. i would just hide it in my desk or in my back pack and forget about it. it was a great scam. i was getting the best grades of my life. sadly, i learned nothing. that's why me no smart no more :(
i cannot be held completely responsible. the teacher was an idiot and didn't even notice that i had done absolutely no school work. so i thought to myself "sure. why not?" and i got away with it for an entire year pretty much, until the last day of school. me and my teacher were cleaning out my desk and she noticed a years worth of school work not turned in or even completed. but everytime we had an assignment and i didn't feel like doing it or got bored with it i'd just walk up to her and ask her if i could do it later and she'd always say yes, so it's her fault mostly.
"what is THIS?!" she asked. and then she made me do SOME of it. like, 2 pages of it. but it was worth it. kind of. i mean... part of me wishes i had learned something that year... i can't do math too well... but who cares? cause now i run one of the hottest blogs on the internets and get paid the big money. factory work, mostly.
shit. i should have told the story about how i led a strike in pre-school. next time. next time...
-Lando
U.S.A!! U.S.A!!
Pounding Punches - Watch more free videos
I saw this fight a few months ago and have been looking for it forever. This is just the beginning of it, but it's the best part. The American ended up winning.
-M
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Flashback Vol. 1
Hey. You know Lost? Pretty much my favorite show. So we decided to copy them for a new thing we got going here. You know how in each episode they have a flashback* to let you know how each character became the way they are? We're gonna do that. We're going to start telling stories from our pasts to let you Maynard and Lando-holics get to know why we are the way we are.
I'll start off with one of my all time favorite memories. This one comes from almost 20 years ago when I was in kindergarden. It was actually the last day of school, if memory serves. You know how on the last day of school they usually just send you outside and let you play games and run obstacle courses and whatnot? Yeah, that's what we were doing. I'm not going to lie to you guys- I was doing great. Running around, chasing the dream and getting checked out by all the babes to boot.
So the teachers decide it's time for the three legged race. I get paired up with some moron who I can't even remember. They tie our legs together and all that. Now, if I had been able to run the race alone, there's no doubt in my mind I'd have destroyed the CHUMPetition. But since I was paired up with this complete loser I was less than hopeful. I knew in my heart of hearts this guy was not a winner. He couldn't win. If I was going to get that blue ribbon, I'd have to take matters into my own hands. Put the burden on my own back and carry us to Glory.
Over the past few months I think I've portrayed myself pretty accurately on this blog (except for the fact that I don't even use my real name), so I think, if you've read this for awhile, you should know me well enough to know what comes next. The whistle blew and off I went.
Right off the bat, the idiot I was paired up with fell down. No surprise there. But it still didn't stop me from screaming at him. "GET UP!! GET UP!!" I yelled, even though I gave him absolutely no chance to get up, seeing as how I was dragging him across the field. I frantically looked around and saw many of the other children had fallen to the ground as well. "Good", I thought, "maybe we're not out of this thing yet. I've got to THINK!!"
But the only thing I could think of was to continue screaming at the kid, which I did with gusto. He was crab-crawling on the ground saying "I CAN'T!! STOP!! LET ME GET UP!!" What an idiot this kid was. So I just gritted my teeth and pushed ahead with everything I had.
I could see I had some competition from two other teams. We were neck and neck and they both had their partner actually helping them. It was champion time. Glory time.
Dragging that sorry bastard behind me, I fought my way to victory. WE HAD WON!! Or should I say, I had won, even though my partner did all he could to lose. My older sister came running up from nowhere and celebrated with me as I got my blue ribbon. Although I noticed the teachers made a terrible mistake by giving my partner a blue ribbon as well, instead of giving me two blue ribbons. I did the work of two people and still won, so I think it would only be fair for me to get both blue ribbons. Like I said, I can't remember that kid's name or even what he looks like, but if I ever see him again I might just lose my shit and hurt somebody.
Okay, so there you have it. My first flashback. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and I hope this helps to shed a little light on what makes me tick.
-Maynard
*Yes, I realize they also use flashforwards now too.
I'll start off with one of my all time favorite memories. This one comes from almost 20 years ago when I was in kindergarden. It was actually the last day of school, if memory serves. You know how on the last day of school they usually just send you outside and let you play games and run obstacle courses and whatnot? Yeah, that's what we were doing. I'm not going to lie to you guys- I was doing great. Running around, chasing the dream and getting checked out by all the babes to boot.
So the teachers decide it's time for the three legged race. I get paired up with some moron who I can't even remember. They tie our legs together and all that. Now, if I had been able to run the race alone, there's no doubt in my mind I'd have destroyed the CHUMPetition. But since I was paired up with this complete loser I was less than hopeful. I knew in my heart of hearts this guy was not a winner. He couldn't win. If I was going to get that blue ribbon, I'd have to take matters into my own hands. Put the burden on my own back and carry us to Glory.
Over the past few months I think I've portrayed myself pretty accurately on this blog (except for the fact that I don't even use my real name), so I think, if you've read this for awhile, you should know me well enough to know what comes next. The whistle blew and off I went.
Right off the bat, the idiot I was paired up with fell down. No surprise there. But it still didn't stop me from screaming at him. "GET UP!! GET UP!!" I yelled, even though I gave him absolutely no chance to get up, seeing as how I was dragging him across the field. I frantically looked around and saw many of the other children had fallen to the ground as well. "Good", I thought, "maybe we're not out of this thing yet. I've got to THINK!!"
But the only thing I could think of was to continue screaming at the kid, which I did with gusto. He was crab-crawling on the ground saying "I CAN'T!! STOP!! LET ME GET UP!!" What an idiot this kid was. So I just gritted my teeth and pushed ahead with everything I had.
I could see I had some competition from two other teams. We were neck and neck and they both had their partner actually helping them. It was champion time. Glory time.
Dragging that sorry bastard behind me, I fought my way to victory. WE HAD WON!! Or should I say, I had won, even though my partner did all he could to lose. My older sister came running up from nowhere and celebrated with me as I got my blue ribbon. Although I noticed the teachers made a terrible mistake by giving my partner a blue ribbon as well, instead of giving me two blue ribbons. I did the work of two people and still won, so I think it would only be fair for me to get both blue ribbons. Like I said, I can't remember that kid's name or even what he looks like, but if I ever see him again I might just lose my shit and hurt somebody.
Okay, so there you have it. My first flashback. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did and I hope this helps to shed a little light on what makes me tick.
-Maynard
*Yes, I realize they also use flashforwards now too.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Best of Radiohead
Not bad, not bad. Here's the track listing-
01 Just
02 Paranoid Android
03 Karma Police
04 Creep
05 No Surprises
06 High and Dry
07 My Iron Lung
08 There There (The Boney King of Nowhere.)
09 Lucky
10 Fake Plastic Trees
11 Idioteque
12 2+2=5 (The Lukewarm.)
13 The Bends
14 Pyramid Song
15 Street Spirit (Fade Out)
16 Everything in Its Right Place
The Best Of disc two:
01 Airbag
02 I Might Be Wrong
03 Go to Sleep (Little Man Being Erased.)
04 Let Down
05 Planet Telex
06 Exit Music (For a Film)
07 The National Anthem
08 Knives Out
09 Talk Show Host
10 You
11 Anyone Can Play Guitar
12 How to Disappear Completely
13 True Love Waits
Radiohead never seemed like the kind of band that would ever do a "Best of"
And they didn't. EMI is the one pulling this shit. Radiohead had nothing to do with it. And while I think the tracklisting is about as good as it can get, it still just seems wrong. If there was ever a band that you should NOT listen to the Best of, it's Radiohead. I know people say this about every band ever, but the only way to get to know what this band is about is to go back and listen to each album separately.
And now, just for the hell of it, I'll rank the Radiohead albums. I encourage you to do the same.
1. OK Computer- 10/10
2. Kid A- 10/10
3. The Bends- 10/10
4. In Rainbows- 9/10
5. Amnesiac- 8.5/10
6. Hail to the Thief- 7.5/10 (too... "Scatterbrain"-ed? Wink wink)
7. Pablo Honey- 6.5/10 (Good songs, just doesn't really have much of an identity)
-Maynard
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
April Fools
Ah, April Fools. My time to shine. People like me only get one day out of the year, April First, and we try to make the most out of it. Throughout the day, I'll be updating this post, telling you of my misadventures pranking my loved ones.
The day started off alright. I went downstairs and told everyone I had to go brush my teeth in the bathroom... only I didn't do it. Hehehe, April Fools, fuckers.
Next, I went into the living room. Greeted Lando... WITH A SWIFT KICK TO THE STOMACH!!
APRIL FOOLS, FUCKERS!!
Then he got on the computer a few minutes later... too bad he didn't see me hiding behind him. I snuck up on that April Fool and and hit him in the back with a broom ^_______^ April Fools!!
To be continued...
-M
UPDATE- Went outside where the dog, Tobey, is in a fence thing. I walked up to him and told him I was going to pet him. He jumped up and wagged his tail. I reached out to pet him... then pulled my hand away and yelled "APRIL FOOLS!!"
Tobey cocked his head to one side, then jumped up and started barking and crying.
More later- M
UPDATE NUMBER TWO- Went outside again. Picked some wild onions and knocked on the front door. My little brother answered and I threw the onions in his fucking face. APRIL FOOLS, FUCKER!!
-Maynard
UPDATE NUMBER THREE- Went to the park. We found this steep hill and decided to roll down it. When Lando rolled down it, he lost his shoe. I ran up, grabbed the shoe and threw it with all my might. "APRIL FOOLS!!", I yelled. Then he rolled down the hill again and got all muddy and really hurt himself.
^____________________^
-M
UPDATE NUMBER FOUR- Saw Lando talking to Bada on MSN. Lando went to the bathroom, so I got in his chair and typed "Fuck me. Oh man, fuck me." Big laugh from me.
Then we went to the store. On the way I kept swerving into the other lane yelling "APRIL FOOLS!!" Another big laugh. From me.
-The Always Classy... Maynard
UPDATE NUMBER FIVE (FINAL UPDATE)- Time for the biggest prank of them all. Time for the shocking twist ending. The one that will be remembered years from now... I've been lying all day long. Kind of.
I did brush my teeth this morning. I was unable to kick Lando in the stomach because he blocked my attack. Also, I didn't hit him in the back with a broom. He took most of the hit on his shoulder. I didn't even bother Tobey today. When I threw the onions at my brother, it missed his face and went over his shoulder. I did throw Lando's shoe, but I didn't throw it with all my might. Plus, the wind caught it, so it barely went anywhere. When I wrote "Fuck me" to Bada, I actually only wrote "Kiss me." While we were driving, I did swerve a little, but never crossed over the line and never did it while traffic was coming.
Does this shock you? The Usual Suspects, The Sixth Sense and The Empire Strikes Back can kiss my ass. Biggest. Shock. Ever.
For you see, dear reader, the prank has been on YOU all along.
April Fools, fuckers.
-M
The day started off alright. I went downstairs and told everyone I had to go brush my teeth in the bathroom... only I didn't do it. Hehehe, April Fools, fuckers.
Next, I went into the living room. Greeted Lando... WITH A SWIFT KICK TO THE STOMACH!!
APRIL FOOLS, FUCKERS!!
Then he got on the computer a few minutes later... too bad he didn't see me hiding behind him. I snuck up on that April Fool and and hit him in the back with a broom ^_______^ April Fools!!
To be continued...
-M
UPDATE- Went outside where the dog, Tobey, is in a fence thing. I walked up to him and told him I was going to pet him. He jumped up and wagged his tail. I reached out to pet him... then pulled my hand away and yelled "APRIL FOOLS!!"
Tobey cocked his head to one side, then jumped up and started barking and crying.
More later- M
UPDATE NUMBER TWO- Went outside again. Picked some wild onions and knocked on the front door. My little brother answered and I threw the onions in his fucking face. APRIL FOOLS, FUCKER!!
-Maynard
UPDATE NUMBER THREE- Went to the park. We found this steep hill and decided to roll down it. When Lando rolled down it, he lost his shoe. I ran up, grabbed the shoe and threw it with all my might. "APRIL FOOLS!!", I yelled. Then he rolled down the hill again and got all muddy and really hurt himself.
^____________________^
-M
UPDATE NUMBER FOUR- Saw Lando talking to Bada on MSN. Lando went to the bathroom, so I got in his chair and typed "Fuck me. Oh man, fuck me." Big laugh from me.
Then we went to the store. On the way I kept swerving into the other lane yelling "APRIL FOOLS!!" Another big laugh. From me.
-The Always Classy... Maynard
UPDATE NUMBER FIVE (FINAL UPDATE)- Time for the biggest prank of them all. Time for the shocking twist ending. The one that will be remembered years from now... I've been lying all day long. Kind of.
I did brush my teeth this morning. I was unable to kick Lando in the stomach because he blocked my attack. Also, I didn't hit him in the back with a broom. He took most of the hit on his shoulder. I didn't even bother Tobey today. When I threw the onions at my brother, it missed his face and went over his shoulder. I did throw Lando's shoe, but I didn't throw it with all my might. Plus, the wind caught it, so it barely went anywhere. When I wrote "Fuck me" to Bada, I actually only wrote "Kiss me." While we were driving, I did swerve a little, but never crossed over the line and never did it while traffic was coming.
Does this shock you? The Usual Suspects, The Sixth Sense and The Empire Strikes Back can kiss my ass. Biggest. Shock. Ever.
For you see, dear reader, the prank has been on YOU all along.
April Fools, fuckers.
-M
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